Is This A Full Time (and only) Job For Pro Cuddlers?

elpaso87

I am curious how many pro cuddlers on here who do this full time (and don't have another job). I'm talking about making $20k, $25K, $30K, etc. (after taxes).

I see a lot of people charge $100 and more and I'm always curious how much money pro cuddlers actually make per year.

Can most pro cuddlers support themselves doing this full time or is this just extra money for some people?

Sheena123

If I stayed in Florida full time instead of just 6 months every year, I definitely could do cuddling full time. There are a lot of people in Florida that keep me afloat. Unfortunately in Canada, I need to have a part time job 😕

elpaso87

@Sheena123 Out of curiosity, why do you live in one country half the year and another country the other half of the year? My female friend asked me about this site since I mentioned it to her and she thought about joining the site. She was asking how much pro cuddlers make on here and I had no clue. How much do you make (after taxes) in 6 months working in Florida? Can you support yourself in Florida in the 6 months without working another job?

CuddleWho

IME for the large majority it's just a part-time, extra income thing. But there are absolutely people who do it full time and make a living, especially in cuddle hubs like the San Francisco area.

Sheena123

I’m dual citizenship and I violently hate Canadian winters so during the winter, I live in Florida.
I won’t give an exact number but in the 5-6 months I cuddle in Florida, I make over $20,000 but less than $30,000.

But I know plenty of pro cuddlers that have a full time job. It just depends on your area and how much time you put into it.

elpaso87

@sheena123 Are those numbers after taxes? I imagine you pay around 15% in taxes? How much do you make with virtual cuddling vs. in-person cuddling? My friend was thinking about first starting with virtual cuddling.

Sheena123

I don’t feel comfortable mentioning specific numbers so I’m leaving it at that.

I will say that virtual is only 10-15% of what I make. It’s mostly physical cuddling. I get a lot of cuddlers that become established and book 6-8 hours almost weekly. It took me 2 years to get to this point. You need to establish yourself in the community and be willing to drop almost everything to accept cuddles, especially in the beginning. In Florida, I’m fine enough in that area that I can now turn down quite a few of I’ve already planned something. It helps that after a couple years or doing this, I am one of the highest karma ratings in Florida so it does get me noticed more I find. At least that’s what a lot of the cuddlers coming to me say. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of time/energy. But very rewarding if you’re good at it and genuinely enjoy it.

elpaso87

Well it sounds that at the very best after taxes you will be lucky to get a little over $15k for 6 months of work. But, like @CuddleWho said, it's mostly extra money for the vast majority of people (my guess is for most pros it's a few hundred a month). Also, it's tough when you're relying on others for money. Thanks for the replies. My friend already has a good paying job. I will relay this information to her, but I don't think this is for her (considering it involves a lot of time).

Sheena123

It pays my bills lol 😂
It definitely takes time so if she’s still thinking of it, start small and keep it as a side gig. 👋👋

elpaso87

@Sheena123 Yeah, but I would scared relying on cuddling to pay my bills. My friend makes $60k a year (after taxes). She doesn't need the money and doesn't need a side gig. She was semi-interested when I told her some pros are charging $100 or more on here and wanted me to see if it was worth it. It doesn't seem like it's worth it (based on the time involved).

Sheena123

Makes sense ☺️

CuddleDuncan

@elapso87 sounds like your friend should stay where she is for two different reasons. Firstly, it will take at least two years to build up to the same level of income, and that's assuming she's in an appropriate area. It's also going to be a lot of effort. There is no reason why she can't make more from cuddling in the long run, but she'll be trailblazing.

Secondly, the best cuddlers don't think about the money. They do it because they want to, and the payment is little more than a necessary evil. This is why nobody makes any real money out of cuddling. To do so requires that you are a good cuddler (obviously). It also requires that you want to make more money, and have the business and marketing skills to do so. That package of attributes is unusual if not rare because they border on being mutually exclusive.

Nonetheless, $120/h * 20 h/week * 50 weeks a year = $120,000 gross.

