@DonLonG ... you are awesome!
The website already has a place that’s ask body size
I nominate @DonLonG for the 2019 Cuddly Awards (Best Forum Newcomer)
@Catloaf: I second that nomination. (And best of all for us lazy, unPhotoshop-skilled forum-goers, @DonLonG can create his own Best Forum Newcomer award—and do a much better job of it than probably anyone else here.)
If whether they want to cuddle with me or not is dependent on them getting a full body pic, then they don't fit the criteria of the kind of person I want to cuddle with. Someone else might feel differently.
@DonLonG "Here's a full-body picture of me in my cuddle space. It has a privacy curtain, its obviously clean, and has safety rails. Meets all your requirements."
Perfect!
@DarrenWalker _ " Because way too often "I just wanna know what your whole body looks like" is code for "I just wanna know if I'd like to bang you." That's why. _
Egggsactly.
@2dogmom we will need a bigger tub 😉
I have a full body pic on my profile. I feel if someone is paying to cuddle with me they should know I’m cuddly and squishy! lol. I think in cuddling this is a good thing. Some people may not feel as great about my squishiness as I do so if that’s the case they can use that info to find someone who better suits their needs.
@Karibaby831 I feel the same way.
I also see that my comment about "sexy body pillows" was misconstrued as an attack on attractive women. No, that was an attack against people who come here seeking people for reasons that read to me as basally carnal.
Obviously somebody's body type can play a role in whether or not they get hired or chosen for reasons other than attraction. If that's a point of contention, clients are free to ask me what kind of body I have or if I have a full body photo, and I will always give an honest answer or representation. I have nothing to hide, no shame or confidence issues in this line of work, I'm just not looking to attract the people who are evidently after a quasi-sexual experience. If there's another cuddler offering what you want, there is no need to continue huffing and puffing in front of the lemonade stands of others about how you can take your money elsewhere. We've got it, thanks! You can continue your pursuit for whatever it is you like, and I will continue to hold out for the small circle of people remaining who genuinely need a space of acceptance and comfort. The implied cut to business because of my refusal to post a full body image doesn't hurt me, since I don't need to rely on this to pay for my bills (I've a day job for that).
@Catloaf , I genuinely belong to that circle you're talking about! I'm not on this site in search of any sort of activities other than what the site advertise and stands for, as you assume/accuse me of . I'm glad you clarified the sexy pillow statement you made , because that's not how it sounded at all , at least I'm speaking for myself , even though I'm not the only one who took it the same way.
The , genuinely trying to help someone "phrase " it's completely obsolete when I see that you charge to help and the answer is NO !! When one compare a cuddling service to the one of a true certified / verified therapist who has been through college for a proper training/education to finally become a CERTIFIED PROFESSIONAL on any field . if you like to believe in the fantasy that you're genuinely helping someone " for a fee "? Well... keep on believing it but in reality youare not . Because there is a difference between free and fee , free it's genuinely helping , when For a fee it's profiting from one's needs . Both can be interpreted as helping , but only one is genuinely helping. I know first hand what it's like to help a total stranger without expecting a monetary compensation in return for the amount of time and money that I spend , for example , me and 4 of my business associates have open the doors to a Rehabilitation Center in the community were I live, and it's 100% free of charge to all the individuals who need/seek help , I also volunteer 2 hrs of my time per day every day . Let that sink in for a minute before you comeback with unfounded accusations or assumptions about myself.
My intention is not to offend anyone with my comment, and that's the reason why I 99.9% of the time remain silent , there's always 2 sides to a story and I agree, but there's only one truth and it often hurts .
PS . I love your extent vocabulary and the use of words .
Alright, there's quite a bit to unpack here. I'll be gentle.
I genuinely belong to that circle you're talking about! I'm not on this site in search of any sort of activities other than what the site advertise and stands for, as you assume/accuse me of . I'm glad you clarified the sexy pillow statement...
That's great. But I didn't accuse you of anything, anywhere, sir. You misinterpreted my statement, I clarified it. Addressing the general forum populace, I said that if someone does not offer what a person wants, or conducts business in a way that they see as unbecoming (in this case the person does not post a full body image), they are free to look elsewhere. I made reference to the comments made...not you, personally. Had I been talking about you, specifically, I likely would have tagged you.
The , genuinely trying to help someone "phrase " it's completely obsolete when I see that you charge to help and the answer is NO !!
The answer is only "no" when it's made clear to me that someone is a) playing games b) a known abusive client or c) has no respect for the professional's boundaries. I do not discriminate against clients on the basis of protected classes, however I can make a choice to say "no" if I believe that this client and I are not on the same page. And with all of the miseducation about professional cuddling, that is rather often. As for the rest of your comment...isn't that more of an assumption than anything? You don't know me and I don't know you, but your resumé of good deeds while impressive and proving of character to some, does nothing to convince me that you are more "genuinely helpful" than I. I believe in the following phrase: "Climb the mountain, tell no one." I do regularly volunteer with schools and organisations in my hometown though. I give away plenty of my time for free as a professional cuddler. I have been on the line with a client who contemplated hurting himself. I've sent birthday cards to older ones who live alone. But even so, these things will not attest to what kind of person or cuddler I am either, so it's a moot point.
When one compare a cuddling service to the one of a true certified / verified therapist who has been through college for a proper training/education to finally become a CERTIFIED PROFESSIONAL on any field . if you like to believe in the fantasy that you're genuinely helping someone " for a fee "? Well... keep on believing it but in reality youare not
Let that sink in for a minute before you comeback with unfounded accusations or assumptions about myself [...] there's always 2 sides to a story and I agree, but there's only one truth and it often hurts .
