Cuddling with a TG person?

PneumaSophiaPneumaSophia
edited April 2012 in General
Would this aspect of a person scare off someone who wants to cuddle?
A lot of girls i fear think "straight guy" and guys think "gay guy"... its a crazy double standard

My favorite cuddling is of the "platonic girlfriends sleepover" type.. watch a movie...make popcorn....cuddle in our PJs!
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Comments

  • MikazukiMikazuki
    it certainly wouldn't for me but then again im not a normal person.
    I think that it gets to alot of guys tend to not understand sensitive issues like that while girls are faster to "get it" or even be willing to try to understand.

    I think your best bet would be with girl sleepovers, but who knows.. you might find that nice open minded man along the way.
  • Dizzee2ToneDizzee2Tone
    edited April 2012
    Sorry to sound ingorant, but what is a TG person?
  • Dizzee2ToneDizzee2Tone
    edited April 2012
    Oh! trans gender? I would cuddle with a transgender person.
  • PneumaSophiaPneumaSophia
    LOL Dizzee......
  • PneumaSophiaPneumaSophia
    A lot of girls are oddly transphobic, Girl sleepovers are awesome tho.. has to be with the right girl tho... I want a boy to cuddle with tho (havent had a platonic boy cuddle friend yet)
  • [Deleted User]mrheavy (deleted user)
    I've cuddled before with TG girls, and I really enjoyed it a lot.
  • GaiagiaGaiagia
    I've never cuddled with TG person, but I would. Cuddling is something that everyone needs. Period.

  • samantha_pants91samantha_pants91
    I've never cuddled with another girl, anyway. I do my best to think of transgendered people as what they present as. If a FtM wanted to be my cuddled buddy I'd be cool with that, since I would consider them a guy. MtF would only be weird to me since it would cuddling with another girl.
  • Unknown
    I don't really see what the problem would be. I mean, if you're not looking for sex, just cuddles, then what does it matter if they're TG or straight or gay or female or male or what? Okay, yeah, maybe that's just me--I'm up for cuddles regardless. I think my only qualification is cleanliness, but that's sort of a given. 
  • TeddyBear87TeddyBear87
    I have cuddled with guys and girls but never a TG would be interested to do so though. I've just never had the opportunity. 
  • Tristan1024Tristan1024
    I don't think you'll be able to tell the difference of a person who is transgender unless you are having sex with them. Though this is only a cuddle site so that shouldn't be a issue.
  • i_camei_came
    This is a transphobic question.
  • jacfalconjacfalcon
    I think you might be reading into every question here. The point was to have a discussion about the issue. Defending transgender people is good, but don't disqualify sincere questions. Answer them ;)
  • Unknown
    I am a straight woman. I have cuddled with a MtF friend. It was sweet and comfortable. Others stared at us because they knew she was transgendered, but I didn't care, I liked the person. We both needed contact, and it was wonderful. She appreciated that I understood her. 
  • i_camei_came
    I thought the question was already answered - many people don't see a problem with that.
  • HamletHamlet
    Okay so I do see the very important value of this question and this discussion. If I didn't I wouldn't have clicked here :-P

    So here's the way I personally see this question: Can a person who is trans* be on CuddleComfort and be treated like the person they are? Can they be respected? Would they have to go and hide that they are trans* and then figure out how to tell a person and then try to deal with what ever after math might ensue?

    I want to thank people for discussing this here and I am going to put in my two cents from what I have read and what I know about this site.

    1.)Some of the people here have no clue about trans* issues or have no knowledge about trans* stuff in general.

    2.)Those that do have some knowledge are seemingly welcoming.

    3.)We need to get people together to talk to the web developer to make this website somehow more functional for trans* people to use, or at least make it clear that they are welcome.

    As for those of you say you wouldn't be able to tell or that it wouldn't matter you aren't having sex, you are correct and also wrong at the same time.  Some people who are trans* you would look at them and not know others you would, and other you would figure it out the moment you hugged, cuddled, or heard them speak. In my opinion it should not matter unless you are having sex is very correct, but it does matter. It can matter to the person who is trans*, as we have seen by the creation of this discussion.

    It matters because everyone needs to have the "comfort" part of the name "cuddlecomfort" fulfilled, and those of US who are trans* are not always capable of walking around in a world where people are comfortable with US. 

    As a fully grown, scrawny, 5' 2", person who looks almost 10yrs younger (and acts it also), I am guy and although I am an FtM I don't want to be have a Cuddle Buddy who sees me as some sort of female human mutant.

    Thank you PneumaSophia for being the frontrunner here and starting the conversation I should have, but wasn't strong enough to do.
    <3 hugs<3

  • alwynchanalwynchan
    Never cuddled a TG person but will give it a try if opportunity presents itself.
  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited November 2020

    I'm relatively new to CuddleComfort, and I've been reading various discussions that have not been updated in a long time. This is an interesting one. Apparently, in the years since @Hamlet suggested changes to the website, there are now a slew of gender options to choose from. You just have to select 'Other…' instead of 'Man' or 'Woman', and you get all these gender identities:

    • Agender
    • Androgynous
    • Bigender
    • Cis Man
    • Cis Woman
    • Genderfluid
    • Genderqueer
    • Gender nonconforming
    • Hijira
    • Intersex
    • Nonbinary
    • Other
    • Pangender
    • Transfeminine
    • Transmasculine
    • Trans Man
    • Trans Woman
    • Two Spirit

    These genders are eye-opening! I had to look some of them up. I just changed mine to Cis Man to encourage others to select alternative gender identities.