I would guess that your estimate that a typical professional averages hundreds per month (not thousands) is about right.

ubergigglefritz

@elpaso87 as @CuddleDuncan says, the best cuddlers do this because they want to, not because they think "ooh, they make $100/hr?" As was also mentioned, it takes a lot of work to make this a real business. It's not "easy" to make this into full-time fully supportive work. You really need to be of an entrepreneurial mind and really love it. I'm not the perfect cuddle pro match for everyone, but I'm confident in my clients' opinion, ha. I'm also someone who LOVES wearing all the hats of owning my own business. I don't do well as an employee, I'm much more suited for working for myself. I get to run things how I want, exercise all of my ideas and thoughts, see what works and what doesn't, adjust, learn, grow, work when I want to, and am completely in control of what happens (unless there's a pandemic, ha). Business creation is my bread and butter. I'll get sucked into working on my website or business plans for HOURS. But I'm also completely in love with cuddling and my clients and would continue seeing my clients even if I won the lottery and didn't "need" the money anymore. Running this as a business is the perfect combination of my head and heart. Cuddling is my heart, but the business stuff is my head. I was a math major, have experience in computer programming, but most anyone who has seen me will tell you that I truly love what I do.

So I would say that most professionals do this as a side job, ranging from "anything extra is awesome" to people who can really use the extra money to pay their bills. Then there are people who do this solely, but don't make bank (this is me). Then there is the very rare professional who does this full-time and does VERY well at it. That takes a lot of work, usually involves eventually either hiring sub-cuddlers or developing education materials or classes for new cuddlers, and it helps to be in a prime location (either one which has VERY high supply of clients to even absorb many cuddlers or a location with many clients in need but no professionals yet). I know quite a few people with pretty sizable businesses in the industry. Every professional is different, offers a unique experience, operates their business differently, but the common threads for success if someone wants to do this solely is a true LOVE of the work and their clients, and a skill or willingness to learn or hire out for the business side of things. There is no get rich quick scheme that really works without any effort. @CuddleDuncan is correct in that it is a rare combination to have all of these skills and interests / passions, so most people have to really work at one or the other (or hire out) and it's simply the case that if you don't start out with a real passion for cuddling and acceptance of others, it will be a struggle. Much easier to learn or hire out for the other facets of business than it is to learn how to be a truly authentic cuddler. My opinion. O:-)

Catloaf

@ubergigglefritz

but the common threads for success if someone wants to do this solely is a true LOVE of the work and their clients

My opinion is that this is not merely your opinion. This is most certainly fact in the collective world of pro cuddling. I think anyone who understands and is doing this work seriously (or wants/plans to) would agree with you. Your post...nail on head.

CuddleDuncan

My opinion is that @Catloaf's opinion of @ubergigglefritz's opinion - i.e. that her opinion is not merely an opinion - is spot on.

xandriarain

I am in the minority as a full-time cuddler but I know several others like me. I like many who start cuddling just needed to make some extra money because my day job was not covering my bills. I signed up for Cuddle Comfort as a pro on a Monday got fired that Wednesday and Cuddle Comfort finally accepted me Thursday. I had three job interviews lined up that Friday but all were sucky sales jobs and I made more my first weekend as a cuddler than I would have in a week in one of those sales jobs so I decided to stick with it and see where it took me. I was also 24 at the time and just a year out of college with no real career going for me and an undergrad degree that is pretty worthless without an advanced degree. I also had the fact that I live in a good area for cuddling and have a pretty face which helped me become very popular in the cuddling world. Basically, my life was chaotic, and falling apart and cuddling was a last-ditch effort to survive, I didn't have much to lose except for the roof over my head. I think most people have normal-ish lives when they decide to start cuddling and they only decide to make cuddling their full-time career if they do really well. Not everyone will get enough clients to become full-time nor do they want to deal with the pressure. After the initial honeymoon period when you are new and everyone wants to book you, it is hard work to keep your cuddling practice going and it can be really unstable and stressful. It is also a lot of emotional labor and and can be exhausting at times. There have been times I have ignored red flags and took on a client I shouldn't have because I was desperate. Usually, those sessions went terribly and left me with a bit of PTSD. Having another job makes it much easier to be choosy and not let financial need cloud your judgment.

CuddleDuncan

That's quite a story @xandriarain. I find it hard to put feelings into words and so I can't really express what I'm feeling towards you right now. A mixture of admiration, affection, sympathy and I'm not sure what else. You've gone from being somebody who was a bit desperate to somebody who is now helping to move the profession forward by opening your own cuddling room.

I'm also really glad you told it. There are still too many people in this forum who think cuddling professionally is easy money. It might have been for one weekend, but in the long run it really isn't.

