Women, are you scared of cuddling men?

soarskills45

Title says all. I'm new (while I signed on sometime last year, I never used this site before). And I wanna cuddle women. But, knowing from personal experience, it seems like approaching a woman for any reason in 2021, no matter how pure and noble, is just a huge no-no. Is it any different here?

Mela_B

I personally am not afraid. I know this isn't everyone's experience and I respect other responses. But I am not scared, actually the opposite. I love cuddling with men.

calmcontact

I’m not scared of cuddling with men or anyone for that matter. I adore cuddling men. I am scared of boundary pushers - so I, like most women here, usually need to have reasons for a certain level of trust before meeting for cuddling. I think with enthusiasts the threshold is higher and most enthusiasts often require more conversations and getting to know each other before doing actual cuddling - but everyone is different. Some people may jump right in. Depends on comfort level.

You’re on a platform meant for finding platonic cuddle partners. Most people don’t hear back from all the people they reach out to, but as long as your intentions match the purpose of the platform I’d say go ahead and try messaging people. There are a ton of good posts about how to best start conversations in other threads that include being mindful of the extra safety precautions that some women take. I’d seek those out and read up.

NatieKat7

Its not that I get scared I get mostly anxeity about them like wondering if their intenstions are good and really platonic or are they trying hit me up to try to either date me or get between my legs, That type of things.

LunaLews

I’m not afraid to cuddle with men as long as they are respectful and clean

Sheena123

Depends how you’re approaching women… are you immediately going straight to “you look hot. What that thang do doe?” Or are you just starting a conversation by saying hey, how are you? (Insert random topic to talk about).

When I’m at a bar for karaoke, I get men coming up to me all the time. I have some that ask if they can sit beside me and I’ll say sure and we will have a nice conversation about singing or music or anything really but those polite, down to earth convos don’t happen often unfortunately….
Some that I allow to sit down near me or beside me start asking personal questions and even when I’ve mentioned multiple times about being married, when they ask if I want to go back to their place, I remind them once again that I’m married and they lose their minds. They call me a tease, a b1:6h, and every other name 🤷🏼‍♀️

That barely scratches the surface of the absolutely gross men that come up to me and say how they were watching my breasts or my ass or while I’m playing pool, they tell me that I’m obviously good with a pool cue so I should have some fun with “their pool cue” 🙄🙄🙄
My lord, do these pigs really think this works??
I’ve had some spank my ass while I walk by, try to force themselves on me or kiss me or just be downright assholes… and I know for a fact this happens with almost every other woman out there, no matter age or what they’re wearing. So with all this in mind, that’s why a lot of women instantly turn down men. Because why should I go through all that abuse to HOPE that you’re that one decent guy? It’s just not worth the sexual assault to have to deal with.

I find in the world of cuddling, for women, it’s the same. We get a lot of derogatory messages from men and we are constantly seen as pieces of meat so it will take a lot patience and understanding for someone to get through our barriers and for us to feel like you’re going to be respectful. If we’re worth cuddling to you, have patience and reach out to women kindly and show that you care for their safety. Eventually someone will see that respect and respond. But if you want women to just right off-the-bat meet at your house immediately for a snuggle without taking safety precautions, good luck.

Cuddlestogo64

No, I am not afraid to cuddle men. I never cuddle right away. I need to get to know them first. Make sure they will respect my boundaries.

If they are looking to cuddle right away, as in are you available to cuddle today, not going to happen.

Mare_Bear

What @whitehurst58 said, for me there is a screening process and I don't allow for impatience to move things along faster. Men should know that we need a level of comfort with them and some assurances before cuddling.

DeathbyChocolat

Personally I haven’t been on here do to life reason but I’m down to cuddle anyone but cuddle positions are sometimes better depending on body compatibility for sure I think anybody should be Leary of strangers having strange intentions self preservation and all that jazz……duh ….”also guys on here try to push there luck you know what cuddling is vs you trying to make a love connection send a Dm also everybody’s adults on here and ultimately we’re cuddling for holistic/ mental health / spiritual purposes… man also tend to say weird sh1t too things that can make you uncomfortable on the flip side I will say as a female I’ve reached out to other woman have been ghosted or ignored ppl are different but feeling safe is important when cuddling and because of trauma some guys may be triggering the woman there contacting which is either making them uncomfortable or just creepy comments

Lovelight

Depends on the men. There certainly are some men who I wouldn't like to even share the same planet with if I could. 😒

YourEmbraceMel

I will cuddle anyone who is respectful and smells clean. I love cuddling men.

Lovelight

"But, knowing from personal experience, it seems like approaching a woman for any reason in 2021, no matter how pure and noble, is just a huge no-no. Is it any different here?"

Oh... I kinda see what's going on here. No, it's probably no different here. I'd rather not cuddle self professed "nice guys" or "pure and noble", an actual nice person doesn't need to say he or she is that. And if one is not getting attention, it has nothing to do with said person being nice. Being nice and being a doormat or entitled are vastly different things. Imma leave it there. Hope that helps.

