Oh the price of living true.
@littermate I think one difference is that if you told a pro she had a beautiful smile you'd do it because you meant it. If you told a non pro it is because her smile is OK but you want to meet her.
It's almost as if those women are as insecure and wobbly as you are!
I personally would not falsify my perceptions to purchase anything. At the end of the day, my relationship to myself and my own integrity kicks ass on getting close to anyone's body, especially the bodies of people I'd have to lie to for the privilege.
I get it though and this is the beauty of a pro. Minimal drama... straightforward exchange. The psychological mine field between the genders is enough to make the most hardy among us hide under our beds. If you can skip over most of that for a good cuddle with a few bucks, why not.
@notcuddledyet Hmmm. If compliments are a female’s enthusiasts currency, then males having their ego stroked or using their sense of entitlement is a male enthusiasts’ currency.
Who needs all those head games. The most honest way is paying a pro. No games. The pro is there for money. The client is there for touch.
P. S. Men dramatically outnumber women on this site.
@DonLonG once again cracking me up.
@snugbuddy "Who needs all those head games. The most honest way is paying a pro. No games. "
I hate to be kind of repeating myself, but if you think there's no games with pros, I suspect you haven't seen many pros.
@Mbo. I went back and read your post from earlier. You are right I haven't met many pros at least on this website. I met more years ago from other sites. Those sites had other people besides the cuddler handling the arrangements so the communication part beforehand with the cuddler didn't apply. As far as this site most of what you say has to do with before meeting up. I've experienced some of that. If I do I figure it was good we didn't meet anyway and I saved my money to cuddle with someone else. The initial meet I always schedule an hour. So if there are negative issues I'm not losing much. If it's someone I like being with I'll see them again for longer sessions.
Its really as simple as this. If an average girl asks a random hetero male to cuddle there is a very strong likelihood he would be open to the idea. But flip that around and you would have a tough time unless you looked like Brad Pitt to get random women to cuddle with you. This is well known and obvious. Which is why this question asking why they charge is a very easily answered question.
In essence , everyone is bringing something to the table ... safety , something in common , attraction , ( discussion forum representation..lol )whatever. Two enthusiasts , they , like each other . So , if someone lacks something the other is attracted to ,if there is an imbalance , let him or her bring some money to the cuddle . Fair trade . Yeah , there are those out there who claim it should be free all around , I think at least there’s a bit more love spread around , as opposed to no such thing as paid cuddling .
For me paid cuddling is a good, alternate, option. If the person has been on the website for a long time and haven't been able to meet up for free, or is afraid of rejection, or if they are uncomfortable speaking to random people, etc., there is an option for them.
"P. S. Men dramatically outnumber women on this site."
There is a disproportionate of men on this site, but if that number is 10:1, 20:1, etc... what % of men are actually paying pros; I'm guessing that 80% of the business/money is from 20% of the men. I have no real reason to think that. If anything I just think it should be discussed because the ratio of men to women is always discussed as if that is the same ratio spending money.
@mb0 : Seriously I have had some good experiences on here, but I have also had some bad. I have learned that most professional cuddlers should not have pets. "My pet getting sick I had to take it to the vet" is the excuse I have heard most often. It always happens within 2 hours of the appointment starting as well. Or another favorite is "can we reschedule for....? If not, we can still do the appointment.(always said a few hours ahead....this seems to be usually related to a good friend's birthday. How good of friends? They didn't remember it was their birthday). This is such a dirty trick, as what can you say? Who wants to cuddle knowing someone doesn't want to be there?
If a pro attempts to reschedule before our first meeting I won't see them ever. Unless they give a lot of notice. It is really the consumer's best course of action. I don't want a free 15 minutes if you cancel and I have to pay 50% if you cancel.
Finally, most of my experiences on here have been good. Even the people that just turned pro are usually great. But when they are flaky, they are really flaky.
@melancholy not true for me. I'm not after Brad Pitts. You might be thinking like a guy - can I cuddle the most attractive one out there. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I'm after nice safe mature wholesome fellows. How they look is secondary. I only care so far as what their appearance tells me about their energy/ wholesomeness. It's much more about what they convey through their writing
@littermate I'd prefer someone worried about how they conveyed themselves to me then how I conveyed myself to them
I would just warn people paying for cuddling that not all pros are good and decent people. I thought I had found a pro that I was comfortable with. But she no show no called twice on a row and cancelled with less than 24 hours notice four other times. I met her 3 times and she cancelled 6 (two without notice). I was foolish to continue to let it get to that point. But with all the negative comments about men on this site I do want to stress there are cruel female cuddlers as well.
