New here....

New here and as a petite female Im surprised at the creapy-ness level of some of the messages I've gotten from Men. Wondering if changing my profile to women only would help. I don't mind cuddling Men or Women but think it may be a safer bet?? Thoughts? Do any other women feel the same way? Has anyone else done the same thing?


  • The body type has nothing to do with the kind of messages you will receive. You just have to learn to screen every person you talk to until you find a respectful one. There are plenty of good cuddlers out there but there are also plenty of creeps too. For every creep that says something inappropriate, on their profile is a box with three dots. Click that and then click report. The moderators here are pretty good with banning creeps. As soon as someone asks you something gross or sexual, report them.

    Probably would help to write something in your profile about yourself and how you don’t tolerate creeps or non-platonic behaviour.

  • Dear friend, sorry to hear about your bad experiences. By this time you would have probably received atleast 50 messages or even more. Please take your time to respond back. Usually the new female cuddlers gets a lot of attention and the attention reduces over time.

    As in all other platforms, even CC has lots of creepy guys. If someone is being too creepy, please block them immediately and also report them. CC admins are very proactive in that aspects, they would be removed immediately. Welcome to CC and have a good time

  • edited January 24

    Hi Stacel, sorry you are getting creepy messages. :( I would encourage you to fill out your profile with some text, such as about your personality, interests, or experiences with cuddling. It's hard to non-creepily message someone off of their age, gender, height, etc. :) I'm a guy so I don't know exactly what kinds of messages you are getting, but I have a female friend on here who tells me about her experiences sometimes. I'm not sure there's much you can do, besides not answering, or maybe changing your profile as you suggest.

    There are fantastic cuddle parties here in the South Bay! I recommend going to Autumn's in Sunnyvale or Mara's in Hayward as they are gender-balanced and have a very comfy vibe IMO. Cathy's in San Jose is a bit larger and not gender-balanced, but still very positive. I met the co-creator of Cuddle Party, Reid, at Cathy's a few months ago, and shook his hand and said thank you, haha.

  • edited January 24

    Agree with Jagan 100%. But please don't give up on guys, some of us are genuine, respectful, & truely seeking the kind of special friendships this site is trying to promote. Look for "star" ratings & good karma, these are the people who've had positive feedback from people who've cuddled with them. See if they've posted additional pics (>) that will give u additional insite. Also, please be open to widening your age search to include those who have a few years on you. You may find more genuine guys looking for a special friendship only. And don't worry too much about common interests. I've found the most relaxing cuddling when both can quietly sooth each other without much talk. I've been lucky to have found several such friendships, on this site & elsewhere. Hang in there, when u find the right guy you'll be amazed that such a plutonic friendship is possible based on trust, respect, & a shared need for soothing & total relaxation.

  • Look at it this way. People are making it easy for you to weed them out and maybe giving you an idea of what to look out for. The internet is a creepy place, nothing you can do about it, just navigate it.

  • Lots on other threads about this too, including tips for screening and staying safe.

  • You just report people that act like that. It has more to do with just being female over anything and I suppose lots of women are creepy too.

  • @Stacel
    I see you've gone for women only, which is OK, just a pity that you find that necessary.
    Another thought might be to try "non-contact" public cuddling i.e. just meeting to talk. Sometimes that is valuable enough for both parties. Sex is a strong boundary for many people ; but I feel that physical contact is a strong boundary too, and although the site is "cuddle" comfort, I don't think there should be any obligation ( certainly not from a non-pro ) that any meeting will have contact.
    For instance, if I were meeting a non-pro who became uncertain about physically contacting me at a planned meeting, I'd much rather they turned up anyway. Simply being the physically closest person to someone else is a "win" for me, like the game of bowls.
    Maybe someone should arrange "non-cuddle" parties, akin to speed-dating, to give people just that first step. Few people want to join a gym where they must bench press 100 pounds every time, even on the first visit.

    It's like fishing. Guys generally have to hire a boat and sail for days with a hook trailing hopefully in the sea, while most girls just sit on a pier and have to kick off the hundreds of inappropriate fish that jump up flapping next to them. I don't know which is easier ; or which I'd prefer.

  • edited January 25

    @Stacel - Why don't you fill out your profile and specify the kinds of behavior you find unacceptable?
    You could also put something like "Non-respectful messages will not be responded to".
    By specifying you cuddle only women, you reduce your cuddling possibiliies enormously since there are far more men on this site than women. And there is no guarantee you won't get sexual advances from women; there are lots of gay women on this site. There are also lots of decent men here but you do have to weed out the bad ones to find them.

  • New here too! ;)

  • Question, do all women get creepy advances, even when there is no profile pic?

  • @BashfulLoner I don't know for sure but I am going with "yes" but maybe more if you have photos.

  • @Stacel: While gender (male, female, non-binary) won't guarantee you avoid creepiness, looking for ace folks (of any gender) might do it. On the "Search Cuddlers" page you can filter by orientation—try looking for asexuals! That ought to cut way down on the sexual creepiness factor.

  • [Deleted User]IvanTokodol (deleted user)

    In July when I first dipped my toes into this site I left a half dozen or so messages to women. I didn’t talk about anything except greeting them and trying to introduce myself. One woman responded and was nice about it. She suggested to me to try a pro. At the time I was put off enough to close up the account. I eventually returned and went right to a couple pros and I don’t really expect to try bothering with non-pros anymore. It’s a disappointing situation but there it is. I’m actually pretty enthused with the pros I’ve met. Retirement is going to be delayed but carpe diem.

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