LOOKS:Interesting I am heterosexual woman and I am finding more and more that looks don’t matter for a cuddle buddy.The way my partner feels does. I use to think the way he looks would translate to how he touches me and physically feels when I hold him but was not always true.The person can be beautiful and still be judgmental, awkward, physically tense so that they can’t relax into a position, or just not as open they think they are. You think ok he is just going to touch my arm but not all touches are the same. Some can be feather light with the tips of their fingers like a caress versus a thump and pressure. Some maneuver by gliding, smoothly and others there is a abruptness and jarring. It is not enough for one to be satisfied but a great cuddle session really takes two. Any unpleasantness I can usually help in subtle ways so that the cuddling is better for both. I would never assume it’s going to be one or the other based on looks. What you say and do matters more. AGREE MOSTLY but personally after u look at my profile and ask to cuddle based on whatever: For me the basic profile has to be filled out. When its not it gives me a feeling that this person wants sex, does not have any time, or don’t care all of which contributes to a less than satisfying cuddle session. Also if there is an agreement on what is okay and understand what makes the other uncomfortable. He has questions for clarity and/or is telling me his preference so we can talk about it. At the end of the online conversation we meet. LoL the guy usually ask me again what I said was ok but I like that😉 Been lucky, with some really great cuddle sessions.
@hogboblin @DarrenWalker wow alot of hate from you guys lol sorry I bug you guys, I speak my mind even if haters cant handle it lol @DarrenWalker please dont assume what I mean, I can pick who i want to cuddle anyway I want, Dont Shame me
-dont hate me for my opinion-
@cuddlerforu24 @FunCartel thank you for seeing though their HATE and shaming me
Hey, good morning, people!
Thanks, @Sashamcgee. I appreciate you, too. :-)
@cuddlerforu24 asks, "Why are you singling [Navyman1010] out for criticism?"
Answer: Because I'm familiar enough with @Navyman1010 to be reasonably sure that when he says "attracted" he means "sexually attracted." How did I get this impression from him? Well....
Poster asks, "Is it really possible to cuddle somebody without creating a bit of sexual tension and attraction?" Navyman1010 answers, "Huuuuhhhh NO"
On another thread, he says, "st8 guys dont cuddle with dudes just to cuddle lol theres too many women out there"
As I explained at the time, "'Why would a straight guy (cuddle) with another guy when there are plenty of women?' ...The premise for this question is as messed up as all get-out."
@DarrenWalker are you kidding me, get a life, you are singling me out and shaming me, we have issues everytime I'm on here
@Navyman1010: ...You're feeling shame?
I don't wanna single somebody out for saying they've got to be attracted to their buddy unless I'm reasonably sure they mean sexually attracted. You, @Navyman1010, I can be reasonably sure about. That's the only reason I'm tagging you in these posts where I point out that cuddling's a platonic thing, and sexual attraction shouldn't be involved.
Feel shame only if you believe that choosing a cuddle buddy on the basis of how sexy you think they are is a shameful thing.
Huh. I didn’t know that “shaming” entailed bringing up public statements that raise red flags, that call into question one’s character.
We learn new things every day.
-Don’t hate me for the absurdities I spew-
@hogboblin @DarrenWalker you guys are both cuddle shamers and you should be ashamed of yourselves and your behavior
@SoulcuddlerZ Please close this thread before this gets worst
@Navyman1010: Cuddle shamer? Huh.
...Really not sure where I've told anybody they ought to be ashamed of themselves for liking a nice, platonic cuddle.
@Navyman1010
“Cuddle shamer”.
Sure beats being a fragile dudebro who develops a victim complex whenever someone brings up their history of saying messed up things*.
*This includes denigrating/patronizing comments directed at homosexuals, transgendered people, asexuals—pretty much anyone without three orifices and an adoration for “men old fashion men”.
Responding to the OP's question- 1- location. If they are close enough, I usually send a greeting message. 2- Response- Do they send a response? If they do, that means they, at minimum, did not find anything repulsive/ offensive in my profile. (Maybe they even saw something they liked?!) 3. - "Virtual personality" Do we seem to get along? Does she understand my sense of humor? (That one is important. I use sarcasm and word puns as an art form. If I have to explain every other comment, it's a no-go.)
How about things we don't want to see in a potential female cuddler? 1.- Minimalism in their profile. I don't need a pic, but at least share a statement about yourself, or say where you are from. 2- Persistent negativity. I get it that people have bad days, or bad weeks. Or even that some bad stuff in your life is what led you here. But every conversation doesn't have to be about how today is worse than yesterday. 3- No interests or hobbies. If you have nothing that you are passionate about, chances are your cuddling will be static and uncreative.
I choose a woman or cuddle buddy in general based on connection. Connection meaning personalities clicking, similar values, interests and expectations. The next steps are to schedule a meet up and if all goes well cuddling happens.
