Cuddle buddy or friend?

1234567891012345678910
edited October 2019 in General

Hi, there. Would you consider your cuddle buddy as friend? Would you prefer just cuddling or perhaps consider developing a life long friendship?
I am a bit confused lately on my relationship with my cuddle buddy. I am keen to know him more and be friends rather than acquaintance. But do you reckon this is a bit “unprofessional”?

Any thoughts are appreciated! Cheers!

  1. Friends or cuddle buddy?18 votes
    1. Cuddle buddy :)
      33.33%
    2. Friendzzz!
      55.56%
    3. Unsure??
      11.11%

Comments

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited October 2019

    So you're cuddling with someone who is professional then, or an enthusiast @12345678910?

    I don't see how you'd feel 'unprofessional' with an enthusiast...but if you are cuddling with an enthusiast, this is no big deal. Ask them how they feel about moving toward a fully fledged friendship. Be ready to accept the answer yes or no. It's always important to ask before you think about trying to change someone else's reality, as their expectations may be different than yours. Keep that in mind.

    If they're a professional, tread carefully. They may be warm, attentive and friendly, but a professional boundary needs to exist there. With that said, throughout my cuddling adventures I have had two clients become friends. I think it was easier for them to ask about friendship when they knew I really enjoyed the time, but also because I let my clients know that they don't need to feel bad for asking a question. The answer will either be yes or no, and those aren't words we need to be afraid of. Just words we need to learn to accept. A professional might not be open to friendships though, so gauge their interest silently, and make sure you're being honest with yourself. It really can't hurt to ask or suggest, but also have few expectations in mind too.

    Whatever happens, congrats on finding a cuddle buddy.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    So you are a straight man who cuddles women but you have a male cuddle buddy. And you are confused about whether to remain an acquaintance or develope a friendship, but have concerns about the friendship maybe being unprofessional.

    You're not listed as a pro, so no worries there.

    The word buddy is by definition a close friend. There's no difference between a cuddle buddy and a cuddle friend. An acquaintance on the otherhand is not a friend.

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)
    edited October 2019

    As long as he is comfortable with the idea of being friends with you. If you're both cuddling regularly with each other and have already created that space for platonic closeness then there should be no issue there. You're both enthusiasts so that can be a good thing.

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @12345678910 Happy that you are primarily interested in women but open to a close male friend as a cuddle buddy too. I am Straight but cuddle both genders too. From my experiences some cuddle buddies will be friends and others are just acquaintances, trying to get certain needs meet. I have been there before wanting a cuddle buddy to be a true friend but they were acting more like an causal acquaintance. It takes two people with similar interests to be true friends. So either me will step it up or you too will just be causal.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited October 2019

    @12345678910 There are people I cuddle with who do consider friends outside of the context of cuddling. We might talk and check In on a regular basis, hang out when able, and have other personal interests with each other that fall outside of just cuddling, Then there are people who the only thing we really ever do is cuddle. We might go weeks or even months without talking, and when we do it is to see when we are available to cuddle, and then we meet for a bit have some small talk, cuddle, and then are on our way. I wouldn't say that either are better experiences as far as the cuddling is concerned, just the context is different. You asked if it is unprofessional. So I am not sure if you are asking about being friends with a pro or not. Pros are people and like to have friends too. Apart from respecting personal boundaries as one always should anyway, and not expecting a sexual relationship especially since money exchanges hands, I see nothing unprofessional about it. Just realize they may not feel the same way. Cuddling can create all sorts of feel good stuff, and you may feel a deeper connection than there actually is. So it is easy to conflate feelings of attachment especially during or right after you cuddle someone. And if it is a pro you are referring to, I am sure they will be going out of their way to make you feel good but realize they are likely doing this for all of their clients. It is what they do, it is part of the deal when paying for a session, and is part of what makes for a good cuddler to be honest. Like @Catloaf said, be emotionally mature enough to pose the question and emotionally mature enough to accept whatever answer is given, and hopefully if it is not mutual it wont impact whatever cuddle thing you two already have together.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited October 2019

    I found myself in similar situations. Except we didn't meet in a cuddle context.

    My story:

    We've been helping each other with a task. From day one of meeting. Maybe even before that, I begun developing romantic feelings for one of them. I've had many feelings before him. So I know I can deal with said feelings. At some point, another part of me also wondered, whether we are friends/wanted to be friends with him. I think I was a bit tempted to ask. Though, decided to wait it out. Turns out, after a few months, he said the word f.r.i.e.n.d. It was in a message: 'Something, something my friend.' In my mind I was like: "WOAH!!!! We are friends? 😳😂"

    I might bring it up when we meet. That question can be misread in messaging.
    I tend to express my emotions of love through acts of service/action, etc. So, I am quite less likely to say those words, and at least not first/frequently.

    With my friendships, I don't recall there being a discussion about it. Except them saying that word someway, sometime. I think with the other guy, it was after about a year when we begun to go beyond our main goal.

    My advice:

    If you think you are still new to this person, I'd advice to give it some more time. Perhaps 5 months. Just continue to know, and enjoy his company.

    If you've already known each other for about 5 months, and still not sure, consider asking:

    "Would you prefer just cuddling, or developing friendship with your cuddle partner?"

    Or even, messaging/saying in person "Hey, my friend! 🙂"

    Then, hopefully someday if/when he feels the same, he'll reciprocate.

    One of the other was to help figure out is, is he only speaking with you to arrange cuddle time. Or are you two speaking beyond that. Spending non cuddle time, going for lunch/drinks/doing other activities you two enjoy, supporting each other emotionally, etc.

    Also, my profile (elsewhere) does contain the word "friends" here, and there. So at least others know I am open to that possibility when we connect.

  • mncuddler55311mncuddler55311

    I think it depends. If they are professional, you are paying them to hold space for you and they are providing a service. They are practitioners and you are paying them for their time. If you are cuddling with someone and not paying for it, then i think you are friends who cuddle. You are both spending quality time together and no one is being compensated for it.

  • 1234567891012345678910

    Hi all,
    Thank you so much for your thoughts and advice!!! I am kinna new to cuddling and really happy to hear what is the general expectation on friends vs cuddle buddy. Yay, I know what to do now — thank you all!

    And yes, we are both enthusiasts :D

    Have a good day/evening/night (:depends on where you are on this planet:)

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