If a session is booked and agreed upon (four days prior) with a cuddler, then they don’t respond to a 24 hour prior confirmation request (as they requested), is it appropriate to leave karma? Thanks
No.
You shouldn't leave Karma until after the session, or after the time the session was booked for.
In the meantime, please accept my sympathies. Don't take it personally, you're not the first.
@ CuddleDuncan,
Thank You for the encouraging words.
PB
While we’re on the subject … what would be appropriate karma for a no show? It seems like the 1 to 5 system is not as relevant in that case, since there was no actual meeting. Might be helpful to be able to bypass the star(s) selection or select a no show check box. Just a thought.
@cualtzin
A "No Show" box for Karma would be useful, if it could be prevented from being abused.
@CharlesThePoet You're right. So many good ideas in life, never implemented because of the potential for misuse/abuse.
Karma is tricky. It’s very difficult to leave a less than five star review on this website because you will often get a retaliation karma, hence tarnishing your own reputation. In many instances if someone is a no-show you have no way of knowing if they genuinely had a good reason or not. For me it’s just not worth it to leave bad karma because this is my livelihood I can’t afford a retaliation karma. If someone is seriously a threat to this community I report them. If someone was just a little bit rude or inconsiderate or not your cup of tea it’s better to just move on rather then create drama over it.
@xandriarain
Which, sadly, makes karma nearly worthless as an actual way to determine what sort of cuddler someone is.
A bit like YELP reviews.
Which is too bad.
@xandriarain @CharlesThePoet Yes, karma does need to be handled delicately. My experiences here on the site have (fortunately) ranged from "OK" to "Pretty Amazing". Yet they all reflect the same five star rating. My most pleasant interactions are usually the result of a higher level of compatibility. So it seems unfair to leave lesser karma just because we're not so much in sync. Maybe the solution for me is to be more thoughtful in the comments section. If all my comments are similarly upbeat, then it's difficult to distinguish between them. And sometimes I do want to highlight a particularly meaningful experience. But to make it stand out, it seems like I would have to go over the top with praise. And that doesn't make sense.
Getting back to the topic of no show / no response: I once had a cuddler cancel about two hours before our scheduled time. Of course I had been looking forward to it, but no big deal. Life Happens. I moved on. She contacted me a few days later and asked if I would like to reschedule. So we make plans. And the day of the scheduled session she drops out, No response. This was the one time I thought of leaving less than 5 star feedback. But what would be the point? After all, I can't judge someone that I do not know. So you're right: "better to just move on rather than create drama over it."
I actually have seen and think you are allowed to leave low Karma for no shows as long as you post an explanation of why you did so along with it. I’ve seen 1 ⭐️ karma where the person explains this particular cuddler was a now show and that’s why they got it.
@xandriarain Plus, if a client retaliates against a pro for leaving negative Karma, that client can just delete their account and create a new one without the bad Karma attached. Meanwhile, the pro has received negative Karma on their established business account. They can't just delete and recreate it like the client did.
It's tough. We can take down Karma that's obviously retaliatory, but no cuddle session's 100% perfect - If the client retaliates by leaving bad Karma alongside a review about stuff they genuinely didn't like about the session, which they wouldn't have posted if the pro hadn't given them bad Karma first, it muddies the waters a lot.
@CharlesThePoet I agree with this. I put absolutely no weight in Karma if I'm figuring out whether to meet someone from here. I only go by what they've written in their profile, in our on-site conversation, and in the forums.
This is so interesting!! @TheNewNovelist sorry to hear about your PRO NO SHOW or really "No confirmation show" I do agree that karma is tricky for quite a few reasons. As far as Pro's go.... If I had someone booked and then they flaked right before the session, with or without a deposit, I would like to be able to notate that in their karma. Personally I would probably give it a few days just in case there was a crazy mix-up or possible miscommunication. Even if they are amazing, it would be good to know if they're a little scattered so a potential client could weigh the options.
@squeakytoy HOW ABSOLUTELY INTERESTING!!! I am completely the opposite. As an ENTHUSIAST I look at karma to see if they've been able to communicate and show up. It doesn't necessarily matter in regards to how much I think I am going to be able to CONNECT with them or have CUDDLE CHEMISTRY but if they don't have any karma at all then I know I may be the first person to meet with them. It changes my level of..... guardedness maybe? I don't put 100% faith in it because I know its a flawed system, but it helps create a certain amount of perspective.
i.e. I was meeting with an enthusiast out of state. It was a last minute find but we completely connected in messages. 1 good sign. No karma. 1 bad sign. He wanted to meet closer to my space but was nervous about cuddling outside. When I asked about having met other people he gave me 3 contacts that he claimed would give rave reviews about respectfulness etc. but that he didn't like giving or receiving karma. I followed my instinct and reached out to the three PROS. They confirmed his meeting with them and that he was amazing. This specific thing allowed me to have more certainty that he would be as he said and I met under circumstances that I usually wouldn't. We met and had an amazing day and still keep in contact now. Karma would have made it easier but it still worked out because the PRO's responded so quickly.
