People can block for no reason at all. There's no need to fuss over it. They are not worth your time anyway. Why? Because it seems they can't handle something in a productive manner by discussing it with you first if there even was a problem at all. So even though you're confused about it because as far as it seemed there was no issue...it's for the best. If they block for nothing...if you try to keep them around their behavior could get worse. What would they do if there was actually a little problem next time? I wouldn't want to find out.
I've met too many unstable people in my life and blocks would be great especially in real life. Seen people throw chairs at random people, throw lettuce at people, one tried pulling someone's hair out, etc.
Personally, if I see a block for no reason I'd think, "Ha! Well that's just cute." I'd not feel bad at all.
I only ever blocked one person because he seemed unstable when messaging me. I can't handle unstable people. I should block two more people. I can't do disrespectful people either but I will only if they message me. Otherwise, eh. No contact anyway so not a big deal.
@CuddleWho I'm with you on the hide profile idea. Even some more filter fields would be useful.
I quoted an extreme example of profile viewing to make my point. It's only happened to me once on CC (for a few weeks) and although it wasn't quite as bad as that it was creepy enough. I neither messaged nor blocked the person, altough I did consider it, and one day they just weren't there any more.
I have no doubt it happens to women more than men. I've come across this kind of thing before in other contexts.
The kind of repeated viewing that you do, and I do, and a lot of people do, may be frustrating to the professional in some cases, but is not problematic.
Yes, thank you @MattsWeather.
@xandriarain
It would be helpful to at least know why they weren’t booking a session with me and to get some feedback.
You don't need any feedback, your profile is already exemplary. There are only three reasons why somebody would not book a session with you: 1) They are too far away; 2) They are broke; 3) They are nuts.
@Amortentia I like your perspectives and agree!!!😁
@CuddleBuddyElf @CuddleDuncan @CuddleWho I didn't even think of that, it's definitely an effective permanent way to filter out those you've determined won't be a good match. Maybe that's what's happening in some cases. @Amortentia Yeah I think I just have to learn not to fuss over it. Everyone's responses here have put me at ease over it. It's nice to hear this happens to everyone and is just part of the experience. @CuddleDuncan Thanks for your kind words haha, though I am not a pro cuddler, but I've gained a lot of experience seeing many pros and a few enthusiasts over the last 5 years.
@CuddleDuncan Though I'll add I feel like we should always be open to feedback no matter how wonderful our profile is. There is always room to grow as a cuddler and as a person.
@CuddleWho If I notice someone is in my area and visits my profile, I’ll send a message to them. When I get no response, I don’t pry. But seeing the same person visit my profile, repeatedly, not response or anytime. Yeah I’m blocking. Doesn’t matter if I’m a pro or not. If I feel that makes me uncomfortable, I’m not going to let it happen.
@plushdoll ok, you’ve basically just restated what you said to begin with. It’s not clear to me what “repeatedly” means, how someone viewing your profile harms you in any way or how blocking someone protects you in any way... but sure, if you want to block people for not replying to you and looking at your profile, go for it.
I have often wondered why people repeatedly view my profile as well @plushdoll and you are well within your rights to exercise your boundaries against anything that makes you uncomfortable. However, consider another angle, that you might be hurting potential business. Some people might have creepy motives I'm sure, but maybe there are others who are checking for an update to your profile, your pictures; they might be shy to message back etc. I've had locals back in my old city who knew I couldn't host, but probably were checking to see if there was any change to that. I've had locals repeatedly checking my profile between the time I was on hiatus due to COVID, and the time I received my vaccination.
Not saying you should un-do anything you're doing, but I just thought I would throw that out there. Try not to assume the worst if you can; it will just burn you out so much.
I will be visiting everyone’s profile every hour on the hour ....
@CuddleWho I see no problem in reiterating what I stated. And it’s ultimately not up to you in the end to decide on what makes me uncomfortable or not. Even if it’s “someone viewing my profile” But I’m sure you know that also.