I like to think being a professional, we’re held to higher standards and we are to facilitate a safe session for the cuddler to their preference. Some pros may not have the training to do this effectively but I would hope they seek it out or seek to provide better cuddle satisfaction for all cuddlers who seek a session with them.
Also if a pro does not give you a satisfactory cuddle, please don’t hesitate to leave honest karma! I get disheartened when I hear folks having less than satisfying cuddles with other pros and I would hope the ones who are awful are reported as well to the admin. I’m sure they too would want to keep pro cuddlers that are providing good service.
@notcuddledyet you deserve that!
@StellaLiz i find it difficult to leave negative karma. It’s not like I’m reviewing an anonymous corporation; it's (unless it was a no-show) a person who I met and talked to and got to know a tiny bit.
I'm thinking of one pro in particular who was an hour late for our first session, which she made a bit weird in ways I won't mention here. She was difficult to schedule for our second session due to horrible communication on her part, and when we eventually did schedule it, she was two hours late. And for that session she asked to use my shower and kitchen, which kept her occupied for hours, and we didn't even cuddle. So, total disaster. But, she was in a way legitimately nice to me and made me feel decent about myself, and it was clear she was financially struggling and just kind of scatterbrained. In a tiny way we connected and I wanted things to work out for her.
So despite the fact that the sessions were just terrible, I couldn't bring myself to leave her the 1-star karma she deserved. I just didn't give her any karma at all. Maybe I'm a sap.
I agree with mb0 I avoided leaving negative Karma for similar reasons. Once I met a homeless drug addicted pro cuddler here as well. Her photos were not recent. I just didn’t rebook.
Some people perceive loneliness on here and see someone who needs a friend. For better or worse, pros perceive loneliness on here and see an opportunity to make money. That's the only difference. No arguments about professionalism or needing to pay the rent (get a real job).
But not every non-pro on here is lonely, that's just one of the reasons why people use this site. Some are just looking for platonic fun with a new and interesting person. Unfortunately some people on here (men & women) are almost certainly looking for something sexual (despite the rules).
I would hesitantly say that the people who use pros on here are the lonely ones, and ironically they are the ones who need non-pro attention the most.
@natural_oceans "Some people perceive loneliness on here and see someone who needs a friend. For better or worse, pros perceive loneliness on here and see an opportunity to make money... (get a real job)"
Look, I do feel some ambivalence about the existence of pro cuddling, so it's not that I don't understand at all where you're coming from... but honestly, get over yourself. Every business operates by fulfilling people's needs or wants in exchange for money. Disparaging a huge portion of the members of this site gets you nothing.
If all the pros here suddenly quit being pros, do you think their former clients would somehow have all their cuddle needs met for free?
@mb0 There are no free cuddles. You can pay cash or you can pay with spending time you could be earning cash but instead have to use it to write platitudes and compliments so the woman agrees to cuddle you. A woman can get a free cuddle, a gay man can get a free cuddle but a man wanting to cuddle a woman can't.
No one's disparaging anyone. I specifically said "For better or worse" to try and dissuade that idea. What I stated is a fact as I see it, if you disagree then say so and state your reasons, but don't accuse me of disparaging anyone when I'm not.
@natural_oceans sure it's all about an opportunity to make money. I'm not sure about the perceiving loneliness part. People out to make money in any business don't care why. They only care how much they can make. If someone is lonely and pays not to be lonely for a few hours and then goes home and is lonely again what's a pro care for or why should a pro care. They got their money and most likely aren't even thinking or caring about the clients once they leave. It's on to the next opportunity. I'm not saying this is true for all pros but in my experience over the years using various websites this is how I see it.
@natural_oceans Are you really trying to tell me that “get a real job” was not disparaging towards pro cuddlers?
@snugbuddy Good point, but that only makes them worse.
@mb0 I meant that they could always get a normal job, it's not like profiting from people's loneliness is there only choice to pay the bills.
Am I criticising pro-cuddlers? Certainly, but no more or less than I would criticise casino operators (gambling addiction), or porn distributors (porn addiction), or drug companies who sell life-saving medicines for 10,000 times what they cost to produce.
The definition of "disparage" is... "regard or represent as being of little worth"
..I would say that more adequately describes the way that the people listed above (including pro-cuddlers) treat the lonely and vulnerable of this world. And that's also true of the world that not only allows but actively encourages it. Sure you can wrap it up in comfortable terms like "capitalism" and "the American dream", but it's all just the powerful exploiting the vulnerable.
@natural_oceans
You: “I’m not disparaging them; I just think they’re exploiting lonely and vulnerable people. Also, I agree with the other guy that they don’t care about people.”
If you’re going to be negative and put people down, at the very least don’t pretend that that’s not what you’re doing.