In a world like the cuddling community, there are as many truths as there are people. Each truth is okay, in and of itself, but there are some "truths" I choose not to work with, for reasons I've already beat to death in here. My suggestion would be to not directly assume the truth of others, and not to take my comments so personally (unless I tagged you, personally).
VROOM VROOM.
@Catloaf I am not misconstruing anything. When I first discovered that I was a “sexy body pillow” it all made sense. My sexiness was so overpowering and intoxicating to the ladies on the site that it explained why they did not return my messages, why they did not ask for inappropriate pics and why none offered to pay me for cuddles. Extreme sexiness is intimidating to others. It is a curse that has turned me into a true living Byronic hero—tortured for the sin of being a sexy body pillow. Few others can sympathize let alone empathize. If you are a person of faith please pray to God to help me bear this metaphorical cross of sexual magnetism.
@FunCartel The answer you seek is very simple, and no prayers are needed. God is a sexy body pillow. He simply crafted you in His image. People are generally afraid to come to God... thus, they are also afraid to come to you.
...Are you there, God? It's me, Cuddlegal69.
@Catloaf so that's why the clouds look like one giant mattress topper
I appreciate the responses regarding this. In regards to the reg flag -- that's what jumped out at me. When I called him out on it in detail regarding the boundary issue and that he would make a better decision_** when we meet in person**_. I was being more than fair myself and encouraging him to be more reasonable with my concern. He sounded like someone off of Craigslist, which I told him so. I stuck to my guns with the proverbial bullet in the chamber so to speak.
He did not like my stance about it , his response was that the way I explained it to him, was like talking to a lawyer -- when I told him that he should lean more toward compassion and respect than the argument of 'logic'. Yes, I gave him the riot act because he kept trying to press me for a pic.
I told him that I'm no longer obligated to respond to him after that... and it worked, no more red flags.
@calineur, I think that this desire for the body shape view prior to meeting in person seems like a male behavior entitlement trait, based on my personal experiences and observations.
There are people who do pic collections and not want to meet the person. So, if he was serious about meeting me, my face pic is good enough until we meet face to face and he should have been patient. Furthermore, there's no way to guarantee a positive personality match with a full pic prior to meeting or not. Besides, I have the right to reveal as much or as little at my own pace and comfort. On that level, it's my way or the highway.
Btw all, I'm not a pro cuddler and it was very early in the conversation that he requested a full body pic, he "wanted to see if we were compatible" is the best I can remember. No discussion of likes, dislikes or pet peeves yet , which was why I as thinking, wth?
I was so livid at his inattentiveness in finding availability as well I would tell him my schedule but he kept insisting the same hours that clashed with it and pretended to misunderstand. I hate that stuff. I had blocked him anyway so I got what I wanted, to be left alone with the repeated sideways requests for it from questionable folk. I do not have a full body pic on my profile . When meeting anyone, I always go out in a public place first anyway.
@hitmanboss -- about pros being encouraged to send a full body pic. .. about body size mattering, Isn't the info in the pro's profile and meeting in person enough, or is every man out for the woman who is smaller than an XL body? I wanna know. People should be honest with their profiles outright. Everyone has the right to choose, ask questions, set their standards and not have their boundaries challenged and pushed, I get that. If some men in general are just for the eye candy to cuddle with for free, then I can understand why pros are encouraged to charge.
I never heard of pros being required to send a pic of the cuddle space prior to meeting, interesting. I guess it's like when you go to a spa and they show pics of the space prior, ok.
I saw the other pic of the guy in the pic with a bathroom being a cuddle space, LOL! wild, though!
It depends on the general interaction I have with that person. If I put in my profile that I will only send pictures after I've had a few phone ear to ear conversations with you and you ask before that happens then it's no. But if we have been talking and we vibe with each other. Absolutely. It all depends on how I guage your intentions when I vibe with you too.
I agree that it shouldn't matter. I would probably send one if asked.
I would only send a pic if Im comfortable after some time getting to know the person or at least had a few cuddles. I wont send a pic to a right out the gate pushy person thats just me.
Call me old school, but well placed fig leaves are a must for a full body pic.
http://getdrawings.com/fig-leaf-drawing#fig-leaf-drawing-13.jpg
I had someone ask me for a full body picture because he'd had an awkward incident with a very very large person who didn't fit on his couch but advertised herself as more fit. Apparently she had tricky pictures that fooled him and he wasn't so into snuggling with that large a woman. I sent it because it felt okay to.
@pilson I mentioned this because this happened from get-go, full body pic before finding out anything about each other, Not looking for long drawn-out convo, but that part seems odd to me. I thought initial rapport is important.@DarrenWalker - there are people who collect pics and ghost right after that. I don't mind showing the space or the body pic, but after the rapport has been established, obviously it would have to be done rather quickly. To those of the opinion that I have ulterior motives, understand this: people who do not wish to establish rapport by being pushy or rushing the other person (or being crude) are the ones with the ulterior motives.
@rheaah: I think I might be misreading you. People who don't want to establish rapport—which is apparently established by being pushy or rushing the other person (or being crude)—are the ones with the ulterior motives?
I'm guessing you meant "people who show, by being pushy or rushing the other person (or being crude), that they do not wish to establish rapport... those are the ones with the ulterior motives." But I'm not real sure, because you also seem to be saying that it's obvious pics of cuddle spaces or full-body photos would have to be shown rather quickly after rapport's been established—and that doesn't seem obvious to me at all.
Edit: I have no confidence in my ability to understand your writing.
To answer the question if I have ever cuddled with anyone who didn’t have pictures, I actually do pretty often. i never mind sending a photo (though I have pretty accurate photos on my profile) long as it’s not a request for a more skin revealing photo or nude of course
I wouldn’t ask for one ever , I’m more concerned with details on her profile (pics can be misleading) in soo many ways