It's very disheartening when people can't even be bothered to reply to messages. I've not long been on this site, and had enough already. Its impossible for me to make new friends.
I typed the reply below and then realized you were looking to cuddle men. I'm less sure of how that market goes, but it sounds like you're having a similar experience, so maybe the same advice applies.
Yeah, it's very difficult to start an interaction with nonpro women on this site. It's like a dating site but worse. In nine months on this site, I've had two interactions with nonpro women that seemed like they might actually lead to meeting... and they both turned out to be prostitutes.
My strong advice: stop trying. It's too frustrating. Either see pros on this site or meet people elsewhere.
I’m sorry you are having a negative experience.
That is disappointing to hear. I hoped that, even though this is a free site, it was niche enough to only attract people who were serious about cuddling / hugging.
@DanielODonnell you have a more optimistic view of the general public than I do.
I hear you on that. I'm super limited to people in my area since I live in somewhat of a rural area. The one professional in my area that seemed active, I asked a legitimate question two weeks ago about what to expect and what their procedure is. Seriously considering to book a time. They saw my profile and question, but never replied back. You're right, it's very disheartening and discouraging.
While I can't speak for everyone, I do know that some site members, mostly Pros, can be swamped with messages so it can take a while to get a response back. The screenshot below is from a Pro that had a report against them (false claims and the report was dismissed) who was online an hour ago and is fairly regular yet still had over 100 new and unread messages. When so many people are messaging, you almost have to stop everything you're doing just to take time for reading through them and respond... and many messages can look like 2-5 word copy/paste messages while others are a 1 page biography. Keep in mind, some come to the site and leave without ever coming back as they were only interested but weren't ready or open to meet with anyone and others may have their reasons for not responding. Keep at it and don't let the ones that didn't response get you down too much.
@gray2109 I totally get you. What makes it worse is when you message them, add them as a friend, they accept it, still view your profile but never reply or say a word. I'm just close to blocking those people. Because one it's rude and two it's very creepy and auspicious.
@mb0 I get the same, non - pros. either don't respond to you or if they do they turn out to be prostitutes disguised as cuddlers and/or scammers.
Sorry about that, theres a pro on here that totally ignores me and we live in the same city lol
@gray2109 Yep, I hear you, but give it time. It took me a good few months after joining to find someone. It was a bit frustrating and disheartening, and I guess I thought (wrongly) there'd be a lot more cuddlers in and around London. But in the 18-ish months I've been on the site, I've met up with half a dozen different people, and they've mostly been good experiences. Be patient, and hopefully it'll pay off before too long.
@gray2109 I would also add that it maybe help ful to redefine and /or refine what it is you want from interacting with people. Are you looking to cuddle for the possibility of a long-term friendship and/or relationship? Or do you just want to cuddle for therapy, recreation, novel experience and some experimentation? Or do you just want cuddle period, occasionally or regularly? Whatever it is you decide you want from this site decide how and what you want that experience to look like. Then when you make contact you frame your conversations with that contact around those things you want and engage your contact on the same. They may or may not engage. But you know what you want. And pace yourself. Be mindful of individual tastes and cultural beliefs and practices and be prepared to have a mindset or paradigm shift. The possibilities are endless. It might just be what you needed but dismissed or frowned on or just never considered. Keep an open mind and heart knowing what you truly want and be willing to talk about it. Each person has his or her own space to carve and create. Ask your self always: what's mine? @bless
I am not sure what the dynamic is like for men looking to cuddle other men. Though, in general, as you said yourself you haven't been here much. I think sometimes slow does it, more patience and you just might get lucky.
That said, some women (perhaps for men to some degree too) aren't comfortable with newbies. We want to give them time to better understand the community, and the rules, етс. So, we aren't so quick to respond to new members as we would older ones.
I don't think we are just talking friendship here either. The cuddle (which I think is more intimate, and often involves intimate spaces) factor adds to the challenge, and uncertainty. Also, checking out your profile, I'd add a bit more* about your hobbies, cuddle preference, and state that you welcome getting messaged, as well. I think this would help others better relate to you. Even if you differ on said hobbies, it can be attractive to know that someone has some hobbies that they are excited to talk about.