@Catloaf I understand what you’re saying and appreciate the way you responded. I don’t believe I’m hurting my business as all business isn’t good business. Like I mentioned, if someone in my area visits my profile, I will contact them. If someone has expressed interests in a session, I’ll provide my availability, and even update them if that changes, without them having to inquire. This could also be applied to enthusiasts, not just Professionals. If you noticed strange behavior from someone you’ve reached out to and gotten no response from, are you gonna wait for one to be reassured or just remove the worry all together? I will say I’m not going around blocking everyone who doesn’t message back though.
thank you. The worst won’t be the first assumption, yet I will also give priority to my comfort.
@CuddleWho Nailed it with your excellent analogy.
Hmm. Maybe it's guilt. If they are hiding something then this is when this type of behavior happens...mmm
all business isn’t good business
Yes yes yes yes yes so much yes
@plushdoll Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from. Perhaps I had kind of just skimmed your comment, I'm reading through it more carefully now and picked up additional context. Yes, that would rub me off a little bit if I had reached out after someone had viewed me, and then they continued to do so without responding. I wouldn't block but I can completely see how you want to eliminate a waste of your emotional energy and protect against people who might not align with that you offer. While my mind might rush to someone having some motive that I deem ulterior or dubious at best, I tend to let people move how they move, until I don't. Can be a double edged sword sometimes as you can imagine - you leave room for people to be people, but people can be unpredictable and taking preemptive action is best sometimes.
Thank you for responding. I'm taking in your perspective today.
This is part of why I actually think listing visitors is a bad feature. It ultimately promotes what I think is slightly paranoid overthinking. People should be able to browse the site in peace without worrying whether they are somehow offending somebody by looking at their profile too many times.
Imagine if Instagram or Facebook showed people a visitors list, the amount of paranoia and misinterpreting of completely normal and innocent behavior that would go on.
@CuddleWho, I’m with you. I am completely baffled by pros who dislike potential clients viewing their profile. Many claim they worry that their pictures are being used for nefarious purposes, but that seems overly paranoid to me.
On the subject of paranoia/ghosting/blocking, I am sometimes made EXTREMELY uneasy by folks asking too many “getting to know you” questions before meeting in person.
This may seem completely counterintuitive to some, but there is a particular breed of scammer out there who asks seemingly innocuous questions about day jobs, pets, siblings, hobbies, geography, travel, etc in order to seek out women’s social media profiles and then harass them. I have at least one persistent stalker whom I met here who haunts me outside of the site. It has made me very guarded about too much chit chat before a booking.
These types of questions have not led me to block someone yet, but it does make me very hesitant to interact, and I’ll admit to doing the fade out when questions turn voluminous and personal, even if they seem relatively innocent.
This may seem completely counterintuitive to some, but there is a particular breed of scammer out there who asks seemingly innocuous questions about day jobs, pets, siblings, hobbies, geography, travel, etc in order to seek out women’s social media profiles and then harass them. I have at least one persistent stalker who haunts me outside of the site in this way and it has made me very guarded about too much chit chat before a booking.
@BellaSera Yep, and with COVID being what it is, all types of unsavoury folks (especially scammers) are out in full force right now. I don't really see your viewpoint as counterintuitive when you consider this fact. This is exactly why I don't give out too many specific details about my life, job (all clients know is that it's administrative), or goings-on either. There is also a certain breed of manipulative person who will take advantage of the fact that a pro doesn't want to be found out as doing this work, or can't tell people in their lives what's going on if something bad does happen. So it's incredibly important for pros who this applies to, to work on building that support system if they need to stay a secret. Even if it's just here on this website.
I actually have a theory about the mindset of pros who get paranoid about people viewing their profile. It's probably nonsense but here it is...
I think a lot of women, both pros and enthusiasts, use the site completely passively and don't really browse the site at all. They probably do the same on other similar sites, like if they've been on OkCupid or whatever. They just make an account and wait for messages to come in, or maybe at most look at their visitors list and message visitors. And they've never really put any thought into what it may be like to take a more active approach to the site.
So when they see the same person visiting their profile multiple times, they feel personally targeted, like this person is stalking them or something. But in reality people using the site actively visit a ton of profiles. When I'm actively interested in finding new cuddlers, I may click on many profiles each day, a lot of which are probably the same ones every time.
