@rayellis55 WELCOME TO THE SITE!!!!
@Ironman294 AGREEEEEEEEE!!!!! @rayellis55 I love the two pics you have of your smile in the yellow and red shirt!!! It makes you seem approachable instead of super serious or sad (And personally...... bathroom pics in front of a urinal aren't my most favorite but of course you didn't ask about what to have IN your profile just how to get them ATTRACTED to it. Sorry)
@Lovelight YES!!!! Maybe "freesupremepizzaforall" would be even BETTER!!!! 😂🤣😁
Like @quixotic_life said and is mentioned quite a bit..... PARTICIPATING in a kind and respectful manner will get you POSITIVE attention..... When people are narrowminded Myopic jerks...... well that gets attention too.
@CuddleDuncan actually I have to disagree with you here.
And how does 'being outgoing' - which is a character trait, or a behaviour pattern, attract people to your profile?
I think being "outgoing" on a public forum is extremely noticeable. The more than you interact with others on the threads, the more people see you and what you are all about. Being "outgoing" in this world where we only have pictures and words as our initial interactions are how we SEE the other. This is the only way to invite people to engage with you PRO or enthusiast. Also.... as much as I appreciate you always giving an EXTREMELY detailed road map as to the best way YOU believe to get cuddles..... I don't feel like you are offering much in the way of varied approaches. Unfortunately I think you are speaking as though there is only ONE WAY to approach this. i.e. Photo - By far the most important thing.COMPLETELY AGREE THAT ITS THE FIRST THING PEOPLE NOTICE The big takeaway here is that if you are a man trying to attract women then smiling is a disaster. COMPLETELY DISAGREE ON ABOUT A THOUSAND LEVELS I don't want to sound like a jerk but even though I think you are spot on about respect and learning/reading threads etc. I think you have moved very close to presenting a notion that there is ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY to connect. I know that's a lot of shouty capitals but I obviously feel very strongly about this.
I do enjoy seeing a close pic as the profile pic because every time you pop up in the forums we get to see your lovely heartwarming smile. Having lots of different pics is a great idea.... I'm just partial to seeing people's faces because it feels like you are connecting a little bit more in this online world.
@FunCartel hahahahahahhaa
I have never had a woman say “stop smiling it burns!”
Yes..... Studies can show lots of things but if you are trying to attract cuddlers.... talking to cuddlers is the way to know what is deemed as attractive.
@Cuddlewho
There is no more than a teensy tiny market for male pros. No matter what you do to your profile. Men are abundant, women are scarce. Therefore people will pay to spend time with women but not with men.
Again.... this isn't really OP's question. He's not asking if Male Pro's are a necessary part of the cuddleverse, and to say that women WON'T spend money to be with a man is simply untrue. I have paid for a Male Pro and I have seen them do well. Your perception is an overgeneralization and this poor guy is just trying to get a bit of info on ONE aspect of it. I just wish we could find a way to celebrate people trying to reach out and do something to help the cuddle universe and possibly make a wage at the same time.
Awwwwww @Teddythtcuddles THANK YOU FOR YOUR SMILE!!!! 😁😁😁 And welcome to the site (side note.... I'm planning a visit to NYC next year and you have just gotten added to my FAVORITES list!!!!)
I’m just here for some pizza…
@sillysassy
actually I have to disagree with you here.
We're not disagreeing at all, your answer to my point is something I hadn't thought of in that way, and I agree with it absolutely. Thank you!
Unfortunately I think you are speaking as though there is only ONE WAY to approach this.
I do write like that sometimes, but only when I only know one way or believe there is only one way. I always love to see other approaches. There are few things that delight me more than being proved wrong.
As for the men smiling thing, I thought I was clear that I was only talking about the main profile picture and I was only talking about what to do if you want more women to click on it, but a couple of people have said the same thing so obviously I wasn't. My big post on men professionals explicitly suggests including smiling photos in the set. Not having any just makes you look grumpy.
And I didn't mind the capitals at all, they are part of what makes you, you.
I would totally prefer a smiling photo front and center for any business I’m about to choose. Especially being a pro cuddler where being friendly and making a connection are important. I need to see a smiling face for me to feel comfortable if I’m going to go ahead and put myself in a vulnerable state. Smiling pics, all the time! I want that to be the first thing I see! As a woman, I know that a smiling photo helps open us up a bit more and feel comfortable. If your first photo to present yourself is a solemn photo with no warmth or smile, guaranteed, that will push women away.
This discussion goes to show, that we all have factors that affect and effect how others see us.
Perception, it's a funny thing. But that's why we all have such unique realities to things.👌
I prefer a look of nervous trepidation . Perhaps some grimacing, as though the person has just stepped on a soft piece of chewed gum
"To smile or not to smile" hmmm.
How about we all find some middle ground. First off it is up to the individual and what he wants at the end of the day. So these are just suggestions if you're still struggling with whatever it is you're doing and open to feedback.
Smile. Even somewhat smiling helps. Most importantly check the state of your emotions and mind before snapping a picture. Think positive, a happy memory, so you can have a natural good smile and energy.
Whatever you decide, avoid looking all stressed out or quite unfriendly in your pictures. Looking unfriendly looks something like this:
None of this means you always have to smile or can't be true to your feelings with others*, as that's unhealthy. Though a picture is static, similarly a profile is too. We aren't seeing you in real time to see your face's best angles or the variety of your expressions, personality, etc. So you need to have your photo give a good glimpse into all that jazz.
I say, if you're gonna have a photo or two of you, you might as well put some effort to make it the best it can be and additionally try to have someone take it or them for you too. Preferably not just selfies.
