it seems like a risky thing to do isn't it?? they have no karma for 2 years but want a deposit and you're the one paying for a hotel room?
Been here for two years? No karma? I know a lot of pros who don’t care about karma, but dang. Two years and nothing to back her up? I’d say no..
I don’t like deposits in general
@Melancholy Oh hell no. You're paying for the room. If the pro was fronting the room cost and had a track record then yes I could see it. I've certainly been burned plenty of times hosting.
Some professionals don't use Karma.
To me a deposit is to show the pro you are serious and to cover any initial expenses. If they are not traveling and don’t have any expenses I would keep any deposits to a minimum. While some pros do not use karma it does add risk when for lack of better words, no one is vouching for them.
@cuddler5617 I think the fact that I'd be getting a hotel room ahead of time means I'm pretty serious about showing up to the session. They shouldn't need a deposit if I'm the one booking a hotel room. You can't cancel a hotel room last minute...so you'll be stuck with the charges for the room if the pro cuddler flakes. I've had someone flake before...lucky for me she was a nice person and gave me a free cuddle session when I took a chance and trusted her a second time.
Deposits are a boundary.
They are a way that some professionals, and many businesses, use to sift the serious from the abrasive, demanding, entitled, frivolous, and ungracious.
Clearly, they work.
@CharlesThePoet If I gave her a deposit and she flakes, would CC help me get my money back for the deposit and the room charges?
@Melancholy, I don’t know the answer to that question but I do know in general that CC expects pros and clients to work out their problems. Each pro is their own business, CC just provides a platform for pros & clients to connect.
If you contracted with a business for goods or services and they didn’t deliver, would you go to their landlord or to the newspaper where they advertised to help get reimbursement?
There is always small claims court. I just took my former building managers to small claims court over $80 they refused to refund of my deposit. I knew they were being ridiculous and so it was worth the $90 court cost to file. They didn’t contest a single point I made about why they were being ridiculous and the judge, who was a landlord himself, gave them a dressing down for being goofballs. So it cost them $170 instead of $80 and maybe they won’t try to take advantage of the next tenant.
@Babichev how do you get your deposit returned from a flaking pro in small claims court ? Ok , suppose the plaintiff files a complaint against an anonymous username on the internet . The judge shrugs and rules against the pro so now the client is out his deposit , court time plus court costs .
Because CC is not involved in the transaction, they do not get involved in the reimbursement of funds. What CC will do, however, is respond to the report about interactions in which one party cancels last minute or no-shows. They will ask for evidence of the agreement, rooms booked, and deposits made. They will ask site users to adhere to the client service agreement wherein clients are asked to pay 50% of the canceled cuddle fee and pros are asked to offer a future free or discounted session. In cases where the parties refuse to comply or reports indicate a pattern of bad behavior, CC will issue a ban.
For the record, when this has happened to me, I have never had any luck recovering money, but CC has banned several folks who had apparently ghosted or canceled last minute several times. I have seen both clients and pros banned for this behavior. This is not the ideal outcome in my book, but I do appreciate that CC is responsive and take care to keep serial abusers from using the platform. It’s a lot considering the informal and international nature of the site.
@cuddlerforu24 - Good question. Since I’ve never hired a pro I don’t know exactly how one goes about it. I’m not sure I’d want to send someone money without contact information. I guess the lesson would be before sending someone money, get their legal name, address, and phone number.
Thank you, @BellaSera, for that information.
@cuddlerforu24 basically you’re SOOL but on the bright side, in 6 years of seeing pros, I’ve never had a pro flake. I have had at least one reschedule but never a complete flake.
@Babichev - if I order food from Grubhub or Doordash and the driver decides to steal it, the platform will return my money. They are also indepedent contractors.
@Mike403 , I don’t know enough about how any of this works to have an answer. Is it corrrect that with GrubHub and/or Doordash that payment is made through them? If so, then the delivery person depends on them to get paid. I’m aware I could be completely wrong on this, I’m just guessing. It’s my understanding that here that transaction occurs between the pro and the client. Booking the appointment is done through CC but payment is not. Is this correct? Or am I wrong about this?
@Babichev - Those platforms do handle payments, but drivers can cash it out at any time. Imo, it's not really much different than using a third party service such as Paypal.
The way it is different is that since the payment is going through the app, they can withhold payment from the delivery driver. The driver has an incentive not to steal. In addition, the app will have all their contact information including Social Security number. It would be easy for them to go after a driver who would steal. Would a driver be likely to risk all that for, what, a $25 ticket? Unlikely.
CC, on the other hand, does not handle the payment.
It does not matter too much what we think, it is set up the way it is and that is the reality we have to work with. It’s my understanding that it was originally set up to cater to enthusiasts only and the addition of pros came later. It’s an entirely different model than either GrubHub or Doordash.
I think that this site should have been changed to be setup such as Doordash when the floodgates were opened to let pros come in and basically take over because if something happens and the pro flakes out or is running a scam, the client is just out of luck. How does this site even collect the 15% if the payment doesn't go through them? The fact that this site takes 15% directly (somehow) in my mind makes them liable for any time clients get done wrong by pros. The problem with going to a small claims court against a pro is if you get a ruling in your favor, you still have to collect the money yourself or have the person put in jail for not paying. If all you have is a screenname, you are sol. There are so many problems with how this is setup. Again, just my opinion mostly but this is also speaking for life experience.
