Unfortunately we live in a world where loneliness for whatever reason is common place. And it is cause for much discontent and unhappiness.
Fortunately, there a few among us that are alone for whatever reason. Yet are very content and happy.
One can be physically alone. One can be emotionally alone. One can be in a long term relationship and be alone.
To be alone is to be physically or emotionally separate from another. For example, two married people living and /or sleeping in separate rooms or sections of the same house.
To be lonely is to feel separated from another. To feel a sense of disconnection from another .
What is most important to me is that one is comfortable with and happy to be alone. One feels content in his or her separateness from others. And is actively engaged in doing the things on his or her own terms that bring joy and happiness to him or her.
I am alone. Before I walked away from my long-term relationship I lived physically and emotionally separate from my ex. I began the long arduous process of building self contentment by being mindfully observant of everything I did and felt. I lived like that for several years. It was painful. But I felt rewarded in later years as I gradually felt more comfortable being with myself.
I am content and happy. When I finally found the courage to walk away and build myself on my own, I began to count my blessings. Day by day with each count I gradually stacked my piggy bank with coins of content.
I thanked myself for being me. For appreciating others. For feeling hurt. For feeling better. For giving. I thanked others. For their criticism. For their love and understanding. For just being there when I needed them. For being mad at me. For just being themselves. I thanked the universe for life. For health. For strength.
Something happened over time. I felt less angry. I felt more open. I felt at peace. I felt more empathy toward others. I felt more motivated to try new things. To meet new people. To just be.
And today I totally enjoy being alone. I cherish having the mental muscle to listen to my gut, sit with the emotions it's throwing at me and process each in it's own unique context. I treasure being able to do the above and still show compassion to myself.
Do I fall short sometimes? Sure. Do I tear my self up with negativity at times? You bet! Do I still beat myself down with my mistakes and shortcomings? Absolutely!
I just keep going. I do not let it become me. And when I run out of coins to bless myself with. I throw both my arms around my shoulders and hug myself. I move those fingers down my neck and upper back. I switch my arms to my torso and hug and massage my rib cages and lower back. Yes I cuddle myself. And I absolutely love it!
It's my go to when I have no one to cuddle. After all why not ? I am my own best friend. I've come to appreciate her more than ever. She is always with me. She is free of cost. She doesn't shame me. She encourages and motivates me. She's my only constant. Always!
Because of her, my ever loving caring self, unconditionally my agape, I am alone yet content and happy!
And I will add that my being alone and content does not exclude the people I meet everyday. The people I volunteer with. The people I hang out with. The folks whose connection I treasure. I just don't need them to feel good. I don't need to feed off their energy to live. I don't need their validation.
I am enough. I'm happy and content to spend time with me and just be!