What do you need, beyond cuddling?

BeyondCuddlesBeyondCuddles
in General

I’m working on a project and am so curious for your input.

Cuddling is all about touch, of course!

Yet in the world of covid, it’s a lot more difficult to cuddle safely.

I’m realizing that when we cuddle, it’s to meet more needs than just physical intimacy.

I’d love to know, what’s the draw for you, beyond cuddling itself?

Comments

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    An emotional connection and mental stimulation...

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    My feeling is that cuddling intrinsically involves an emotional connection and mental stimulation. If I just want human touch, I can get on a crowded train.

  • Brant76Brant76

    While we need, and many of us don’t get enough physical touch, when there can be a meaningful connection (not meaning romantic here) it makes the cuddling that much more beneficial for both parties. We don’t get enough physical as humans, and the way our society is now we are very disconnected from each other emotionally and COVID has made most of us even more isolated.

  • [Deleted User]SociallyAwkward (deleted user)

    A hug.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I don’t think we have enough healthy debates in conversation, where you can speak your peace. Depending on the topic, it’s so hard to speak that peace without getting attacked. I feel that conversations could be so much more intellectual and diverse if we could steer clear of hurling insults if someone says something we don’t like.

  • gestaltgestalt

    Trust

  • ScrantonCuddlerScrantonCuddler

    Feeling desired or valued. For me, I’ve spent the last four years completely alone. No dates, no friends, nothing. So if someone felt I was worth meeting and cuddling, it would mean the world to me because I don’t have to pay them to spend that time with me and exchange physical touch.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Well said @quixotic_life !!! I think the initial connection on here lets us get a feel of the emotional/mental/intellectual side of things. Then you get to see if you can enjoy the "touch" connection that is MORE than a crowded train like @geoff1000 said. hahahhahaha ----a crowded train----- oh man. TRUTH!

  • geoff1000geoff1000
    edited September 2020

    Think of a cuddle as like a Big Mac. It comprises : Sliced Bun, Beef Patty, Lettuce, Big Mac Sauce, Sliced Cheese, Pickle Slices, Onions.

    No-one would ask "What would you want of a Big Mac, in addition to the Beef Patty ?" Without at least some of those other ingredients, it isn't a Big Mac, it's just a beef patty. It has the basic nutrition, but it isn't very appealing.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited September 2020

    I need snacks . Preferably not.something fart inducing

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Snacks. ♥️💕💜

  • Kenshiro2020Kenshiro2020

    To Answer your question, in regards specifically to platonic cuddling, I would say the following:

    A good listener who knows that there's a time and place to offer advice, or an opinion/point of view.

    Emotional support.

    Rapport.

    Someone who doesn't play devil's advocate.

    And since I'm a believer, a soul to soul/heart to heart connection.

  • [Deleted User]APV (deleted user)
    edited September 2020

    @gestalt @ScrantonCuddler @Kenshiro2020 My needs beyond cuddling are all the ones the three of you stated combined. Certainly a good listener is important. Growing up I never had that.

    @ScrantonCuddler I can empathize with you about feeling completely alone. I've spend about the same length of time in a situation comparable to yours since the best friend I ever had in my chosen area was sicker than she ever told me she was and died at the ripe young age of 59.

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)

    I don't need anything from anyone that I can't give myself, honestly.

  • BeyondCuddlesBeyondCuddles

    Wow! Thanks for all these responses. I totally agree with you @quixotic_life and @geoff1000 - that emotional connection is crucial, and so is being mentally stimulated! Have you found anyone on here able to provide that for you? LOL do crowded trains even exist anymore? I love your Big Mac analogy too!!

    @Brant76 Meaningful connection is even more important now that most of us are more isolated than we've ever been. How have you been able to find that connection since the pandemic started?

    @SociallyAwkward awww yes hugs are the best!! When I cuddle in real life, I teach mindful hugging and it's one of the best things ever! Sometimes I do it with myself - just wrap my arms around myself, and take long, slow, deep breaths for about a minute and just feel my own warmth. Wish I could give you a hug!

    @Sheena123 amen to that! Now more than ever practicing civil, kind discourse is needed!

    @gestalt trust is so important! How does someone gain your trust?

    @ScrantonCuddler it sounds like you know what you want and need after having being alone for a while. Being desired and valued is an intrinsic part of being human, and you are absolutely worthy of love. Thank you for sharing where you're at, and I'm sending you good wishes to experience love and appreciation very soon.

    @sillysassy agreed!! hahaha

    @pmvines what's your favorite snack?! Right now, mine is lilikoi. Ever had it?

    @Kenshiro2020 wow yes all of those things are so important!! To me, the heart to heart connection is the most important thing because it helps me remember that I'm not alone, and gives me an opportunity to share those warm happy feelings with someone else.

    @APV well said! It's important to see what we missed as kids and realize how that informs how we act and what we need as adults. My mom never loved me unconditionally, and no matter how hard I tried, I was never enough for her. That led me down a spiritual path that helped me find the innate capacity I have to love everyone, so I thank her now, even though it was really hard growing up. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. It can leave you feeling like there's a hole in your heart that nothing can fill. What I've experienced is that when I let love come out of that hole instead of trying to fill it with food, sex or anything else, I feel the happiest.

    @Bles wow! I haven't gotten to that place yet. For me, I still need to feel connected, to experience shared reality, to be heard and to be able to practice listening, and to feel love from someone else as I give it to them.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @RamanAngel I've been hooked on cheese cheese discs , like cheese straws but better , as well as sweet potato chips!

  • [Deleted User]sweetfruitsnack (deleted user)

    Being held is the most beautiful feeling to me. It is especially great for those who never had it. It makes me feel like I'm worth being touched. I'm starving for arms to wrap around me. Forget gifts and though I love words, its touch that truly make me feel alive. Cuddling is such a wonderful thing!

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles
    edited September 2020

    I like cuddle with positive energy and openminded people. Feel accepted, cared about, taking turns supporting each other and offering support, are my needs besides just the physical connection of cuddling!😃🤗😎

  • Mike403Mike403

    A beer.

  • Cessna_guyCessna_guy

    Intelligent conversation is a big plus.

  • [Deleted User]verona (deleted user)

    Conversation, physical touch, emotional support. Just making a new friend.

  • parkwayvisualparkwayvisual

    A nice bowl of ice cream is always nice.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Great post !!!

    • to be vulnerable/ listened to/ feel cared for / appreciated
  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I 2nd everything @verona said!

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Hrm... beyond cuddling...? Acceptance ~ Having someone I can be my full-on, unfiltered, impulsive, dorky self around, and they'll still like me and want to snuggle with me.

    I also like a minimum of ¾ compatability in our sense of humor, media genres (music, movies, etc.), food and (of course) all things snuggle related. So I suppose a natural friendship &/or parallel fellow feeling (like a kinship of sorts) is pretty big to me too.

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