What have been some of your most cursed thoughts? (WARNING: potentially disturbing content)

I'm using "cursed" in the internet slang sense: something that disturbs you and stays with you for a while.

For example, I woke up this morning and thought, "What do you do if a bug gets into your cast?" I was so icked out by the thought that I couldn't get back to sleep.

What are some cursed thoughts that have crossed your mind? Make me suffer.

Catloaf

"What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?"

... you know what? I'd go to the church of Hokey Pokey. I'd do it. You set it up, I'll come.

@squeakytoy That would give you the opportunity to turn yourself around.

I had a similar thought about bugs and ears a while back and had to sleep with cotton wool in my ears for a good six weeks.

I have ADHD and anxiety and I get bad intrusive thoughts, some of which make me question my own sanity/whether I am a horrible person. The bit below is graphic so don't read if you are squeamish.

When people hold babies and they get that thought of 'you could drop that baby'! It's not like 'hey, dropping this baby is an option for you, go ahead' it's more like 'hey, if you drop this baby it'll get really hurt so be careful'. I also get that but mine is more like

'If you drop this baby then this exact thing will happen and this bone will break and then this part will bleed and it will be screaming (or worse, it will be too quiet) and the parents will be screaming and the police will be there and you'll be arrested for hurting a baby so don't hold the baby, just look at the baby from a distance, even if you really want to hold the baby, because YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

pmvines

When I hold I baby I think how awful and easy it would be to drop them . Not purposefully of course

I DO THE SAME THING, @BuggleBear ! It's rarely halfway. The catastrophizing is real.

Also... I'm very familiar with the first cursed thought. I once read something about cockroaches liking to hide in ears and nostrils and nibble on eyelashes, and my apartment building had been dealing with cockroaches at the time. I slept with my comforter wrapped tightly around my head each night.

I used to ride the train to work every morning. It still bugs me when people rush to get on before people can get off. Ugh

LOL @Mmart !! And that's the tagline. We've done it, guys.

Yeah, people have no staying power. Same with elevators. Like, where the hell do you expect me to go? This isn't tetris.

@pmvines Yeah, same with anything fragile, expensive, etc. It feels like dropping/breaking it is imminent. It's so anxiety-inducing.

@pmvines and @squeakytoy I'm glad in a way that's its not just me that has that thought. Like, I would obviously never do anything to harm a child or a an animal but I have these thoughts sometimes and it's like, 'Whoooa, hold your horses, pal, where did that come from?!?!??'

ChefKate

@BuggleBear that's some wild shit your brain comes up with. However I get it because my ADHD brain does the same thing. Do you have a therapist that is trained in ADHD? I sometimes need mine to stop me in my runway train of thought and roll it back to reality.

_Back to life... back to reality... back to the here and now and when. _Love that song!

Anyway, one huge thing that I can do to get out of my head when it's spiraling like that is to create. Art and creating, whether they be physical or digital, seem to focus enough of my brain that the intrusive thoughts are not able to continue. And I know that learning a new tool or technique takes up even more of my brain power. The thought may come back, but at least I get a reprieve as well as the opportunity to see it from a different angle.

For many years I feared anyone touching my belly button. I just knew it would explode. This is a truth only a few family members, friends and my therapist know.

GentleMan1111

I fret over being old and alone, with no one to make me meat loaf and stroke my fat.

@Mmart Oh god... any belly button stuff is so wildly uncomfortable to think about. You know that one scene near the start of The Matrix? I wanted to curl up and hide under the theatre seat

Several years ago I read a study that stated over the course of your lifetime, while sleeping, you will eat an estimated number of spiders.. Creeps me out to this day, I don’t like spiders to begin with, since bitten by a poisonous one when I was nine...
Makes you think twice about the taste in your mouth in the morning.

Great thread!
💫L💫

@ChefKate I don't have a therapist, I need to find one because I don't know how to deal with my own brain half the time. I was only diagnosed with autism and ADHD about three years ago, so I've learned to mask and muddle along, but there is a lot of stuff that I need help with. Hard to find a ADHD therapist in the UK on the NHS though. Mostly my 'therapy' is looking at ADHD TikToks and being like 'oh that' s an ADHD thing too? And it has a name? Cool.'

ChefKate

@BuggleBear sending you a pm

littermate

What if I'm in this remote hot spring and a gang of guys comes and rapes me?
What if I have cancer?
What if right now as I hike a mountain lion is silently stalking me?
What if while I'm peeing in this outhouse a snake comes up and bites me?

@GentleMan1111 Aww, those are two lovely things to value in the present! I don't blame you for your fears though, it's scary to think about getting old, and hard to accept the mortality of the ones we love.

@mentor11 I'm glad you're enjoying the thread! Regarding that study... I wish I didn't have a personal story about this, but alas. I'll put spoiler tags around it, because it is extremely cursed.

One morning, I was woken up by my then-boyfriend, because he was making choking and gargling sounds. He managed to gasp out, "I can't breathe," and ran to the bathroom. I immediately called 911 and they sent an ambulance. The paramedics found that his uvula (the little punching bag at the back of the throat) was swollen up so badly it was hanging into his throat and blocking his windpipe. He kept almost swallowing it. They gave him an antihistamine, and got him to sit down, leaning forward, so that the uvula rested on the back of his tongue until the swelling went down. When the swelling went down, they inspected it and found a MASSIVE spider bite on it. That was just great to hear.

@littermate Aaaagh!! Stress!! These are all so real!!

littermate

Thankfully they are quite rare. Great thread.

@BuggleBear I see that @ChefKate already messaged you about this - I found the psychologist search at PsychologyToday (https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists) amazingly helpful in finding mine, but I'm not sure which parts of the world it covers. I thought I'd list it just in case, though.

TheFunCartel

What does it feel like to be swallowed whole by a whale and die slowly from stomach acids?

@mentor11 I don't want to pee on your parade but that has been widely proven to be false, or at least incredibly rare. Spiders don't have a sense of hearing-they are completely deaf, and they rely on vibrations to warn them of predators and prey (when a spider makes a web and the prey lands on it, the vibration along the threads means that the spider can pinpoint where the prey is and get to it quickly and finish it off before it has chance to free itself)

Likewise, if you see a spider on your wall or floor, if you tap near it, it will generally freeze, then move in the other direction.

Know what humans do when they are asleep and breathing deeply? They vibrate 😴 Unless you're really unlucky, and your local spiders are incredibly dumb, it's super rare that you'll swallow one spider in your lifetime, let alone several a year.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.britannica.com/amp/story/do-we-really-swallow-spiders-in-our-sleep

Hope this makes you feel better!

TheFunCartel

What does it feel like to be pinned down like an insect while a cosmic magnifying glass burns appendages off one at a time?

TheFunCartel

What if earwigs turn my ears into a mullet?

@squeakytoy , thank you! I’ll try not to remember that one! 🤦🏻‍♂️😂

Here is an instant karma story for you!😉

While at work one day a big fat spider crawled up the side of the house, of course I took my hammer and squashed his fat ass! Only to have his guts shoot straight into my mouth!!! Boy did that suck!! Lesson learned!!! Close mouth before squishing!!!

Maybe the lesson should be not to squish spiders, since they mean you no harm.

Thank you @BuggleBear 🙂🤗