What is wrong with me?

[Deleted User]Snuggly82 (deleted user)
in General

I have tried so hard to be patient. I send respectful and nice messages to pros and "enthusiasts" yet can't even get a pro to barely talk to me. Is my money not as green as someone else's or is just how I look? The way I am a gentleman in my messages instead of the usual bad grammar and two sentence messages most people use these days?

Sorry for ranting. This is just something I had to put out there after so many months. Thanks for reading either way.

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    My sympathies. I feel your pain because I have it too. Only about 50% of pros even reply to me, and some of these just drop out part way through the conversation. A reply from an enthusiast is too rare for statistical analysis.

    There is nothing wrong with your profile except it's a bit short. Add a couple more photos, and another paragraph or two of text.

  • [Deleted User]Snuggly82 (deleted user)

    Thank you for the kind words and suggestions Duncan. I wish you all the best. It's hard out there for sure.

  • RezzRezz

    I can only speak for myself, appearance means nothing. Intent does. If I was in your area and you sent me a message I'd absolutely setup a session with you for what it's worth.

    Things to keep in mind, there's alot of dead profiles here, pros and enthusiasts who don't check the site frequently, email notifications don't always work, for me at least, and people who are just terrible at replying with a "no thank you". Lastly that pesky Covid has diminished the pool to fish from.

    You may have to travel outside your area or keep an eye open for some of us pros who travel to book a session. There's lots of lovely ladies here who travel and are professional in responding to inquiries.

    I do wish you the best! Please don't take the lack of response personal. It happens to everyone.
    ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

  • [Deleted User]Snuggly82 (deleted user)

    That's very sweet of you Envie. I know Covid has put a lot of fear in some meeting or deactivating their accounts. Wish you lived closer to my area, you sound like a wonderful person.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I am of the opinion that it's best to not put in much effort here. Having a large mismatch between effort in vs what you get out of it will cause negativity in your life.

    I send the occasional person a message, but not everyone. Lots of people don't fill out their profile so I mostly don't bother with them. Mostly I hang out in the forums which works for me.

  • Mike403Mike403

    I agree with @JasonCuddles . Hang out in the forums and try to build connections and one day you'll meet someone who wants to cuddle. Just don't make it your priority. Also, some enthusiasts have mentioned that they read a guy's forum posts to determine what kind of guy he is to decide if they want to meet him. It takes patience.

  • SideonSideon

    Best of luck, @Snuggly82 - there are options outside of messaging. @JasonCuddles speaks sound advice. Many people have made some great connections via the forums. Covid is a world-wide issue and concern.

    Here's to safe and healthy cuddles.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited November 2020

    @Snuggly82 I've more or less given up trying to connect with 'enthusiasts.' Some areas just don't have a lot of cuddlers, pro or otherwise. I get about a 60% response rate from pros. The pros I have dealt with are great at being non-judgemental, but I had to expand my search to 150 miles to find any providers. Some pros are more than happy to travel to you, but be prepared for the extra cost! Best of luck!

  • misssleeLeemisssleeLee

    @Snuggly82 personally, i see nothing at all wrong with you. I will say depending on some things people say to me, it makes me feel as though they want just a bit more than cuddling, not saying this is your case. just remember were not always someones cup of tea, but when we find that person who gets us, its soo worth the wait!

  • [Deleted User]Snuggly82 (deleted user)

    Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I try not to make it a priority as have enough going on in my life but then certain days , as we all know, just hit you.

    @misssleeLee thank you very much. I always am a complete gentleman online and in life and am old fashioned so it definitely isn't the case as far as seeming I'm looking for more. I can only imagine how many messages you get like that with wording that can possibly mean they are looking for more than hugs. That's a shame. I hope you find a special person you can enjoy all the cuddles with.

  • citizen48citizen48

    Would anyone be kind enough as to go over my profile and help a hopeless guy like me out. I've been on this site for sometime and I can't seem to find people especially in New York out of all places and find a cuddle buddy. I'm open to some advice on how to better approach people to better match with people. I'm very new to this concept and didn't think I'd reach to a point where I would be considering having a stranger come over to my place and cuddle with me, but here I am lol. I guess it's true, people do need physical touch and emotional support from time to time. It's a basic human trait we all need to function and be at a healthy state of inner peace and mindfulness. If anyone has any pointers or advice I'd be gladly to hear from you guys, anything helps. Thanks and cheers everyone!

  • HUGGGGGGHUGGGGGG
    edited November 2020

    “If” by Rudyard Kipling and “The road not taken” by by Robert Frost, may help, rest all will fall in place, as hard as may sound. Reconstructing the concept of romanticism may help. A fellow cuddler mentioned Alain de Botton’s lectures ...

  • RezzRezz

    @citizen48

    You have a well written bio, nice photos and a photo of your inviting cuddle space.

    If you're looking for an enthusiast that can definitely take some time, patience is an absolute must.

    If you're open to cuddling a pro I'm not sure where the problem lies unless majority of the pros there are on hiatus due to Covid.
    Have you tried messaging some pros? We are encouraged not to cold message members so if you're not receiving message maybe send some out to those who interest you.