Also, writing in one's profile "nobody messages me" while it can be the fact. I think it doesn't help most people in wanting to message you. I hear that people are attracted to knowing you are being sought after. Or not knowing whether you are, or not. Could be completely false. Or could have some truth to it. Though, in the end, you know your comfort, and will manage this in a way that suits you best.
What's disheartening is when someone messages you and you chat for a bit planning to meet to cuddle.... then randomly you receive every excuse as to why the person doesnt want to cuddle anymore (you're married, you're too tall, you're too short, you live too far)... Like why waste someone's time of you have preferences that they don't meet? It's just disappointing ehh 😔🙄.
@SoftPetals been in quite similar situations. If they know upfront of these incompatiblities, though still went for you then, that's certainly frustrating to say the least. Or those who have "unstable work schedule" etc., So, they cancel on you over, and over after making plans: because y'know, "something" came up at work. I can't deal with that either.
Although, there are some grey areas all around. In the end, if their way don't suit us then we need to not lose ourselves trying to make it suitable all ourselves.
@Lovelight that's very true! It's just a bit frustrating. I like people to have their minds made up instead of planning something, in which people change or block off time in their schedule for people to cancel. I'm sorry you had to face these issues too. 💚🤗
I'm not sure if it's because I'm a pro I don't get replies to a lot of messages? (aka, "I'm not willing to pay, so I'm not going to talk to you") I'm all up for just conversing and making connections... and it sucks not getting a reply, but I do my best to assume positive intent as to why they don't message.
I find sending a message online, is kinda like when you walk past someone and try to make eye contact, and then they purposely don't make eye contact and keep walking... laughs. I guess in real life, you can tell a lot easier / quicker that someone isn't interested.
I think it's one of those "it's not YOU, it's THEM", so come with no expectations, and enjoy any connections you do make
Your profile has photos, (real photos, that aren't blurry, or not even showing you haha)... And a little bit written...
The only suggestion I could make it maybe mention a bit more about your interests, etc. Gives people a talking point. (ie, whenever I'm walking out and about wearing my motorcycle jacket... people who also ride will strike conversations up with me) Same thing with my profile... they see I ride, so other riders (or people who'd like to) will strike up conversations. Gotta bait the hook with something!
P.S. I do like your King Kong Photo
Don't only be on this site go outside also
@Dante_S well said! I like that KK photo as well. Hahaha! Creative, and cute. 🙂
If you arent getting the responses... mention that you are looking to book a session. I know often I'll chat chat chat with gents and it never goes anywhere so I am less likely to respond as fast anymore. But when you mention "booking a session" it makes your message a priority.
Thank you for the replies. I haven't logged on since posting this.
It doesn't surprise me if there are scammers on this site, they are everywhere. Normally they are in the US army on a peace mission in Syria or Afghanistan and want money or gift cards.
I am not full on when I message, but I am looking for something more serious later on. I am not very sexual, so long term.
I have no interest in paying someone for a cuddle
@gray2109 I'm sorry it's not working out how you'd hoped. Enthusiasts are harder to get the eye of since they tend to be very selective of who they would like to interact with. There's nothing wrong with this unless they're being rude or prejudicial when offering a rejection, it's like any other site where you meet up with people. You keep trying on till you find a fit, and you take your time developing that relationship. Best of luck to you.
Unfortunately, there are many reasons why most people will not return your messages. It’s not you, it’s society. It’s women getting dozens or even hundreds of messages at once and being overwhelmed. In general, people don’t communicate like they used to. Technology pulls us apart. Don’t let it bring you down.
I’ve put much effort into sending thoughtful, polite messages to people and might be lucky if I get a response 1 out of 4 times. It’s probably closer to 1 out of 10. It’s extra hard when people view your profile, but ignore your message, or like your posts on social media, but disregard your text message. Etc.
I find it very rude !!!!, not to reply back, a simple, no thanks, would be OK. I guess it's just the times, and the way they were brought up !!!!, I'm sure glad I was taught to be courteous to everyone!!!!!!