Why might I not respond to your message but then still keep viewing your profile? There are tons of potential reasons. Maybe your location is not ideal for me, or maybe the days you're available don't work for me, or maybe I just arbitrarily decided I'd rather cuddle someone else this time. But every time I do a search your profile pic catches my eye and I don't remember the issue. So I click on your profile (along with the profiles of 20 other cuddlers) and then remember "Oh yeah, that's why I haven't cuddled with that person."
And it's very likely that eventually a cuddle could actually happen, that my schedule will change or I'll be in your area, or for whatever reason I'm willing to inconvenience myself to cuddle you. Except... if you blocked me, because for whatever inane reason you didn't like that I was looking at your profile (aka the advertisement that you placed here nominally for the specific purpose of getting people to look at it), then obviously that booking is not going to happen.
@CuddleWho Yeah, there does seem to be a little bit of an overlap between people viewing a profile and profile owner taking that way, way too personally. Almost as if they've spent no time (or maybe too much time overthinking) on other social sites. Especially when guys complain about other guys viewing their profiles, as if that threatens their sexual orientation or something. God, I miss those threads, wonder why one hasn't popped up in a while? They're probably right behind the passive-aggressive-whining-about-pro-pricing and boner threads as far as how easily they induce eyerolls.
To those I haven’t gotten around to profile stalking yet today I sincerely apologize I’m doing my best ... but in all seriousness if you’re searching your local area or one particular area in general on a regular you’re of course going to find yourself viewing the same profiles over and over so one shouldn’t be surprised or paranoid at someone visiting them on several occasions even without sending a message. If that person has a new picture up or it looks like they’ve gained some new Karma we’re going to click and see if there’s any additional updated info that will encourage us to book them !
@CuddleWho I think you are right about the way people use the site. I do many similar things. If you are a woman professional in London I would guess that I visit your page at least once a month, for one reason or another. I might visit it several times over the course of a day or two if I'm collecting data.
In other words, visits up to, say, three days a month are not really somebody looking at your profile at all. They are simply somebody using the site, and you are popping up in their search results.
As to your theory, I think there might be something in it. I do know from the dating app world that there are some women who have done a bit of dating but still have no clue about what it's like to be a man on such sites. (And yes, there is no shortage of men who don't understand what the typical woman's experience is.)
@plushdoll we always say 'listen to your gut'. If somebody's behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable, then I think you're right to block them even if you can't put your finger on why. Yes, you may lose the occasional genuine client with an unusual profile-viewing pattern. But more often than not you'll be better off.
Never been blocked - but I get what you mean.
A WEBSITE solution would be to add an option when blocking someone to explain why:
For example, you could have a list of reasons like:
A lot of platforms use this.. It could at least give the person some feedback as to why it happened and would even be useful information for cuddlecomfort.
I got blocked before by a 'pro' but i knew why. It was because she was agressive and i told her i was not ready to meet her.
The other thing that I forgot to mention is that people just block because that person doesn't live near them for a cuddle. Like....that's not a good reason to block. Some cuddlers even travel whether near or far. The block function is meant to end contact with a person you have a bad experience with to avoid drama. Because I've had people outside the US message me just because of something I said in a thread and they wanted to personally message me about it or just for a chat. That's totally fine. But if I blocked them then they wouldn't have been able to share their message to me. So...people may not just contact you regarding cuddling. It could even be moderators. Stop using the block button unless it's necessary.
I had somebody message me "WHAT DO YOU WANT" just because I clicked on his profile once. So I blocked him. I dont need that drama in my life.
@Mike403 He must have known you wanted someone to block, and he was just reaching out to provide it. Lol.
@Amortentia I could be wrong, but I think you get banned from the website if you block mods. So people better not be doing that. 😂
Can you see that your blocked? Do you get a notification
@soulofjaz no, you don't know until you try to view their profile.
@Catloaf I don't know if it's even possible to block them but what happens if one person you blocked earlier for no reason becomes a mod without your knowledge later because you blocked them and couldn't see that their profile changed to mod? Hmm. I guess block at your own risk.
Remember that the mods here are not faceless beaurocrats, they are people we know and love. And they all worship frequently and fervently at the altar of common sense.
My altar consists of uncommon sense, coffee, cooking, random acts of kindness, and wear-your-damn-mask mantras/get vaccinated. But thank you for that, @CuddleDuncan .
Let's just say blocking a mod is a one way experience - if we want to, we can/will contact you.