For those that live with family, would you be uncomfortable hosting someone while family is home?

austinpowersaustinpowers
edited October 2021 in General

I messaged with a non-pro a couple months back that can only do guest or public cuddling. I said I was interested in cuddling and, although I was willing to host, I was not comfortable cuddling while my parents are home. I told her that they aren't away that often, so the opportunities would be limited. She then said she didn't think we would be a good cuddle match if we were hiding from my parents.

I'm not quite open with my parents as it is, but I think it would be too much for me to tell them that a stranger from the internet is coming over for some platonic cuddling. Not that I think they would disapprove, but it would just raise too many questions I don't want to have to answer.

Would you feel uncomfortable if one or more family members was home when you had someone from this site over to cuddle?

Comments

  • taminatortaminator

    I understand completely

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited October 2021

    many questions I don't want to have to answer.

    So this isn't really about cuddling, or the cuddlebuddy, or even your parents. It's about you.

    Write down a list of all the questions you think your parents might ask. Write down the answers. Write down what you think their reaction will be to the answer, or their follow up question. And so on.

    I've got 50p that says that doing that exercise will bring up some painful thoughts or feelings for you. Work through those feelings and that pain. If you can, get people to help and support you with it.

    It will be worth it, because on the other side is a world when you can bring a cuddlebuddy into the house. :)

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited October 2021

    "She then said she didn't think we would be a good cuddle match if we were hiding from my parents."

    I agree with her. I also take it it is their home and so they've a right to know who is brought into it?

    "Would you feel uncomfortable if one or more family members was home when you had someone from this site over to cuddle?" Edit: to clarify, I mean if it's at the cuddle partner's parents' place. I don't host in the foreseeable future.

    There's a slim chance that I may, depending on who those at home are, whether or not I get a chance to get acquainted with them somewhere comfortable for me. And how comfortable the person I'm planning to cuddle with feels. In a nutshell if my cuddle partner feels uneasy with it, he can't expect me to be okay with it.

  • LovelightLovelight

    It also depends on how well I know and how comfortable I feel with the cuddle partner.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    ☝️To make your life easy move house close to your family so you can have freedom and feel more comfortable.
    The matter on your hand 🤗 i used to have this problem

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    Because this is my profession I am very open about cuddling with most people in my life. I host in an office because I simply don't have a spare bedroom to host in at home. My boyfriend and I have discussed the idea of getting a bigger place with a spare room to host in; He doesn't necessarily mind the idea of clients on our property he would prefer that I have a separate entrance to the cuddle room so that he can feel comfortable in his own living space without running into clients. I think many of my clients would feel awkward meeting my boyfriend as well. If I was an enthusiast and living with my mother or other family members I would probably just say I was having friends or I would just be honest about the cuddling. I come from a pretty open family and I think they would understand. My wish is that people can drop the stigma and shame around cuddling because there is nothing to be ashamed of and so many people need touch but don't know services like this exist. The more we can talk about it and normalize it the more people will feel comfortable finding a cuddle enthusiast, hiring a professional, or even asking their own partner to cuddle more.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited October 2021

    @xandriarain ☝️ you can move with your boyfriend to a better comfortable affordable place. Many clients wouldn't feel awkward if you tell them in advanced that's your boyfriend at home,I'm 1 of them. My pros do tell if someone at home i have no problem as long as I have beautiful cuddles 😍 go for it.

  • uxecuduxecud

    So, the non-pro can ONLY do guest or public cuddling but they are concerned that you can only host when your parents are away??? If the non-pro is not homeless and likes being open about their cuddling, did you ever find our why they can't host and can only do guest/public????

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Depends who the family member is. My brothers for example, not a problem.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited October 2021

    .

  • WriterGFWriterGF

    I believe it was a non-pro he was talking with, not a professional. But I am sure there are dozens of reasons why someone might not want to host.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    Thanks @WriterGF. I misread the OP, so everything in my now-deleted post was irrelevant.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    If they ask just say it’s a friend not sure why you have to tell them everything

  • Andy1996Andy1996

    I would personally not feel comfortable hosting because of family being home.
    To me, I don’t really feel comfortable opening up about cuddling. Because of the fact that people may judge me.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @austinpowers i completely understand …. had I been in the same situation I would be uncomfortable with family there, but for the reason that I feel - (I know) they’ll judge & be like, “look at this sucker paying or meeting up for cuddles 😅😂🤣” - this is a very honest response 🥺

  • herby357herby357

    Lots of interesting perspectives here. I live in a multi-generational household and usually get a hotel room for a night or two every 4 to 6 weeks for the peace and quiet, to write, and to cuddle. I'm not into group cuddles, cuddling in public, or cuddling in "offices." It just doesn't work for me. Over time you'll figure out what works best for you. Be well.

  • SoftHairForDaysSoftHairForDays

    I live with family, and I am unable to host. @Andy1996 had mentioned being judged - my family doesn't know that I cuddle, and I don't feel like hearing the judgment, should they have anything negative to say. 😒 When I go out, I just say I'm seeing a friend, which isn't a lie. I consider the people I meet on here to be friends. 🤗

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @DimpleGirl 💯

  • MissXMissX

    I think even if I had no family living with me I wouldn't host at my place for safety reasons. Definitely not with family present.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    My parents are in their 80s and have been devout (but not mad) Christians their whole lives. They know that I cuddle although they don't really understand it. Indeed they have met one of my cuddlebuddies when we stayed over one night. We don't sleep together but we do cuddle in bed..... My mum came into the room and discovered an extra head on my pillow: she just laughed.

    I live life with my head held high: if somebody wants to judge me, good luck to them. I never have and never will take an interest in the doings of the maliciously censorious. If somebody wants to judge me to the exent that they fall out with me, excellent - I'm well rid of them.

    @DimpleGirl a cuddlebuddy is a species of friend: saying you are meeting a friend is a truth. Friend is a very broad word, and the details only matter when they matter.

  • panda619panda619

    Just tell em a friend is coming over

  • [Deleted User]edh96 (deleted user)

    I would be, but I usually have a guaranteed 40+ hours a week at home to myself so I could host easily during that time. Outside of that, I feel like it'd be too awkward and I don't want to deal with the judgmental questions afterwards (which will come, in my family).

  • relaxtoday221relaxtoday221

    One of my most comfortable situations every was in with a cuddler whose husband was in the other side of the house. She felt comfortable because there was someone there and I think it made her able to relax and enjoy.

  • Lev136Lev136

    I would not want to cuddle while living with somebody unless my roommate was out for the day. Same with family, who don't know I'm in the cuddling community. As many who have cuddled with me know, I host much of the time. I would also feel awkward if someone's relative or other significant other was present at the session.

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    Why can’t you just tell them it’s a friend and close to door? Or schedule the time when other people aren’t home? Why do they need to know details of what you’re doing?

  • ShakeShake

    For me I try to look at it less about how I'm feeling and more what the comfort level is of my family/roommate and the person I'm hosting. Like does this person feel comfortable having a stranger in their home, or does this person I'm inviting in feel weird about knowing someone else they don't know is nearby? Haven't had to host yet, but the way I see it is if one person's uncomfortable then everyone's uncomfortable. Which would be the last thing I'd want to see happen as a host.

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