If it is okay to ask this here, to go a little further, once one chooses a woman to cuddle with, finds her, resonates with her, then what? How does one proceed usually? Any advice, suggestions, thoughts on this.
This is embarrassing, but i found one i was interested in and messaged her and asked where she lives, the main cross streets in the area, so i get a better idea of the area. I also asked how long she has been doing this. Both of my questions were sincere and wanting to know a answer. I live 45 min from Phoenix and Phoenix is a big city with some areas i dont care to go in, hence why i asked for more specifics, and i have seen on some Pros profiles they list the intersections they are near, the main streets so people know, have a idea the area. She did not like my questions and thought it was a red flag what i asked. It killed the mood of wanting to do a session with her.
So even when you find the right one to cuddle with, you think you have, it can go astray quickly after that once you contact them, haha. At least in my case. So if anyone wants to share, any advice on how to proceed with the messaging. Do you go real slow? Do you try to set up a session immediately? Do you have to talk beforehand? I have no clue and learning as i go along on this site.
@dharma1257 - you omitted to share if this was a pro or a non-pro. I think the way you would proceed in each case would be totally different.
Sorry she was a pro. And yes, one would probably proceed differently if it was a non pro.
@dharma1257 Those seem like reasonable questions. I wouldn't mind giving out that info to a prospective client but everyone is different. She may have had a bad experience with a stalker n be a little sensitive to giving out location info too soon, especially if she hosts at her house.
@MissX, yes, thank you. I agree she might have had a bad experience in the past or fear of something like that happening. But unfortunately i am sensitive too, and that response hurt me, shocked me. It ruined the whole mood and connection. Like i said, i have seen other pros in the Phoenix area share the streets they are by. Phoenix is a big city, you can hang out at a intersection listed for a hundred years and still not see this person. It is a unrealistic fear. If she read my profile she would see i am very spiritual and integrous and as far as things goes, am one of the best clients she would ever have, in the sense of safety, respect, and caring.
The end result was i sent another follow up email explaining why i asked again. To be fair, she did reply it would be better to ask for a landmark or area. I respect that and will learn from that. However, it ended all conversation with her, she did not offer any info on area or landmark and said she is far from where i live. She never answered how long she is doing this. This is my first experience with a pro and it already scarred me, hurt me. But i am learning from all of these experiences. And hence why i asked how to proceed, from those with more experience, so as not to hurt others or myself in this process of learning.
I look for someone I think is sincere. If someone is charging over $100 an hour just to cuddle to tend to think it's either nothing more then a job or suggest something more then cuddling. - not that anything is wrong with that, just my personal viewpoint as messed up as it might sound.
@dharma1257 Is that the only question you asked? How did you word other messages? Women have more to fear from us than vice versa and every woman has their red flags and triggers. Sounds like you hit on a few. I would not take it personally and move on. They are not obligated to cuddle you.
But if you asked for their address, that is a no-no for a lot of ladies until they are ready to give it to you. If I am going to them (rare), I ask what area of town and I have never had anyone respond adversely because it is a generalized question. You need to keep in mind that they are dealing with someone who they do not know with an agenda they do not know for certain is in accordance with the TOS here. A little empathy when asking questions goes a long way in establishing trust.
@FunCartel i am learning what to do and what not to do on this site, it is a learning process. I see another thread started now about stalking and harrassment, so i guess it is real stuff, and that is scary. I feel for those who are affected by that and can see now some of the reasons for being careful.
I did not ask for her address, just main streets near her, so i could see what area she is in. In retrospect, the best way to do this is to ask for "what area of town she is in" rather than what streets she is by, but in my mind they are similar. And as i pointed out, some Pros list the main streets they are by, for as i said, Phoenix is a big city and there are certain areas i dont want to drive to, to be honest and also some areas are farther away than others, i live like 45 minutes from Phoenix. Anyways, the other question i asked was how long have you been doing this. Neither question was answered.
The end result is i have learned from this and have moved on and am not taking it personally. Thanks again for sharing.
I love these! I agree with @littermate ! Well put! 🤗
They answer.
Thanks @SoftPetals you hunk of warm loveliness you.
@littermate ☺ 🤗
I first make sure that the service she offers is platonic. Avoid profiles that look suspicious. That’s what I do.
@SoftPetals
What I’ve learned, and i hope you guys appreciate this, but ears the longer the better. When finding a cuddle partner i specifically look for long floppy ears. No gauges tho just naturally long ears, gauged ears seem so pretentious.
I hope you folks realize I’m joking.
I feel that it's ok to be picky about what cuddler you choose to cuddle with. Like me myself I'm 55 years old and some people think its wrong to cuddle a young lady, but I'm paying for this, would you prefer to pay for a 60 year old cuddler or a 25 year old cuddler? Dosen't make you a pervert. You pay, you choose.