https://www.japantimes.co.jp/life/2019/06/01/lifestyle/prison-inside-japans-hikikomori-lack-relationships-not-physical-spaces/#.XeKsaS2ZPPA
“In Japan, people who do things differently or who stand out are frowned upon, so people tend to hesitate before doing anything that will draw attention to themselves,” Saito says. “When people realize that they have become hikikomori, they know that society will think less of them, and they then fear that. The family thinks the same way. When they realize that their child doesn’t leave the house and doesn’t work, they try to hide them from society.”
^^^^ this sounds about right. Interesting read.
Yes it becomes a cycle. The deeper you go into it the harder it is for you to get out. I was listening to the audio recording on that site and there was a guy who studied law for 10 hours at home and found himself trapped and became a recluse instead. Same thing happened to me before as I was working remotely from home. So get out and meet people and socialize.
@alphares It is not mutually exclusive to be alone and content and interact with others. In fact, one can be alone and happy yet have a plethora of activities she or he is involved in that has s/he constantly interacting with people at all levels of communication.
One can be meeting and hanging out with people having fun in many social activities. Yet enjoy being with and by themselves. And be equally high functioning in each domain.
Self company and happiness is mutually inclusive with and of interpersonal interaction and bonding. One can enjoy both and live a fulfilling and complete life!
I volunteer at various levels of my community. I work two full time jobs. I visit my children at least once a week. And I do cuddle with folks on this site as my schedules allow. At times driving hours to meet total strangers! And I enjoy every minute I spend doing each of the above things.
But I am also alone. And I enjoy being alone. I enjoy my own company. As much as I enjoy the company of the people I meet in the community doing my various activities. Both are mutually inclusive.
@bless you are not alone. Alone Is when you lock yourself in a room and eat, sleep all day without ever interacting personally outside of your house or room for months.
I think we all sometimes need respite from the world, to just switch off, but not too much. The trick is to do everything in moderation ; except moderation, you can't have too much of that.
@alphares I've lived alone for almost ten years. I keep myself separate from all I choose to interact with at one time or another. That's one definition of being alone. Being physically separate and separated from another. Yours is another. One who chooses to be a recluse. That is lock oneself away as if in self imposed solitary confinement.
Both scenarios define aloneness. Or being alone.
There are hikikomori who run home businesses over the internet. These days it's perfectly possible to be a social recluse in person and a social butterfly online—so long as you have enough human interaction to keep you happy and healthy (and you're not causing problems for those around you), I figure it's all good.
Sounds like these hikikomori are pretty thoroughly cut off from everyone but their families, though... and more to the point, they don't seem happy about it.
So I'd say: if you're not happy being a hikikomori, go out in person or online, whichever makes you happiest, and interact with people! And if you are happy being a social recluse? Keep it up. And whether you're happiest curled up at home with a book or laughing with a group out of doors, always make sure you don't get so carried away with your own contentment that you cause problems for other people.
That's one of the more important rules for survival in this human society that stocks your stores and so on.