Is this a real thing?

Cuddler444Cuddler444
in General

I might have the wrong idea, but it seems like cuddling is a man seeking women thing. Cuddling can be an emotional experience for women and I welcome emotions, some need to just let it out, but I dont think women search for this kind of service. Am I wrong?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    As I understand it, there are more men here than women (and more women than enbies), but there are still plenty of women out there who want to be able to cuddle with a guy without ever being pressed for sex.

    ...Of course, even on this site, that can be difficult to find....

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited October 2019

    Based on the number of active male versus female members, far more men are seeking this service than women. There are probably a few different reasons for this. Men usually take the active role and women the passive role in initiating relationships. Maybe women have less need for cuddling, their needs are met elsewhere, or they feel it is unsafe. The majority of women active on this site are seeking payment for cuddling.

  • peaches9248peaches9248

    From an enthusiast point of view: Yes. This is a real thing. I searched for cuddling without emotional connection and expectations of "dating". They may be hard to find, but we are out there.

  • GemstoneGemstone

    @UKGuy
    Actually, your last theory is more correct! Women love to be cuddled just as much as men. And how much men like to be cuddled varies from person to person, which is the same for us ladies.

    The only reason we don't go seeking it out as much as we want it are because the heavy majority of women have been made to feel extremely unsafe.
    When a partner misleads us with promises of no interest in sex and just wanting our embrace, eventually the truth comes out and things can turn ugly real fast.

    It's an unfortunate circumstance, but perhaps things will change as time goes on. Considering how touch-starved a great deal of people are as their busy lives consume all their free time, the future seems likely that maybe having cuddlebuds will become more of a norm instead of niche. c:

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    I think women tend to have more friends (especially other women) that would willingly cuddle with them platonically. With men, it’s probably extremely rare that another man will be willing to cuddle with them in a non sexual way. The same sex friendship dynamic is typically quite different between men and women in today’s society.

    In my experience, it’s also been very rare that a woman will cuddle with me without trying to initiate sexual activity. At least that is why I am trying to find a cuddle buddy on here, where intentions are explicitly clear.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    The OP bit the dust. I guess @SoulcuddlerZ showed him real.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    OP was here for a good time. Not a long time. Too bad. I was going to let him know this is a real thing, but not a sure thing.

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)
    edited October 2019

    We women do seek out the experience of cuddling. Whether it's in the form of a paid service or mutually shared consensual experience. We do seek it. Yes there's the safety issue . As most of us are mentally conditioned to associate cuddling with a pre or after sex activity. So it's very difficult for many to take their head out of that state. But there's also the challenge of encouraging people to engage an open conversation about their expectations of the cuddling experience. Especially men who are conditioned to not talk about their feelings. The only space they have felt comfortable with expressing their feelings is in a sexual way or in the space of a romantic relationship. The idea of cuddling platonically and sharing yourself and body with another person at the same time without the possibility of sexual release or outside of a romantic space is alien to him. So what I have found is that while I am seeking a strictly platonic cuddle, the man I'm often talking to at the other end is feeling for a cuddle with the benefit of sex. There a quite a few men who do share my passion for a good platonic cuddle. These are men I not only have amazing cuddle experiences with but also brilliant soul filling conversations about cuddling. And I have been very blessed to have found them. But there are many more men who cannot walk away from the mindset they have grown up with to associate the physical intimacy of a cuddle with potential sexual release. That's the real issue for me as a woman.
    I'm always open and happy to cuddle platonically with a man or woman. But that platonic boundary has to be acknowledged and respected. And that can't happen until some people commit to unlearning what their life experiences have taught them to believe about the cuddling experience.

  • mncuddler55311mncuddler55311

    Some women do search for this and I really believe that more should. There is something really powerful about human touch without agenda. Cuddling without it leading to foreplay and sex is very therapeutic. There are so many positive benefits-oxytocin release, stress reduction, relaxation, etc. Also it is very empowering to communicate with someone about boundaries and experience that you have agency, choice and voice about how someone is touching you.

    When I cuddle, there are important ground rules...platonic touch and clothes stay on, not pursuing sexual energy. This creates trust and safety which leads to positive activation of the nervous system. This is very effective at alleviating negative activation of the nervous system like tension, anxiety, depression.

  • DeathbyChocolatDeathbyChocolat

    @quincyq03 I wouldn't assume that we "girls" just go around cuddling each other even though where friends

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella

    I believe everybody has hit the nail on the head with their feedback so my input would really just be reiterating what everyone says but women definitely also seek out cuddling, whether as an enthusiast or client. Ive had even some of their husbands and boyfriends even reach out to me for them because they were the ones with accounts

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited October 2019

    I am sure there are some women out there that are clueless this place exists. Though also, men and women generally speaking differ in some ways. I think even men to a certain extent seek emotional support. Though where women can get from either or, men are a lot more inclined to seek from women. Which when they’ve no women Edit: to hold that space for them end of edit. around them can make them isolated.

    Most women can also hug out break ups with other women, hold hands to help console, support each other emotionally. Thus, making them not as dependent on men. However with men, unfortunately, they just aren’t at that stage yet. Especially, I am speaking in terms of the western world(?) whereas other parts of the world it’s quite the opposite, etc.

    I was in a discussion sometime too about some men taking rather awful photos for their dating profiles, and why this is the case. One of the points raised by one of the men was he and his buddies (other men) feel awkward/ taking photos with each other. Or even asking each other to take photos. By the time they finished high school it got weird(?) etc. Though, he also expressed how that type of mentality can be problematic for men.

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