    [Edited: I forgot to include gender nonconforming, which actually I will select since I feel like my way of communicating and interacting is closer to the female gender stereotype; e.g., I prefer face-to-face over shoulder-to-shoulder and I prefer to talk about feelings more than most men do. I am "trying it on for size," so to speak, because I have never officially labeled myself as "gender nonconforming" before. We'll see how it goes…]

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited November 2020

    I would. I do see where it might be best to be transparent about it since cuddling is an intimate act and not everyone might have the same level of comfort. An example is woman I spoke to who said she cuddled a trans male to female . She is not transphobic however due to recent trauma from sexual assault had made every effort to avoid being in closed quarters with men so halfway through when she stumbled upon the male parts by mistake, she was rather upset and freaked out about it, said she felt betrayed . I realize a trans person might identify with a different gender than their anatomy , but in her case , the anatomy is what she associated with as tool of abuse from her abuser so it was not a good situation. I am all for identifying how you choose , my own son is part of the LGBTQ community and I am a proud ally , however not everyone has the same life history or triggers

  • ZayadollZayadoll

    If you lived in my area I totally would! A sleepover sounds like a blast! I am glad everyone in this thread is so positive and helpful. I'm sure you'll definitely be able to find someone cause those things shouldn't matter. There are mean nasty people out there, but do dont give up! There are plenty of people who would love the chance to cuddle up.. Good luck and stay safe love 🥰

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Huh? ~ Is there a difference (even if nuanced) between "Cis Woman" and "Woman"?
    Does the backend of the system sort them differently in searches? Interesting.

    And does "gender non-conforming" really only mean they just don't buy into the stereotypical roles of the gender they are so that makes them "agender"?

    Guess I have some work to do! I don't think my understanding of all this is near accurate enough...

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Zayadoll the OP hasn't been on in 5 yrs

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I’ve always been willing to cuddle any and everyone as long as they’re respectful. I’m bisexual and I’ve actually been shunned by people in the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t understand why 🤷🏼‍♀️ Love who you love. As long as you treat me with dignity, that’s all I’m concerned about.

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    I am open to cuddling “everyone”. Have not had the opportunity to cuddle a TG person yet but would enjoy the experience. For me positive attitude and connection matter more than gender.

  • parkwayvisualparkwayvisual

    I've cuddled with trans women and I think I liked it.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @quixotic_life I believe the only difference between "Woman" and "Cis Woman" is that the latter label specifies that you were born female and feel comfortable with the gender you were born with. I myself originally balked at labeling my gender "cisgender male" a couple of years ago when I filled out a form to join a group because I felt like "just a guy," not someone who had to conform to current buzzwords. However, I have come to appreciate the support that discussing and identifying gender gives to those whose gender identity is neither typically "male" nor "female." It's sort of like how you might see a cisgender woman putting "(she/her/hers)" after her name to denote her preferred pronouns— she might look unmistakably like a woman who was born female, and she might have a typically female name such as Violet, so she is not doing it because she is concerned anyone might not know how to refer to her; she is doing it to create a safe space for non-cisgender folks to state their preferred pronouns. You bring up a really good question about the effect a gender other than Woman has on search filters.

    As for "gender nonconforming," from what I've read it is not the same as "agender"; it simply denotes that the person does not conform to some of the expectations for their gender. When I was a little boy, I liked to talk with girls because they were talkers, unlike most of the boys I met, and I liked playing face-to-face games like patty-cake with them because I liked the direct interaction and lack of aggression. One day when I was in first grade, one of the girls I was playing with asked me why I liked to play with girls instead of boys and play girls' games instead of boys' games. I said to her, "Well, you know how some girls are Tomboys? I guess you could call me a Marygirl." I kid you not! I had a strong sense of self-identity even then. A Tomboy is not necessarily a gender dysmorphic girl who feels like she's really a boy. Often women who were tomboys grow up to be more feminine. I grew up to be more masculine. I didn't feel like a girl; I just felt like I didn't conform to the expectations of a boy. When I was around the same age, I befriended a boy who was like me. We went skipping down the sidewalk holding hands. His mom called after us, "Boys don't hold hands!" I sang back "Weee dooo!" Now I would love to have a friend who would hold my hand, and I wish that men were more affectionate. I also wish that men would be more communicative. From outward looks, I look like a pretty typical man, and I don't think most people would look at me and say "he doesn't act like a man." Most people probably don't even know I'm gay. But part of me still feels like a rebel against the expectations of my gender, which is probably what attracts me to the term "gender nonconforming." I am still reading more about it and trying it on for size. I might just change my gender identity back to "Man" if "Cis Man" is screwing up the search filtering and if "gender nonconforming" isn't a good fit.

    I don't mean to hijack the thread and make it about the ins and outs of gender identity labels; I just thought it was interesting to see the changes that were made to the website in the years since @hamlet gave the feedback. I also find nonsexual gender attraction very interesting, and even more interesting when the potential cuddle partner has a gender which is different from our typical gender attraction.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @nurturingman ~ I love this!! Thank you so much! Earlier, when I went to look into it, I found a couple pages so dense with info I had to nope-out - it was a short break. I intend to go further in after work.

    Thank you again for your insights and reflections ~ I have a feeling there are a mess of teachers who just loved telling stories about you!

    Will be to changing my work e-mail signature to:
    Name
    Title
    Cis-Female (she/they)
    ~kindness first & last~

  • misternatureboymisternatureboy

    If the person is good company, has good hygiene, and is healthy, I'm happy to cuddle with them. Gender and sexuality are irrelevant.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    As long as we get along and they're a good person and has good hygiene, I think that's what matters most.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    So many labels. When did I am me become passé?

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