Tips to find cuddlers in rural areas?

quincyq03quincyq03
in General

What if your town, city or area does not have many cuddlers on here... what advice would you give to find a cuddler?

Even though I live in a larger city (Oklahoma City has over 600K people), there are only 2-3 “free” cuddlers within a 50-mile radius that have been on over the past few weeks. It must be even harder for those people who live in other parts of Oklahoma and various rural areas around the country.

Thank you in advance for any suggestions!

Comments

  • LongbowLongbow

    Tips to anyone having trouble finding one, shell out the $. Not only will you find more but they will come to you.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    What @Longbow said. Supply and demand. I travel full-time in my motorhome to get places where people want me to go. If anyone really wants the experience, it's available. There just aren't enough people who are interested and care to give it, the number of people remaining compared to the demand, we have to charge... Not sure what else to tell you. 😞

  • GoinWithTheFlowGoinWithTheFlow
    edited October 2019

    .

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    You have to charge because of the demand? I’m not looking to turn this into a debate...If I’m understanding you directly @ubergigglefritz, less people care to give affection and physical touch [these days] without compensation? Sad times we live in I guess. With all of the negativity in the world, I’m trying my best to bring more love and positivity in the world and expect nothing in return.

    I’ve searched other places that I’ve lived (mainly East Coast) and there are a lot more cuddlers that show up in search results, including paid and free. Even paid cuddlers are hard to find within a 2-3 hour drive to where I live.

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    @GoinWithTheFlow many of us can’t afford the time and money to drive several hours and pay hundreds of dollars just to cuddle with someone for a few hours.

    Power to people who make a living that way, but a large percentage of us simply cannot afford to partake in such a transaction.

  • GoinWithTheFlowGoinWithTheFlow

    I think you misunderstood my post

  • quincyq03quincyq03
    edited October 2019

    @GoinWithTheFlow I’m not sure Tulsa is a very rural area, but if you live outside the city, then my apologies.

    I think the culture out here in Oklahoma is different than where I’ve lived before. More people want to settle down and have families, especially at a young age. I get weird looks when I tell people I’m in my 30s, I’ve never been married and I don’t want to start a family. There are less people open to just cuddling here. That’s what I’ve seen in my experience.

    The ratio of cuddlers to general population is much lower out here in the Bible Belt/Midwest/Plains.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Sad times indeed. Lots of judgment and cruelty to others. We are the most disconnected and connected society at the same time. Connected in technology, but disconnected when it comes to treating each other as feeling human beings. My whole life I have had people grasp onto me after I simply just saw them. I know what it feels like to feel invisible. Everyone deserves to be seen. Too many people in this world are so stuck in their own, that they can't (or won't) see anyone else. I am someone who sees people. It is unfortunate that is a rare quality in a person.

    I agree that it is expensive and a lot of people can't afford it. I do what I can to provide discounts and deals, and have some room in my schedule for people with a particular need who are on a limited income. But that would be people dealing with past trauma looking for the therapeutic value more than people who just want a warm body to hold 😕 Unfortunately, my experience shows that people who are finicky about the price don't value me and what I offer, no matter the price. And that doesn't amount to a good experience for either of us...

  • GoinWithTheFlowGoinWithTheFlow

    Yes i do live out of the city, actually so rural, its 7mi to to closest gas station.
    Good Cuddlers can be hard to come by, you prefer not to be paid for cuddling, but if you had a fee for travel, you could increase your search area, and have a larger selection of cuddlers. Just a thought.

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    I’m glad I started this discussion. At least others and myself can now know that the only way you’ll find cuddling outside of large coastal cities is to pay. At least I know what I’m getting into.

    I joined this site a month ago not knowing what to expect and it’s good that I now have a much better idea.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Even people in big cities can have a hard time. There are threads upon threads on this subject in the forums. Endless reasons why there aren't many women cuddling for free. One of my female clients came to me after trying that route. Didn't go so well for her unfortunately. One thing you get with a quality professional is safety. Also, agreed upon intentions you can count on (you said you're not interested in a relationship). A lot of risks with a non-professional. Or even with a "professional". Cuddling is incredibly intimate and vulnerable. Safety and boundaries are very important. It's not so easy to find that for free. Possible, but not necessarily to be expected...

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    I’ve had more luck finding cuddles on apps like Tinder and many would argue that sexual encounters are even more dangerous than platonic ones. The hard thing about dating apps is the vast majority of the time, in my experience, the woman thinks I meant “sex” when I said “cuddle,” or she expects sex after we started cuddling. Not once did any of them ask me for money, however.

