@quixotic_life Yeah, if it's too cold like that for too long then I'll start hoping for warmer weather. And if it's cold, I'd like to see some snow, at least occasionally. I think the weather we get in this area tends to be rwlatively mild though. If it's super cold, usually it's not for very long. It could be worse.
@quixotic_life Oh yes, I love those bow ties!!! They remind me of turning on my Lite Brite set when I was a kid. I’m concerned though, that if people saw me, they might only like me for my bow tie. I’d rather that they like me just for me 🤓.
@cualtzin ~ Only like you for your bow tie! Lol ~ Hardly!!! I believe they'll 'see' beyond it and will adore you for your illuminated being shining from within!! ☆
but trust your gut...
@quixotic_life You’re too kind ... But I like it! ☺️
Do not neglect the benefits of onanism.
Or 'Scenes We'd Like To See' from Mock the Week, available on Youtube.
But my go-to relaxation activity is to log on to Cuddle Comfort and write brief, polite, friendly, well-crafted opening messages to female cuddle enthusiasts in my area, secure in the knowledge that none of them will reply.
Lol @CuddleDuncan ~ but fyi ~ I'd reply 🙂
Aw, shucks ...
Shame we're umpteen thousand miles apart.
As The Doobie Brothers might recommend, I like to listen to the music.
The Doobie Brothers have done a few music recordings remotely while in covid lockdown, which I think is pretty cool. This is them playing "Listen To The Music" in lockdown: https://youtu.be/etGV7D3hYoY
(Also, I've seen people posting YouTube links here that you can play directly in the thread view here - I'm not sure how people are posting videos that way)
@FlyingToaster you just have have a return before -and- after the youtube link when including text...
Text
link
More Text
or - just paste the link with no text - you just need a full break between the link and the text.
@quixotic_life Ah, I see, thanks! Usually I had been posting links with the link button above the text box. I also looked in the help explaining markdown and didn't see it in there.
@CuddleDuncan: I still find it odd that it's called onanism when Onan's sin was pulling out so his brother's wife wouldn't conceive an heir and he'd get all his dead brother's stuff, leaving her destitute. See, that's a bad thing to do. The thing that bears his name today? Perfectly harmless!
And also relaxing. Though I prefer a nice mug of tea, an Agatha Christie, and maybe some Parma Violets (because I'm an old lady, I guess).
O.M.G! I cannot believe some of things I don't know!!
As an example: I just looked up the, semi-controversially named de-stresser, "Onanism" ~ I thought it was going to be some school of thought/philosophy I hadn't heard of. But nope! Lol!! 🤦♀️
1: MASTURBATION 2: COITUS INTERRUPTUS 3: SELF-GRATIFICATION "the kind of intellectual onanism to which he was dedicated" — Esther P. Shiverick
Thanks to @CuddleDuncan & @DarrenWalker 😳🙄 for the 'rabbit hole' of fun online...
Onanism is something I didn't know of either
@CuddleDuncan That’s how you perfect the art. There’s no fear of failure when failure’s guaranteed. I’m speaking of crafting messages, and not the onanism, which I admit is kind of a new concept to me 🤔. Even my phone hadn’t heard of it. It kept trying to auto-correct.
@cualtzin: Oh, I'm sure you were familiar with the concept. Most people are, even if they don't know all the different words used to refer to it.
@quixotic_life: You're welcome!
@DarrenWalker ☺️Yeah, we’re all human beings here. That’s why I used the qualifier “kind of”. I get the sense that you’re always on a quest for truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
...I'm not entirely sure what led you to that entirely accurate conclusion, @cualtzin, nor what prompted you to make the observation in this thread particularly, but—yes. Yes, I am. You're absolutely right. What can I say? I value truth. I'm kinda passionate about it.
My apologies, I tend to go off-topic when I’m cuddle and sleep deprived. Hopefully that’ll change soon.
@DarrenWalker I didn't know that, thank you. You can easily see how the meaning expanded, what with the concept of 'Every sperm is sacred' (c Monty Python 🙄).
And I wonder how many people here know what Parma violets are! I haven't had one for decades!
@quixotic_life ROFL I loved that... school of philosophy ... 😃
@cualtzin yes you are absolutely right. I take the same approach on dating websites. However, here in London the handful of female enthusiasts are swamped by droves of idiots, and sadly a huge proportion delete their accounts not long after joining. Some do fight their way through to the substantial numbers of genuinely nice men I know are on the site. But I'm at least two standard deviations above the average age so I'm not shortlist material. I'd have done the same at their age (oh the foolishness of youth!) so I can't complain.
One strategy could be skipping through someone else's mind by reading through the forums...
You can use the search box, found on the main forum home pages, either to the right (PC) or below (cell), to search a single, |word| , |multiple words| or a phrase with quotations, |"for an exact match"|.
word
multiple words
"for an exact match"
I searched both, "screaming" and "falling apart", and found all sorts of interesting threads to explore.
Or maybe you'd like to take an intentional pause and explore your own mind. Here's a 2 minute writing prompt to get you started:
Yes, I am gratful for _______, and what I also feel is _______, and the reason why is ________.
Set a timer for two minutes, and write (you may end up just sitting, unable to fill in the blanks. That's okay. Just focus on your breath and answering the first one. Whether you fill a page, or write nothing, end after two minutes (don't exceed three).
If you'd like an example of how this might look, here's one of mine:
Yes, I am greatful for the emotional support of my family and friends, and what I also feel is a deep sadness , and the reason why is, for several years our family traditions have been eroding. Our anchor/patriarch passed away, the house we all called home as children was sold, some have moved out of state for new relationships &/or work, and for some there is hurt blocking their participation. Additionally, the gathering I used to host, a New Year's fondue party, hasn't happened for a few years due to a deep dive depression that snuck up on me after my mother died. I'm overwhelmed in part because the only remaining traditions have considerably morphed over the last few years, but even more is due to Covid concerns threatening to keep us apart when we need each other most.
sidenote: The timer beeped and I gave myself 20 more seconds to wrap it up.
The primary purpose of this exercise is to bring an awareness to what one is struggling with. To acknowledge that two complex emotions can be simultaneously felt at once, and to honor both as valid.
Another is to lessen our "toxic positivity", where we distance ourselves from feeling our feelings. This "forced happiness", or acting happy or cheerful when we really aren't, can actually compound our negative emotions and prevents us from working through our problems/issues.
When finished, take a 20/20 break.
While focusing on something at least 20 feet away, spend at least 20 seconds breathing in deeply & exhaling fully.
Then give yourself a hug & smile at you! 🤗😊
@quixotic_life Thinking it out and writing it down can really help articulate why you're feeling a certain way. Just having that statement can help understand yourself so you know what's wrong and take steps to fwel better.