Catloaf

@xandriarain Hey, I see you. And it can't have been easy at all, and clearly it still isn't because of the doings of people who didn't respect your service. Hoping that you continue to have success, in whatever way that means to you. I didn't get into cuddling for the money, but I did get into it almost five years ago not understanding fully or really caring what it was, and what went into it. Even going so far as to be one of those awful "adults will be adults" sound pieces. Experience taught me so much, just like it taught you. I relate so much to what you wrote as far as the exhaustion, the trial and error, and the lasting mental effects of going about things in ways that aren't healthy for us. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't skip training and think I could do things my own way.

It took me a lot of personal reflection, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of time to properly integrate and eventually believe in this community, though it hasn't led me to doing this full time (won't ever attempt to do that again - it burnt me out). Many will read your situation and think that you're still only here for money (which in and of itself is not wrong, we all need to put food on the table). I see someone who's grown and come to some very realistic conclusions, but also intends to thrive in spite.

ubergigglefritz

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to or needing the money. I was in the middle of a sabbatical when I found it and was actively seeking what my business / work would be. I just find it hard to believe that someone could be a quality cuddler without also loving the work at the end of the day. If your sole motivation is money and you merely "tolerate" cuddling with strangers, those are the client experiences I hear about and which I wouldn't want to experience myself if I were seeking a cuddler. 😔🤷‍♀️

CuddleWho

I just find it hard to believe that someone could be a quality cuddler without also loving the work at the end of the day. If your sole motivation is money and you merely "tolerate" cuddling with strangers

I think this is kind of a false dichotomy. I am confident that the large majority of pros I've seen are mainly motivated by money. But I'm also confident that most of them really enjoyed cuddling with me and have more-or-less positive feelings about cuddling in general.

ubergigglefritz

@CuddleWho then it sounds like the cuddlers you're talking about aren't merely "tolerating" cuddling with strangers. If they enjoy it. I'm talking about people who are just lying there waiting for it to be over so they can get paid and leave. That does NOT sound like an enjoyable session to me. 🤷‍♀️

CuddleDuncan

@CuddleWho into which category would you place these professionals?

xandriarain

I should add that I love to cuddle and usually wanted more cuddles than my past romantic partners could handle. I am a very anxious and needy person and cuddling is one of the only things that makes me feel comforted. I also got my degree in psychology and wanted to become a therapist because I wanted to help people. What kept me away when I first heard about cuddling was my ex who did not want me cuddling strangers, not knowing what the clients and sessions would be like and thinking there wasn’t enough demand to make it a full time job. I do love the work I do and I deeply care about most of my clients except for a few bad eggs who push boundaries. I have a handful of clients who I have not seen in months and I genuinely miss them and wish they would book another session so I could enjoy their company and conversation again and I often follow up with clients to see how they’re doing because I genuinely care about them. The thing is I would not be able to do the work I’m doing if I wasn’t being paid for it. Professional cuddling was something I had an interest in for a while but it took a moment of desperation to have the courage to try something that is relatively unknown and unaccepted in mainstream society.

CuddleWho

@CuddleDuncan I don't understand the question. Which professionals? Category?

CuddleDuncan

@CuddleWho

I was referring to this bit:

I am confident that the large majority of pros I've seen are mainly motivated by money. But I'm also confident that most of them really enjoyed cuddling with me and have more-or-less positive feelings about cuddling in general.

Which category(ies) would you say these professionals fall into?

ubergigglefritz

@CuddleDuncan mixing thread topics. 😉

CuddleWho

@CuddleDuncan

I see, I guess you're referring to the categories from your other thread.

While most people I've cuddled are C, I'd say the general description of "mainly motivated by money but also fairly positive about cuddling" actually applies across the board, even to D, Q, and Z cuddlers. (Not joking, I'm pretty sure even the cuddlers who stole from me actually enjoyed cuddling with me.)

I've met one cuddler who very clearly did not enjoy cuddling her clients. Moreover she was 100% convinced that no cuddlers enjoyed cuddling. She was secretly a Q although I didn't realize it at first. I've met a couple others who I came to feel were actually fairly uncomfortable being physically close to me, but they put on a show of acting like they were okay with it. I'd say these were both Bs.

To be honest while I understand the idea behind your categories I actually think most cuddlers don't fit cleanly into one category. Going by the descriptions you provided I'd say most cuddlers kind of overlap between 2 or 3 categories. Unfortunately I don't want to elaborate about what I mean publicly on this site.