    Again, I did not know much about the online cuddling scene prior to a month ago, so it’s good that I’m learning fast about how it works.

  • DonLonGDonLonG

    This is a new territory being discovered and explored. And just like the days of old, women on the frontier were probably pretty scarce until the communities started to develop with a higher population and traffic. I'm sure most of the cowboys had to pay to spend time with the fairer sex during this period.

    I figure we all have some options available. We can be a pioneer, settle down, help develop awareness, and encourage more people to join the community. Or we can be an opportunist, seeing what this town has to offer, then move on. Maybe come back after others have put in the years of hard work that is needed.

    Things are tough, and there's a lot of work to be done. This is the wild, wild west. How will history remember you?

  • mncuddler55311mncuddler55311

    I'm curious about this topic too. I just moved to Minneapolis and the same thing....2 people active on the site within 50 miles within the past 4 months.

  • [Deleted User]BigGuyGa (deleted user)

    Goats.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I am considering tinder actually, and my city has over a million people in it. I have been on this site for over two years I think and have met exactly one person for cuddles. It’s simply not effective for me.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @Catloaf is there any cuddling community up there? Cuddle parties, or a Meetup at something?

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Yes there is a cuddle party that I know of where catloaf and myself live.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    Well there you go. That's a good way to meet people who like cuddling 😊

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I did go once but it doesn’t work well for me because of when and where it is. If I had one that happened to be at my local community centre then I would likely go.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited October 2019

    There are two active facilitators in Calgary, maybe some in Edmonton but the rest of our province might be neglected. My dream would be to take the CP course and eventually be able to travel to different rural areas in Alberta that want a meetup. Our province is heavily conservative... there might not be too much conscious demand from the general public but I'm all about helping to open minds. So @quincyq03, I understand totally where you're coming from in that people in your area might not "get it". I've encountered pretty much the same issue where I live! You'd think Canadians would be more open to this sort of thing, but Albertans are another story. 😔

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)
    edited October 2019

    So what are the suggestions? I too live in a rural community. I drive from a minimum of 40 to up to 200 miles to meet and cuddle with people. And I live on the east coast! It's very expensive. When you factor in toll road fees, gas, wear and tear on your vehicle. It's also very physically and mentally draining doing 2-5 hour drives each way. Often times being cancelled on or shortchanged in cuddle time. I can't buy groceries whenever I do a cuddle . My stomach stays empty for days after because I'm counting my pennies on my credit cards and bill payments. So yes that's the reality. But the silver lining I have found is that I save a lot of money in hotel fees when I choose to just meet the person in a public place like a park, or mall or open space where we can sit and talk and cuddle for hours. I sit in a park bench. Or I may stand or walk around. If the weather is bad we meet in an enclosed space like a mall or shopping center. It's not the most intimate but it's cost effective. We both go home feeling energized and comforted. That 4 hour drive feels like 30 minutes and I get a good night's sleep even on an empty stomach. Just be open-minded. It takes 2 to appreciate and lessen the burden.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Hey catloaf, who is the other person? I Only know angela

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @JasonCuddles The other one is Gillian, who runs Cuddle Connection YYC. She's a local pro who was in the news last year.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Cool thank you :)

  • MrPapaveraceaeMrPapaveraceae

    I know the struggle. I would love if this site was more popular. I have to resort to other dating sites and it confuses people when I say I'm just looking for someone to cuddle.
    I just did a search in CC for my area for both men and women and came up with zero results in 50 miles.

  • DonLonGDonLonG

    I made a new year's resolution to upgrade my status from "Forever Alone" to "Slightly Desperate". I still have more than 2 months to accomplish that goal. But why wait until the beginning of a new year to change and improve ourselves?

    I propose that we make a resolution right now to recruit one person we know to make an account here on this site by the end of the year. If all the active members can go out and get just one person, we could double the activity here. Then next year if we can double it again, the idea of this place can really start taking shape.

    We don't need an avalanche. Just get the snowball started and the momentum will take it from there. Are you up for the challenge?

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited October 2019

    I've posted ads in the past to try and get people in my city to join. And it seems to have worked a bit! I see way more people logging in regularly, and staying. They must be connecting with each other to some degree.

    I have a template as well as some photos you can use in an ad. If anybody is interested in doing that on behalf of their own area feel free to drop your email in a PM and I'll send it over :)

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