The best practices for managing alone/ loneliness and the desire to cuddle

Comments

• Wesk (deleted user)

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  I chose to be alone so I won't be lonely.

  Technology has gotten into the hands of the wrong people, and it is poorly being used and abuse. The mighty dollar is speaking loudly and clearly.

  As far as platonic cuddling is concern, not enough people know about this or care to understand its benefits and rewards, so, therefore, those who desperately need this service, the battle continues. I am longing for the day where doctors give prescriptions for cuddling sessions and where professional cuddlers are held to a high standard.

  We have lost our ability to show genuine concern and compassion to those around us.
• MrFirefighter

  October 2019

  Yikes! And all I did was come here to cuddle.
• SpartanGuy

  October 2019

  @MrFirefighter LOL

  Are you ready for some discussion of body shaming, internet etiquette, feminism, and passing gas during s cuddle? There will be a dose of virtue signaling as well. Enjoy.
• DonLonG

  October 2019

  @SpartanGuy said:

  passing gas during s cuddle

  Presenting - A butt shell, to say farewell, to that gas smell.
• TheFunCartel

  October 2019

  The robots are coming! Check to make sure your cuddle partner is human by seeing if they blink, and if so, is it a natural blink? Technology has fallen into the wrong bodies!
• TheFunCartel

  October 2019

  @SpartanGuy Do not forget the boner threads.
• Novamoon (deleted user)

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  I like to think that we as cuddlers could be the first steps in helping alleviate the rampant loneliness that a lot of people feel. There can absolutely be a lonely cuddle, because if one is holding themselves back from letting themselves bond with another person for real, they will inevitably feel lonely. If we foster a community that values and accepts people for who they are (minus the malicious creepazoids), I think that we can show people that it's possible to create lasting relationships with people who are not the same as them. Without going into politics and religion too much, I think that we have largely been taught that we can only seek out what we need from "appropriate" sources which have been assigned by status and social structure. It's so widespread that we hardly even see it anymore. I would like to change people's minds about platonic cuddling, if for no other reason than I stop weirding out my friends if I sit too close to them 😅
• butterflyv

  October 2019

  Interesting point about alone-ness versus loneliness.

  There is something super compelling about cuddling that you can actually be loathe to leave a bad relationship because you won't have place to rest your head under someone's chin while wrapped under their arm. In my case I am not lonely but not having a partner means I don't have that kind of nourishment of deep physical contact that cuddling provides.

  Do you think it's a need you will get beyond?
• UKGuy

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  To alleviate loneliness, keep busy, that way you won't have time to think about it. Loneliness seems to afflict people who have nothing to do except dwell on their own feelings. Other people should not replace what is missing in yourself, they should only add to what you already have.
• PhilosophyL (deleted user)

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  I respectfully disagree, UKGuy. If people are just icing on an already full life, that implies to me that they are interchangeable, largely inconsequential, and generally unimportant. I suspect that's become a popularized perspective adopted as a defense mechanism against being surrounded by people and yet wanting to connect.

  By no means am I suggesting anyone be indiscriminate, but it's hard not to view your perspective as lacking any depth. So many artists and thinkers across time have taken effort to personify the best parts of connecting with another. Were they all mentally ill or hopelessly naive? Because it seems to me we're getting worse as a culture, and I don't think it's because we are more connected, but less than ever.
• TheFunCartel

  October 2019

  @PhilosophyL I agree and you saved me from writing a lengthy retort to the “keep busy and you won’t be lonely” post.
• PhilosophyL (deleted user)

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  and more to all who seek it.
• cuddlerforu24

  October 2019

  I just pick up the guitar and strum “ oh lonesome me “ by Neil young .

  There’s a few other songs too
• Bles (deleted user)

  October 2019

  Never ever engage in an interaction to cuddle with someone who agitates your loneliness. Whilst you keep your mind busy with activity that keeps you going 16 -24 hours a day you always need to relate to different people. Different people fill different needs in your life. Cuddling is but one of them. It's just too bad that for such an intimate activity people treat one another with such deep human disdain. Like if you address someone by their given name you lose your freedom to be an independent happy person. That it takes away your power to just be who you need to be. It's terrible that you're arranging to cuddle with someone and you can't even address them by their given name. You can't even have a normal real back and forth conversation with them. It's so sad that your humanity is given such scant regard that you don't even deserve to be greeted. You are just another human transaction. A social exchange just like a cell phone number or an address. That sort of behavior is very alienating to a person. If you already have a very busy existence of constantly doing stuff for others but having no real connection with anyone and you deal with individuals who display such inhumane uncivil behavior then how is a person supposed to feel? And when you move on with the spirit that the next one will be better and you get the same impersonal, dehumanizing treatment then what? Animals may be a better option in the 22 nd century.
• MostlyArmless

  October 2019

  A lot of questions in the original post @Bles. So I'll ramble.

  I don't think lonely people should be limited from cuddling, as they/we are in need of it more than those like UKguy who it may just be an extra benefit to them (please correct if incorrect). Boredom and loneliness are different. But managing might have similar methods of dealing. Keeping busy with people instead of hobbies.
  And the truth is different people have different sensitivities which makes managing specific to individuals.
  Weighted / extra blankets and pillows can help sometimes, warm beverages and soup dishes can provide a minor boost imo. But being lonely requires other people to 'see' you, and that comes down to your social situations and groups. Gotta make yourself reach out more to people you find interesting.