To answer your question, pros are required to keep a credit or debit card on file and our 15% commission fees are automatically calculated and charged to our credit cards 48 hours after the completion of a session.
I appreciate that you all are concerned about the risks of doing business with strangers on the internet, and that’s no small thing, but frankly you’re really exaggerating the possibility of getting ripped off.
Most pros don’t require pre-payment (deposits), so the likelihood of losing your money without ever seeing or knowing your pro is already pretty small. Furthermore, this transaction is entirely within your control. If you’re worried about deposits, choose pros who don’t require them or ask for relevant contact info beforehand.
Cuddling is largely a pay-on-delivery cash business. I don’t know statistics, but I would wager that women lose more in transactions gone wrong than men do. Particularly when there are hotel rentals, travel costs, and last-minute cancelations involved. I know I have personally lost hundreds while fine tuning my screening process. That’s what generally inspires pros to start requiring deposits in the first place.
Dont get me wrong, I have been told a few stories about men getting taken advantage of by pro-cuddler women, but in all but one case that I have heard about, those men were trying to circumvent the safeguards of booking through the website and thus had no recourse via CC. There’s an easy remedy here as well.
Exercise a little caution and common sense, and you can easily protect yourself from the tiny population of dishonest pros. I’m happy to discuss with anyone just how to do that.
@Letsholdeachoth , the site is set up as a way for cuddling enthusiasts to find each other and connect. It was not set up as a business to deliver cuddling services. There are other sites out there that are set up specifically as a business to deliver professional cuddling as a service. Perhaps you would be happier with them. As for the pros taking over - they haven’t taken over anything. They are a part of our community and have no more and no less power, for lack of a better word, than anyone else. It doesn’t matter whether the site is, in your mind, responsible if an errant pro cheats a client. The transaction is between the pro and the client.
I don’t see an epidemic of pros bilking clients out of money. Any pro that was doing that would be booted off the site and lose their ability to gain clients through this site.
@BellaSera points out that in the cases she is aware of this happening, the booking was being done outside of the system. Right away that should be a heads up to a client that the pro may be less than honest.
@BellaSera , thank you for taking the time to explain how this works.
@Babichev - They don't go after drivers who steals. The only thing that happens is that they deactivate/ban the account involved. They can't pursuit any legal charges. A new driver can easily sign up with the intention of stealing a big $100+ order then quit with no real consequences.
That’s an awful lot of hassle to go through for food.
Looks like there’s more of a problem with drivers taking a few bites than outright stealing:
https://www.npr.org/2019/07/30/746600105/1-in-4-food-delivery-drivers-admit-to-eating-your-food
Some food that isn’t delivered is never picked up in the first place.
Seems like there’s an awful lot of concern here for problems that are not very common.
My wife does DoorDash - she says there are some delivery addresses the drivers are very reluctant to visit, either because the area is dangerous, or because it's some distance out, there's no tip and they barely cover their costs to drive it. That food will sit and not be picked up for hours.
I didn’t start asking for deposits until I had been cuddling for over a year and had racked up quite a few karma. When I was new I was scared to push clients away but now I find that most clients don’t have a problem with a deposit given my experience and number of karmas. My advice for any new cuddler would be to rack up a few karmas first before asking for deposits. If someone is serious about using this platform as a source of income it would not be in their best interest to steal a deposit because it could lead to a ban and cut off this source of income for them. It would only make financial sense for someone who is looking for a short term gains and wasn’t serious about being a professional cuddler.
@xandriarain do you ask for a deposit even with regulars or just first time clients? I would be ok with giving a deposit if I was a new client and the pro cuddler had some karma. But after a few sessions I would feel like the pro cuddler was showing a lack of trust if she kept asking me for a deposit every time...unless I had shown some level of flakiness why would she need that anymore? the one I was talking about in this post had zero karma after 2 years, and wanted me to take the risk of getting a hotel room while she had no risk at all. I think a pro cuddler who doesn't use karma is making a big mistake.
@Melancholy As evidenced by my profile, I have much pro and enthusiasts cuddling experience. Personally I have never paid a deposit before. My tips for success are to be consistent, communicate genuine trust and I always ensure being open to paying cash up front. Also if I get a hotel room or traveling out of town, that’s communicated as well and assists with ensuring trust (can also act in a deposits place once paid). Many female pros that I have cuddled do require a deposit but it was never mentioned to me due to previously established trust levels. Also as a customer it’s your choice who you do and donot hire. If the 2 years and no karma are not what you are looking for, ok but if you still want to cuddle then you two could attempt to negotiate a mutually beneficial deal. In conclusion to answer your many questions above, these answers vary depending on what pro you ask these questions too. I would try the approach of racking up karma for yourself. If a pro asks for a deposit, I personally would ask if paying the full price up front would be allowed instead. One pro that is no longer on this site ask me for a deposit prior to our second session. I emphasized that she knew and could trust me (first session no deposit and paid for a hotel room), she agreed with me and communicated that I was trust worthy in many ways, so no need money prior to session. Many pros that I have cuddled have communicated flaked often by other men but appreciate me for never flaking on them. Any business or relationship with others requires clear communication with boundaries/limits. If your boundary is not deposit, try to negotiate it and or not then you may have to only cuddle those that meet the boundary. I wish you well. I appreciated all the viewpoints shared. This topic has been discussed enough and these answers again many change depending on what pro cuddlers you ask, all I can suggest is that you privately contact the individual pros you wish to cuddle and try to work out the best deal. Peace to you all.