@cualtzin it is tricky you are so right. I do think there is beauty in finding the positives about someone even if they aren't your "cup of tea" as long as they were respectful and kind etc. I will give 5 stars if they are a good human even if we don't ever wind up connecting as cuddlers. If an enthusiast gets scared/flaky and doesn't show that is a little different. I have a little more compassion for the "new" to this idea and that people might get cold feet. I don't give negative karma but I also wouldn't make plans with them again because I think it is a wast of someone's time and I don't have a desire for that kind of disrespect in my life. Doesn't make them a bad cuddler (or human), they're just not healthy for me.
Maybe the solution for me is to be more thoughtful in the comments section.
THIS makes sense. Very very wise.
@xandriarain , @CharlesThePoet , @sillysassy ,
Karma is tricky however a less than 4 star can be written. In my experience, I try to give karma to those who I really like. If someone gives a non - satisfactory performance I can give a less satisfactory karma or no karma at all. There are ways to do it.
As far as no - show's I would try to contact the person before writing a karma to find out what happened. If they contact you and have a good reason I would not write a bad karma. If we reschedule and it happens again, it's warranted.
I personally use karma as a way to determine if I want to cuddle with someone. It can serve as some kind of guide if done properly.
Speaking of Karmas I recently got into* a situation where I feel somewhat uncomfortable with Karmas. Because if I cuddled with someone prior to him becoming a pro, once he becomes a pro... and had left a karma or vice versa it could make it seem like I hired him?
Not that I see something wrong with being a pro or hiring one. Though wouldn't be accurate in such a case. I think there's a feature for clients/pros to have "repeat client" on their karma. Though is there a feature to differentiate non pro vs pro karma?
I suppose that's a tricky one to tackle.
@Lovelight Wow, that is truly a tricky one. I wouldn't worry much about it though. As far as communities go, this one is fairly non-judgmental. When I first joined, I thought maybe I could cuddle with enthusiasts. Then I realized that wasn't happening. I tried reaching out to some professionals in my home city. I love the Sounds of Silence, but not when I'm trying to schedule a cuddle session. I ended up driving 3 hours away to Houston. And I encountered some wonderful human beings. I don't mind admitting this in a public forum. Because really, it doesn't make a difference to me what people might think. I'm just focused on finding some beautiful moments while I'm still on this Earth.
@cualtzin that's good, I am glad you found good connections. If I were to hire I wouldn't mind that showing, it's just the inaccuracy that irks me, because it can also lead to people thinking pros/ have more success than they actually do.
Though if a solution can't be figured out for it, which so far looks to me there can't. Then meh, should be okay.
@Lovelight
I would think that would be one of the few ways for an aspiring male pro to get established.
While still an "enthusiast", hire a lot of local pros. You get cuddling experience, becoming more comfortable with being intimate with multiple strangers. You could also use your time with the pros to ask questions about positions, mood setting, etc. See first hand how they handle communication, boundaries, any props (candles, music, incense, etc...)
And, presuming you are in fact respectful and someone who might one day actually become a pro, you would be gaining Karma onto your profile from professionals.
In the unlikely event someone was looking for a professional male cuddler in your area your profile, with it's 10+ 4 Star Karma with comments, would look fantastic.
This is a great topic. Karma can be great when handled properly, and it has helped on both sides- to see if someone has had successful sessions before when I am meeting a new cuddle client for the first time and to put that new cuddle client at ease if they are new or unsure of hiring a pro or just to give them an idea of my cuddle style and cuddle experiences.
@Lovelight and @CharlesThePoet ~ valid point and discussions! I had this occur where a new male pro hired me as a pro as well and the session went great- I got to help answer his questions as you described and guided him on how to handle different parts of a session and the flow and communication as well as safety protocol and the reasoning behind it and how he could apply that to his sessions to help his potential clients feel safe and comfortable as well. So all around, was a success and very relaxing session too.
I agree, it might be helpful to show if someone were hired as a pro, but perhaps it's good as well to keep the privacy feature as you can always share with anyone what you wish and this gives you some privacy and confidentiality as a pro if perhaps another pro doesn't wish others to know they hired someone else for whatever reason.
I personally would like to know if someone no-shows without any cancellation notice or communication, so seeing that karma would be useful to me and would save me time. Risking retaliation karma is unfortunate, so I'd understand if someone chose to ignore and move on. This is especially true for professionals since a client can just delete their account and start fresh, but professioanls cannot do the same. Mods can, however, get involved if the karma left for you is unfair.
Some people's profiles do have karma saying they were a no show, but I understand that there are two sides to every story, it's just one more bit of information I take into account. If a professional with lots of positive karma and one one star review saying they were a no show, without any other evidence I would be more inclined to suspect that the negative reviewer's feedback isn't entirely truthful. And I would book them without worry.
If someone's profile had one positive karma and one karma saying they were a no show, I'd be leery and extra cautious when gauging them in conversation, or just skip over them.
If its already established that the karma star rating is all but useless, maybe do away with an average rating altogether. Almost all karma I've ever seen is two numbers, either a 5star or a 1star. Just list karma as a flat positive or negative with neither contributing to an accumulated average, displayed in green or red type when the cuddler's karma is read, and having the option for the cuddler to respond to a negative review directly underneath the posting.