What was your BEST session like? What made it great?
Alternatively, what was your WORST session like? What made it less than ideal?
I look forward to seeing everyone's answers and I hope everyone has a happy holidays!
My best session - was with a complete amazing person ... she was beautiful in her pics, & absolutely gorgeous in person ... her smile was literally 😍😍 I’m a sucker for gorgeous smiles ... her place was sooo nice ... everything organized / neat & clean - the decor really stood out... she played my fav genre of music , I held her close to me / talked & she would not stop making eye contact & smiling 🙈💕 ... when the time was over I right away took the initiative to start getting ready to go & she said to me no, its ok I could stay another 30 minutes ... 30 minutes went by & once again I went ahead to take the initiative & she told me I could stay, & that she didn’t have to go until another hour .... so for a total of 1 hour & a half over the time I was supposed to leave she embraced my presence, she made me feel soo good, everything about her is amazing -such a beautiful soul 🌌 ♥️
It sounds like you both clicked really well and had a lovely time! I'm so glad to hear that! 😊
Thank you soo much @urfavebabybrat , happy holidays to you as well ☺️
No problem at all and happy holidays to you also, @introvme ! ☺️☺️
That's easy, the best one was the first one. That's the one that made things different, that had the biggest impact on my life by showing me the existence of this world.
"What was your BEST session like? What made it great?"
Open communication before and during our time together has been key to the best cuddle sessions. When both have been completely honest with ourselves and each other in what we wanted/like (and what's off limits) it has made for the best free-flowing times.
"Alternatively, what was your WORST session like? What made it less than ideal?"
The worst was from not listening to my gut, telling myself I didn't have proof and should give him a chance. Then unfortunately learning my instincts were right all along. Just the night before, and again when we got to our cuddle space (even showing him a diagram so there would be zero confusion), he agreed to respect my boundaries. But less than 15-30 minutes in, he was violating them, and not at all in a subtle sort of, "whoops" way. It was full on and a bit aggressive. So when people say, "listen to your gut", do!!!
I like how welcome and comfortable I was made to feel. When meeting strangers it is so easy to become nervous and appear cold have the other person mirror that energy. I try my best not to give off that energy but I don't always succeed, and I appreciate the openness given to me that allowed me to open up in turn.
I also love when there is an organic connection. If someone wants to talk about deep life stuff, it is reciprocated, if we just want to be quiet and melt away, it is understood by both. Verbal communication is of course important but it feels so much smoother when you're able to understand each other's non-verbal cues.
@quixotic_life Yes, it is best to listen to your gut. I try to have an open mind and give things a chance before I cast judgement. And I appreciate that you were trying to have an open mind and expand your horizons, but if it concerns safety, it is best to just say, okay gut we will pass on this one as you have found! I have also found this to be the case.
@CuddleDuncan That's lovely! I agree that the first session someone has can make or break their experiences
@quixotic_life Thank you so much for responding, it sounds like you have a lot of experience in the community and I have a lot I can learn from you so I'm definitely taking notes! 👀📋✍🏼 That being said, I'm sorry you had that experience for your worst session Were you able to get out of there okay? What did you end up doing after that happened? I think documenting what to do after a terrible session that violates boundaries for newcomers would be a good idea. I understand if you're not comfortable though!
@sunnysideup Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you've had quite a few lovely sessions and I'm glad that you have been able to make such wonderful connections. That being said, have you had a session go poorly? I'm curious to see if you did and how you handled it.
@urfavebabybrat ~ "Thank you so much for responding, it sounds like you have a lot of experience in the community and I have a lot I can learn from you so I'm definitely taking notes!" 👀📋✍🏼
Sure thing, but I've only been here since late June 2020, and feel like I still have soooo much to learn! There are quite a few who've been here much longer, and/or who've had plenty more irl/cuddle interactions than I have.
That said, I think if you take in and consider everyone's perspectives, you'll start to better flesh out and define your own. There's just so much to consider... And personal growth is a constant (at least for me anyway).
"That being said, I'm sorry you had that experience for your worst session Were you able to get out of there okay? What did you end up doing after that happened?"
He finally left and I was honestly in a state of shock for a bit. After questioning the whats, whys and hows, along with having a mess of self-blame, I spoke with a few people about the situation and slowly moved into being pissed.
It wasn't until talking with a friend who said, "Well, what do you expect?" That I realized I wasn't in the wrong at all. He'd violated me and knew it. There's no excusing that kind of behavior and it's not okay to blame the victim, even when it's yourself.
Eventually I reported the situation along with a note that the moderators were welcome to read all of our exchanges to note the red flags I didn't. I have no idea what happened from there (maybe they saved it to see if there's a pattern of behavior?) but he's still active on here so...?
"I think documenting what to do after a terrible session that violates boundaries for newcomers would be a good idea."
Yes! That's located in a few places on the site (browsing the FAQ recommended), but here's an overview of the options... If you need to report someone you can do so through: • their profile (dots next to the "message" bar) • the CC Contact Us form https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/contact-us • sending a PM to one of the moderators/site owner • the page of messages you exchanged with the person...
Note: To report a specific message/comment on the forum, just click "Flag" (near the date/time of the post), write a short explanation for the report and submit.
I hope this is helpful and that your positive experiences here far outweigh any others ~ And that you'll never need any of the above reporting info! 🤗
@quixotic_life Thank you so so SO much! This little beginner guide is PERFECT! I'm so sorry for what this user did to you and, without risking a witch hunt, would you mind if I asked who the user was via DMs? I want to block them in advance
I'm just glad you're okay, seriously. That's such a terrible situation to be in.
And even if you're newer also, you're doing a fabulous job and you're a lovely person to learn from!
Sorry about your experience. I had overlooked your post.
@quixotic_life, I would like the username via PM as well. I'm having a great experience here so far and he's not welcome to come rain on my parade!
16 hours with a wonderful woman in OR. We had everything in common. She was 32. I've never had a bad one.
HE'S STILL ACTIVE HERE after groping you? Inexcusable. @Sideon
NEVER EVER second guess your gut. Those instincts your gut gives you could save your life and at the very least, your time. Plus your gut is ice cream’s friend. At least that is what my gut tells me.
What made it great?