No way!
Why should we?
It only depends on the intention the other person have, can be either men or women...
But i would not say we should be scared.. why?
Why are not men scared of women?
🧐🤨

ernesto_2

@Lovelight I left the landmine alone, but glad to see it didn't go unnoticed.

Mike403

@miss_red8 - Men are more likely to want more and go for it without paying attention to what the other person wants.

calmcontact

Way to read between the lines @Lovelight ... I was going with the PC answer myself. Have to keep things professional. 🤷‍♀️😅

SunnyD

Willing to cuddle anyone who will respect boundaries. Not afraid of men. Honestly love cuddling with men but establishing and keeping whatever ground rules laid down is what I care about.

No.

Jkay

I’m not scared if cuddling men. The VAST majority of men I have cuddled on this site have been downright wonderful. I wish I could write recommendations on their dating profiles and some how advertise to women... ➡️“this one is spectacular!”⬅️

I’m also have a deep respect for folks who know they have a need for touch and connection and are seeking to meet that need in a respectful and consensual way.

So no, not scared of cuddling men.

simsaddict

I’m not scared of cuddling men.
Having worked in a maximum prison previously, cuddling helps me normalize touch since I view everyone as an inmate. 🤣😂
I get tense during sessions with boundary pushers.

Everyone is a predator to me, until proven otherwise.

TheMidnightOwl

After so many reasons to be, yes, I am to some degree. And everything @Sheena123 said.

GS51

@Lovelight great response, that is what I read from the OP too.

I'm sorry to expound this for the OP, but maybe this will help.

If the women are rejecting you, I wouldn't assume it's because you're fine/deserve attention and that they're all wrong/the world is unfair.

It's much more likely that, as a collective they're right (for rejecting you) and you need to figure out what your inadequacies are and how to fix them yourself (it might not be your fault as to why you have these problems, but sadly it's your responsibility to fix them).

As highlighted, not being a doormat/entitled would help (difficult to fix, but it's doable). A lot of things would help, that's where your mind should be if you actually want things to change, no other feedback loop is going to work for you.

Otherwise protect your ego, pretend everything is fine and stay the same/get worst probably.

Re being scared, I'd be scared too if I were meeting a stranger alone with unknown intent who was bigger, faster, stronger.

cuddles_ndream

@simsaddict ”I view everyone as an inmate” 😅😂

calmcontact

@simsaddict oh my goodness definitely not laughing at your vulnerability in those moments, but your statement that @cuddles_ndream quoted had me rolling too

cuddles_ndream

lol

vivlnnw

Good discussion, it helped me understand what usually goes through a cuddler's mind especialy the ones from Venus and made me respect them even more

Melancholy

Kinda curious what you mean by 2021. How are women any different now than they were 5 years ago ?

calmcontact

I think the unfortunate implication is that before the “me too” movement, women were more gracious and docile when it came to unwanted attention…..

Nature_Lover_

Cuddling through this site feels safe due to the strict terms and conditions and emphasis on platonic nature.
There are definitely still some bad apples who push boundaries as sited by multiple people above but I am so grateful to have connected with some amazing men ( and women ) in my cuddling adventures.

Cuddling with men who respect boundaries and the terms and conditions of the site make me feel safe, protected and cared for. 😊🤗 It truly is a beautiful thing just to platonically embrace and cuddle with no expectations of anything further.

Melancholy

@calmcontact that's what I was thinking.
I've heard guys say they don't even want to be in the same room as a woman because they think they might be falsely accused of something.

calmcontact

@Melancholy In my experience 99% of the time men are afraid to be alone with women is because they (for good reason) don't trust themselves to not do something inappropriate and/or unwanted. Of course there are some cases of women "crying wolf", but I think it's statistically rare in comparison to the occurrences of men "testing their luck" and/or truly pushing boundaries. I understand some men were quite literally raised to be this way and it takes effort to change what are socially inappropriate behaviors, but they're going to need to giddy-up and do that work.

Usually if someone is feeling "woe as me" because people suddenly feel more safe and/or confident in voicing boundaries, that was a person who was taking advantage of ignoring and/or being intentionally oblivious to boundaries in the first place.

That's not going to fly in modern day society and it's sure as heck not going to fly on a platonic cuddling platform where trust, consent, and boundaries are the backbone of soothing and fulfilling cuddling experiences.

To the OP - Not all women want to talk to you. Not all men want to talk to me. I'm not butt hurt about it.

If a woman tells you that what you're saying and/or how you approached saying it to her is "huge no-no", then stop doing it. Evaluate whether it was a personal boundary for her or likely to be a universal boundary, adjust, and then try engaging with someone one. No one owes you their time. No one owes you a response, and sure as heck no one owes you the response that would be most convenient for you.