Or at least give the illusion that someone did if you really can't find someone to by using a shutter or something. It is harmless and virtually nobody is gonna ask who took it anyway. Unless it comes out looking world class, then you might have explaining to do. 😅
Have the angle good, colors, emotions/expression, and scenery pleasant. A bit of variety helps.
So....... in some photos you can have a nice noticable smile and in others just get in a happy state with a bit of smile or relaxed expression. Everyone wins?.
@MxSmith your photos are more than sufficient at conveying your warmth. So I'd say you're good there.
When someone tells me to smile, I do. Then they quickly figure out the real reason why I don't smile and prefer to smirk or stay close-lipped. Know any good dentists? Lol.
I was hit in the face with a golf club as a child which affected how my teeth grew in so I have a snaggle in the front . I also live on coffee which I know isn't great for them. And 20 something years ago I woke up with Bells Palsy , which I still have a touch of facial paralysis on the left side that is not noticeable but if I open my eyes really wide or smile really big it looks a little funny like a lazy eye or something.
While reading this forum I actually clicked on @Teddythtcuddles because even the tiny thumbnail of his smiling face made me want to know him more. For me as a platonic cuddler -I’m looking for a laidback personality and a kind/happy person.
I think being outgoing is a great suggestion, but to be honest, most of my clients have told me that I said on my profile is really what drew them in. I wrote from my heart.
As for the smiling/no smiling, everyone has their reasons for why they do what they do. I took my own headshot (which is my profile picture) based on the recommendations by Cuddlist. I think professional looking photos also help.
I've had clients comment that they can tell I'm "the real deal" (not offering services that are against the site's ToS or just in it for the money) based on my photo and my sincerity of my profile.
@mekkiec From a pro who currently has to take her own photos till my designated photographer friend gets some time off work to help me out, I applaud ya! Looking great, especially that main photo. That is marketability at work!
@Catloaf Thanks! Your profile pic looks so peaceful!
I had 20 mins between dropping off a dress I had altered for a customer (I also sew professionally) and when I had to leave for vintage dance class. I sat on my bed with my tripod and my phone on it and took a bunch using my Bluetooth shutter. They didn't all turn out awesome (some were quite hilarious since I accidentally clicked when I wasn't ready), but I was glad to get something I could work with. I just did a little editing using Lightroom on my phone during breaks in class.
Being nice-looking probably helps. I'm only half-joking, lol...people respond to visual stimuli.
Speaking of driving traffic to your profile, here's my morning's blog post, which I published to Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Tumblr:
Did you know platonic cuddling is a thing now? Yep, there's a whole community of cuddlers who want to cuddle and… that's it, just cuddle! To ask me re: cuddling, check out my profile, https://cuddlecomfort.com/nurturingman, and check out the community! 🤗
I often wonder why men don’t smile in their profile photos. To be honest, lots of men’s photos are a huge turn-off. I’m not sure which is worse, no photo at all or a photo that makes a man look uninviting and sometimes downright creepy.
If someone has never had a paying client, are they really a professional? Being a professional means getting paid for what one does. I could decide I’m a professional actor but if I’ve never had a paying gig, it’s a fantasy, not a reality.
Is the question how to get more traffic to one’s profile or how to get paying clients? They are two different questions. I don’t have an answer to either.
[Edit: I’m retracting my reply so as not to add to any derailment of this thread.]
Be yourself … there is only one of you in this world! 🌎 highlight it in your profile & those who take a liking to it will gravitate towards you 🌌
A big smile doesn’t hurt
@Babichev The question is not what makes a professional a professional, but I do want to point out one thing about how this site works: One has to have a “Pro” account before they can charge a fee for cuddling. Doing the reverse can get one banned.
@cuddles_ndream you are so right! I don't look at a smile much because those can be faked.
Just being real
I agree that is the key. Those who are your tribe will find you based on your authenticity.
@1Cuddybuddy4u Thank you soo much !! 🌌
Just being real I agree that is the key. Those who are your tribe will find you based on your authenticity. 💎
Be honest about yourself and your intentions. I mentioned my Asexuality and work in Film/TV in my profile and happy to say there have been some sparks of luck. Also to have patience. I agree with the others on this, have a warm profile pic. I am not particularly good looking so I should at least show some Joy!
I'm new to the site and I am loving this thread! If anyone would be so kind as to look at my profile, I would love any guidance to make my profile approachable. I'm kind of stuck on the photos because I am a model but I'm not sure if I should use any of my professional photos (the ones I have currently are selfies and one was taken by a friend).
Welcome @keiraleilani! Your profile is fine, and I think the profile picture - which is the most important thing - is particularly lovely. However I would consider removing the pink one. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it may inspire idiots to make non-platonic comments.
You don't need any more pictures than you have, and you can add to the portfolio over the course of time. You are right not to use the professional photos, that can be a nightmare of a minefield. However, there is no harm in asking the copyright owner nicely. After all, you are not selling or distributing the pictures, you're just using them for your own purposes.
Look at the profiles of long established professionals, and those with lots of Karma, and learn from them. Don't copy anything verbatim, but by all means nick their ideas and use them in your own way. I happen to know that @Healing_Hugs' is one of those which is very successful.
Good luck!
Thank you @CuddleDuncan ! I'm not concerned about photographers being the issue, I have permission to use anything I own. I just meant that professional photos may not be as personal or sincere. And the pink photo is very tame compared to my other work, so I think that's a good rule of thumb to not use anything from my modeling!! I appreciate the insight.
On a platonic site, a good rule of thumb for pictures is to think "would this be appropriate to use if I were posting an ad offering nanny services or would I submit this picture if I were auditioning for children's show?"
Cool. Sounds like you're making the right call!