New cuddler here, trying to learn from other fellow cuddlers experience. Did anyone ever found a session to be a trap? Or was cheated??
Some cuddlers are good and some not so much whether m/f enthusiast/pro. Take the training to protect yourself.
Yes. Most I have met with are good people, but a few have been rotten apples. Had a women have two guys waiting to beat me down and take my wallet. Another woman was promising cuddles, had me (and, I later found out, multiple other cuddlers), drive to the meeting point in her town, and then ghost them. (She was even talking to me up to ten minutes before our meeting time. Then nothing until I reported her and left bad karma. That's when I had 5 other guys tell me she did the same to them.)
But of the 11 cuddle partners I have actually met with, 9 were wonderful, and one was a "dead fish" cuddler. Talking to your candidates for a while beforehand will usually head off potential problems.
I would be wary and take precautions when meeting anyone on here. Try to get sense of a person before meeting up with them through conversation, and be sure to reinforce your physical/emotional boundaries there. Let a trusted person know where you're going, try to meet in public first if possible, or have a consultation, carry self defense weapons if permitted by law.
Though it isn't common, people do get cheated on here, or worse. Many women have reported getting assaulted/harassed, but it happens to men too, but less frequently.
I would generally feel very safe scheduling an appointment with a professional cuddler with lots of karma, though.
Happy cuddling.
my own fault for pre-paying for a future session ( after having to cancel one, did it as as show of faith).got blocked shortly after. my dad always had a great quote
"they say its good to learn from your mistakes, but its better to learn from someone elses"
I always think it’s a trap. That is why I’m still alive.
A pro cuddler I met, the guy purposefully gave her a fake c note, then promises to exchange it on her next appointment but then cancelled their next apt and ghosted her. I would ask for payment upfront and any travel costs if a pro cuddler.
When I say payment upfront I mean when you actually are there in person for the session if a pro.
Meeting somebody from the internet is similar to crossing the road. If you don't look left and right, and listen, then you might get run over.
While you are new, look for cuddlers with good Karma. Follow the Karma trail to see who has left it for them. Look for any posts they have made in the forum - the FAQ thread, which you should read [at least twice] anyway, explains how.
Ignore looks and focus on the profile text. Once you have found somebody you like the look of, initiate a conversation. Chat to them for a little while. Legitimate cuddlers are always perfectly happy to do this. Listen to your gut: if makes alarm bell sounds, politely excuse yourself. Keep the conversation on the site, do not go to another app. (Although it is useful to exchange contact details the day before so that you have good communication for any last minute problems with traffic or whatever.)
Do not pay for the session in advance, although a modest deposit is acceptable. If hosting expenses come into play, read around the forum for advice. Cash on meeting is best.
If you're unsure, request a ten minute get-to-meet-you video call beforehand. For the actual meeting, tell somebody where you are going, what you are doing, what time you expect to be back, and what to do if you don't check in.
The vast majority of cuddle meetings are happy experiences for both parties. I've met many dozens if not hundreds of people from the internet and have had only one moderatly unhappy experience.
carry self defense weapons if permitted by law.
Unless you are properly skilled (i.e. at least a qualified instructor) in using the weapon, this is dangerous advice. History teaches us that weapons carried by amateurs are much more likely to be used on them than by them.
Absolutely right, I would too.
Well-written advice, @CuddleDuncan , thanks!
Yes, and yes. To carry over from another recent thread, my instincts warned me but I allowed other factors (hope, optimism, naiveté, perhaps a dash of stupidity?), to override those warnings--much to my chagrin.
@ShaneMTB thanks Humperdinck!
@CuddleDuncan You're probably right - if not properly trained, it's definitely better to run away if you are able to. Additionally, If you try to attack your attacker and fail, you risk getting them angrier and risking more harm.
Thank you all for your valuable inputs and sharing your experiences. This is really helpful.
@ShaneMTB Inconceivable!
Yes, this past Friday night. I was told she was on her way...only to wait over 2 hours to be ghosted. Shame that this pro plays games with peoples time and emotions to get some sort of thrill. She did this a few times before (but had made up excuses) so I kept believing her only to realize is was on purpose. And no, there is no bad blood...we have never met. All the prior communication was good. I am mad at myself for being duped by the same person. Never again.
@cuddletime222 maybe you should write a negative review in her Karma to warn others against her.
@cuddletime222 yes please leave suitable Karma or Report her, whichever you think is more appropriate. You are allowed to leave Karma for no-shows.
And don't feel bad, it's happened to me. Not with cuddling, but in other contexts.
@cuddletime222 thanks for sharing your experience. As others suggested, please leave a Karna for that cuddler who ghosted you more than once. People need to beware of such people who do not respect others time.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. It was frustrating to say the least. Reading these comments lets me know some others have had similar experiences. Thankfully, most all of my other cuddle experiences have been great!
I was supposed to go to a session, and given an address. The cuddler said to just open the front door, walk in, and go into the bedroom. My radar went up, and instead of doing that, I parked across the street and watched. Ten minutes after I was supposed to arrive, two guys emerged from the bushes and started looking up at down the street. They looked like movie thugs out of central casting. Glad I didn’t pre-pay.
@TheNewNovelist Holy crap! Good instincts. Is that cuddler still on the site? I hope not.
Immediately after the incident, I checked the site, and the profile was gone. I didn’t bother trying to text or email the person back. A few weeks later, I determined that the house had been under renovation, and had been foreclosed on a few weeks before I almost stumbled into trouble. My advice to anyone is that if you feel any odd vibe from someone or a situation, get out!
YIKES. DOUBLE YIKES. That is creepy as hell!!! I'm glad you got out unscathed. That story could have gone a lot differently.
Squeaky,
Btw-sorry I “misspelt” your name earlier. The instructions the “cuddler” gave me about “just walking into the bedroom” set off my radar...I knew someone awhile back who was into “cloak & dagger” stuff-he warned me about setups once. Smart chap.