    I'm certainly not soliciting myself to you but I do have plans to come to NY and I'd cuddle you to near death. ( near, not complete ) 😉

  • citizen48citizen48

    Thank so, so much @Envie! Appreciate the kind feedback, I'd definitely snuggle you to near death as well 😂😂😂. I'm definitely trying to work on my bio a bit more, definitely needs to be more refined a tad bit more and some adjustments here and there. Another thing that a fellow cuddle member pointed out to me was about the last picture with the nudy posters on my walls. I didn't consider that some potential fellow pro-cuddlers might be turned off from that especially female cuddlers.
    Definitely don't want to give off the wrong vibes or impression, I'm in no way a prude guy there merely for decoration which I have alot of rock band posters as well. I definitely have taken considerable measures to make sure my place is comfortable as possible and that everything is tidy, clean and fresh for my pro cuddling guests as everyone should all be doing anyways.
    I did wanted to ask your opinion on something tho, would it be considered inappropriate for a host (me) to offer an alcoholic drink option to a fellow guest on the first initial meet up? I feel as a young adult alittle wine is alot more subtle and approachable compared to beer or liquor which is more out of place for a first time intimate interaction, you know something to get both parties relaxed and ease up the initial tension.
    I do tend to be really shy and get extremely nervous when meeting for the first time so alittle nice wine might help take the edge off. Of course I wouldn't be to reliant on it to help me come out of my shell and be myself. But if there any other things you can bring up regarding my profile I'd would truly appreciate it Envie. Thank you so much for the advice, and if you're ever in New York I'd definitely would enjoy a wonderful little cuddle session sometime. Thanks again Envie, best wishes and positive vibes to you!

    -David

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @citizen48 Offer a small range of drinks. 'Would you like a glass of wine, a cup of tea or just some water?' Be genuinely ready, willing and able to go with any of them. Whatever your guest has, you have an equivalent: if they don't have wine, neither do you.

    Taking the choice from binary to a range makes the question easier to ask and easier to answer. It's also a good tip for life: offer people choices from a range of things, all of which are acceptable to you. This works particularly well on children.

    Some people would give their eye teeth for a glass of wine in that situation, others most certainly would not. The only way to find out is to ask them. Yes, in general it is appropriate to offer if it is something you would like, unless you know or suspect that the person does not drink alcohol. Profiles have an alcohol field, so that is your first port of call.

    The best answer to that question that I ever received was, 'For the love of god, man, have you not got anything stronger?'

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    I'm sorry to hear that @Snuggly82 - it sounds incredibly frustrating and disappointing. I do think that the other commenters are right that there's a lot of inactive profiles on here, plus many people (both pro and enthusiast) are taking a break due to COVID. I really hope you find what you are seeking eventually!

    @citizen48 I would be cautious about offering alcohol, as I think it would give off more date-like vibes. I would imagine coffee, tea, water or hot chocolate would be suitable for most people and would create a more platonic atmosphere.

  • Cuddleswanted86Cuddleswanted86

    @Snuggly82 It’s best to start from a place with zero expectations from this site. I’d echo what others have said.
    1. Pandemic
    2. Inactive accounts
    3. Small community- at least in my area

    Plus this community suffers from a supply / demand imbalance.

    Women pros most likely receive dozens of inquiries daily from nice gentlemen.. genuine or not, and well guys on the other hand most likely have empty dusty inboxes 😂.

    Don’t take it personally and work on being comfortable in your own skin. The more comfortable you are with your looks and so on, the better exp it will be for your future cuddle partner. Relaxation breeds relaxation.

    Good luck

  • [Deleted User]Snuggly82 (deleted user)

    Morning everyone. Thanks for more of the support and kind words. Really appreciate all the respectful observations. :)

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)

    Good Morning @snuggly82. That’s a question that I’ve often asked myself (in several different ways).

    With respect to enthusiasts, I just look at it like putting a note in a bottle and throwing it in the ocean. It would be nice to receive a reply, but it’s not expected.

    With respect to pros, it would be ideal if the cuddle world were filled with people like @Envie @Cuddlesanctuary. But it’s not. I know it sounds like a contradiction when you haven’t had much luck, but don’t be afraid to be selective. There’s so much you can tell about a person from their profile. Even when there’s almost nothing there at all. I read a profile very carefully, and only contact a few.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    With professionals, I have found that there is an good correlation between the length and professionalism of the profile blurb, and the probability of a reply/conversation/successful session.

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    Also not sure if this is any comfort @Snuggly82 but I have also had massage therapists and other alternative health practitioners ignore my messages or cancel on me. It's very annoying and I can understand how it feels upsetting especially if you're already feeling a bit lonely and in need of support.

  • HoneyB94HoneyB94

    I don’t get it , if your going to be a pro you can’t just be open to who you find attractive, this isn’t a dating site , now anybody does have the absolute right to deny someone , but it’s sad how many times I’ve heard something or that , that no pros are answering back , I always say I really don’t care what you look like , I just hope you’re respectful and we get along , I hope you find a cuddle buddy soon ! 🙂 there really are some great people on here who do travel .

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    From my own experience, my feeling is that the Pros not replying to me is mostly not personal. Some haven't logged on since I wrote, some have logged on only once or twice.

    For me, there are only a couple of cases of a Pros being properly active since my message without replying to me. They are always of the 'Pro profile blurb less than a paragraph' class, which is itself an amber flag.

  • [Deleted User]LilithKnight (deleted user)

    I LOVE this thread and all of the advice. I've only been on this site for a little bit but there is so much support. It's so refreshing to see positivity and advice!

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