CuddleDuncan

Yes, sorry folks, getting a bit confused between threads.

I will copy your post into the other thread and continue from there.

@xandriarain I know what you mean about missing clients. I'm a tutor, and sometimes I really miss my kids after the placement has ended, particularly if it has ended suddenly or unexpectedly. Sadly that's more common than it should be.

nurturingman

@xandriarain When you say “full-time,” how many hours a week are we talking?

@CuddleDuncan I say this cheekily but with love: you’re not answering the question as a pro, just as a guy who can multiply numbers. 😉 Your calculations are purely hypothetical, and I’m afraid they may encourage unreasonable expectations. Unless you have spent 50 weeks a year cuddling clients 20 hours a week, you can’t speak from experience, and your maths might be misleading. I respect that you want to help professional cuddlers and the cuddling profession. I think you might do that more effectively by letting pros speak from experience.

I would love to know just how many hours pros have cuddled with clients in a day, week, month, or year, and for how many years. My interest is in how sustainable the work is without reaching burnout. The answer to my question would also answer the OP’s question about earnings.

Bella_Sera

In my experience, it is possible for a popular pro in a large city that is not overly saturated with other pro cuddlers to log 20-25 hours per week if they are genuinely good at cuddling, consistently follow up with booking requests, and maintain a healthy roster of regulars.**

Pros with access to multiple metro areas may be able to consistently do this amount or more, but as @xandriarain said, the work is not generally consistent, and can have a “feast or famine” quality at most times.

@nurturingman
As a part-time cuddler with a flexible day job who currently lives in a small city, I definitely have busy weeks like this, but it’s usually 1-2 super busy weeks per month with a more moderate schedule the rest of the time. In periods where I am able to host more overnight cuddles (such as holiday breaks), it is easy to hit this number or higher, but it can feel a bit manic, as the time spent “on the job” is not just cuddling, but also cleaning and prepping my space and myself, plus answering messages and responding to inquiries.

Correspondence and scheduling actually take MUCH more time/dedication than most realize. I wouldn’t say it is 1:1 versus time spent actually cuddling, but sometimes the ratio of cuddling to messaging can feel like 1:2 or 1:3 (though I admit, I don’t formally track it). Messaging is also somewhat unpredictable and the need to be consisteny available can be quite intrusive on personal time.

**With the caveat that I am over 35 and live in flyover country, I would guess that numbers akin to what @CuddleDuncan is describing would be very difficult to achieve with just cuddling UNLESS you live in an area saturated with travelers (such as NYC or Las Vegas) or travel yourself multiple times per month.

When I travel to a new area, I can easily book solid from 7 am - 2 am each day of a 3-4 day trip if I’m willing to forego some sleep (booking a combo of some short and some long sessions with an hour between for showering/changing sheets, etc). Overnights can further boost that number. This is clearly not sustainable on a regular basis. For me it’s not so much the emotional toll of cuddling (although sometimes that struggle is real), but rather the physical toll.

My major complaints after a long day or week are repetitive stress injuries like numbness in my hands or tennis elbow (from massage) and back pain. If you wonder why the hourly rate is so high, this is actually one explanation. It would be beyond exhausting to cuddle 40 hours per week and charging $20-30/hour would have most folks making minimum wage after accounting for non-cuddling time and other expenses.

When cuddlers seek to take income to the next level, they must typically offer instruction (such as ebooks or online courses). I have also read interviews with cuddlers who were Licensed Massage Therapists, Estheticians, or Energy Workers (reiki, etc.) who could double their weekly income by offering adjacent services (facials, healings, massages, lymph draining). Switching up activities like this would help a lot.

In terms of psychic burnout, I don’t think pro cuddlers deal with anything even half as taxing as say a social worker, divorce lawyer, funeral director, or even a wedding planner. Often, I’m giving someone the best and most relaxing part of their day—that process usually recharges my batteries rather than depleting them. That said, I do find that after several days of intense cuddling in a row, I basically get “touch saturated,” and can become a little standoffish around partners, family, and friends. This makes me feel like a poorer version of myself, and so occasional breaks (of days/weeks) are very necessary to restore balance.

nurturingman

@BellaSera THANK YOU!

I really appreciate the time and energy you spent describing your work as a professional cuddler. Your account of professional experience helps me and other new (or even veteran) pros greatly.