I've been considering how to respond to a few of these messages and I think I'll say this. For those saying they aren't working on inclusion, that typically comes from a place of privilege. Privilege isn't a bad thing but it does inform decisions and actions and I hope that we can all acknowledge those privileges.
Thank you for all of you who are taking the time to respond. I appreciate you all!
That's really awesome @littermate 💜
Very elegantly put, @Sashamcgee.
@Sashamcgee: Often it also comes from being too overwhelmed to do extra work.
Who has the energy to work on inclusion when they're disabled, looked down on for their sexual orientation and gender identity, struggling with suicidal depression or extreme social anxiety or chronic illness or just plain making enough money to live?
Having so many spoons that you see not working as typically coming from a place of privilege... to me that looks like a level of blissful ignorance I'll never be able to achieve.
I love the privilege I do have. But it's not enough to do much more than keep me alive. I do love being alive, though!
@Sashamcgee I fully agree with your assessment that feeling as though you don’t need to work on inclusion often comes from a point of privilege. I also found it interesting that many of these responses referenced race as though there aren’t soo many groups (LGBTQIA+, people with physical/ intellectual disabilities, women in general) that could and should be more supported.
I have to admit, this has not been a year of inclusion for me. Mostly dropped out of society. But this is the time of year when we look toward making changes. I’ll take a hesitant first step toward inclusion, by acknowledging a fellow excluder. @DarrenWalker you’re really smart and often entertaining. Your posts are worth reading. I may not always agree with you. But if I agreed with everyone on everything, I’d surely be insane.
@DarrenWalker that's a very good point. In that kind of situation it most certainly isn't coming from a place of privilege, quite the opposite.
It might be argued that the people you describe are actually working very hard for inclusion: the person they are trying to include is themselves.
In my everyday life it so happens I meet quite a lot of very privileged people. Some of them try to do their bit for inclusion, and some even succeed. But I can tell you, from personal experience, that there is no shortage of privileged people who just don't get it.
Thank you @CuddleDuncan
@DarrenWalker I never put a group that I was referencing for inclusion. So asking about people with mental illness or disabilities or the LGBTQIA+ community is implying I don't think they deserve to be included. And I'll go double check but I don't believe that I said anyone should be working on anything. I asked if people were making any steps. These could easily be simple things such as including your preferred pronouns even if you are cisgender to help normalize it for all folks. Or having conversations you may have shyed away from before.
@CuddleDuncan: I never thought of it that way before.
Whenever people ask what I'm doing in terms of social work—fostering inclusion, creating safe spaces, building aid networks, whatever—I always feel useless. I do nothing, I think. I know it's because I don't have the energy, don't have the money, don't have the resources... but still. I'm not doing the work. I'm not taking the steps, don't have the energy for even the simplest things. I'm so tired. How can I be so tired when I'm doing nothing?
And then I hear things like "for those saying they aren't working on inclusion, that typically comes from a place of privilege" ...and I wonder. Are people like me really so rare that it's normal for not working to be a sign of privilege?
Thank you.
I try to pay tuition fees in part if not full (need-based) since few years now... Also, I usually select a person at random and give them similar lunch as myself or something else they might like, I ask usually if they are hungry (it has decreased a lot due to covid though) a few days ago I felt a lady needed help (she was talking about her son) , when I gave her some money she saw her hand and started crying. I turned around quickly and left, I later thought it was a bit rude to leave quickly when she started to cry, but the truth is that I did not have the capacity to see her cry. Well not this year but, in the good old days without covid, I was dancing and a friend brought her special-needs daughter with her to an afternoon event. I cannot forget her smile when I asked her to dance with me, even though in the end she was so shy that she could not participate, she felt very happy even at the attempt.
Thanks @Sashamcgee. Thanks for giving a shit.
@UltimateChungus: Well, I've recently learned that the effort I put into making a place for my disabled, neurodivergent, nonbinary, queer self in society counts as working towards inclusion. If working as hard as I do for inclusion makes someone a good person, I think I qualify! So I'll spit in your hand.
Well done making those donations (which he actually made, by the way). You're a good person with good intentions. Thanks for giving a shit! And also some money, which is typically more useful than a poo.
You're an inclusive person. Be proud.
@UltimateChungus: Smacking and yelling sounds strenuous. Why don't you just do the screaming, while I take care of attracting mass attention via clashing metal?
For instance, I could start the "share your virtuous actions with the world" thread, and you could post in it.
@HUGGGGGG @littermate 💜💜💜
(Edit) No longer applies. Thank you @SoulcuddlerZ
@DarrenWalker don't worry, you are doing your bit.
Take me, for example. I am a curious mixture of privileged and excluded. The friendship you have shown to me has helped me feel - and actually be - more accepted by the world.
You do as much as you can do. Can't ask for more than that. Working for inclusion is more a state of mind than anything. We talk about actions because the state of mind on its own obviously doesn't change anything. But it's the most important bit.
Almost everybody who comes to Cuddle Comfort is missing something in their lives. Therefore, almost anybody who plays an active part in this community is doing something for inclusion.
The people to whom @Sashamcgee are referring could do a lot. But they do nothing, and don't/won't even recognise that there is something to be done.
An extreme example was some rich brat who some years ago tweeted or facebooked, 'I don't see why I should help homeless people. If you are homeless, why don't you just buy a house?' (Or words to that effect.) Turned out she was serious.
Oh and @Sashamcgee don't worry about @UltimateChungus. His posts are best enjoyed with salt.
This is a reminder to stay on topic. Some comments have been removed for baiting/spamming.
Hug back @Sashamcgee. Big ol' squeezy one.