NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MARRIAGE but Failure is not final

[Deleted User]SaraVirtual (deleted user)
in General

4 things I learned in my 10year Marriage. In addition to the traditional things like trust communication and sacrifice needed in relationships i wanted to share some things I learned

Hello everyone please know this topic is not about me giving anyone advice because I dont have a monopoly on truth I just simply want to share things I learned in my Marriage as an whole experience and if what I share can bless others then that's just extra.

Fall in love with the person not potential

****Sometimes people date or someone because of who they COULD BE or HOPE TO BE. .if we was to freeze someone in time...at their current self current income current body type current personality flaws...can you love them are willing to stick with them? If you love people for who they are not because of what they could potentially offer.***

Stand your ground against outside forces family and friends

****This is important because there will come times when family and friends will try to control your relationship both willing and unknowingly. It's up to the coupleto decide whats best for them not anyone else.. since they are the one to live with their decisions they make it would suck to make a decision someone ELSE told.you to do and your stuck with the consequences...****

Seek to understand in addition to love

****There is an analogy used about a little boy who loves his gold fish but one day he takes it out of the water to let the fish sleep next to him in bed. The next day the fish dies. This is not a story of a lack of love but a lack of understanding. When you take someone out of their environment they can suffocate. Try to understand your partner their trauma their mistakes their past and in the end a stronger bond will be built.***

Show your true colors

seems cliche but think about this for a second. If your heart and mind and personality you are the color _______(fill in the blank) but when you go out to date you show people a different color. What is that person going to be attracted to? To the color you SHOW them but the color you really needed them to see was a different color. If red to you signifies you are sensitive then let them see that and embrace who you are at that very moment but if you say I don't want people to see I'm this or that and show them something else to mask how you truly Re its only natural they going to be attracted to what you have given them...but when you are read to show your true colors they will think you changed and become a different person...goes back to my previous point about falling in love with people's current self not potential

  1. DO you believe there is only 1 soul mate for you in this life? Or more than 1?30 votes
    1. yes there some people you meet that understand you more than anyone else in the world!
      30.00%
    2. no if that person dies then I'm screwed. There is more and I can love them just as strong/vise versa
      16.67%
    3. There is more than 1 because some people have successfully polygamy relationships
      40.00%
    4. Yes only 1 TRUE SOULMATE if ...death/divorce happens I can find love again but they will be 2nd best
      13.33%

Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    This was a really nice thread 🌌 I’m having a hard time choosing out of the 4 options lol … I have several friends , & they are all different - doesn’t mean I love / care about any of them less than the others … I think you can have more than 1 soulmate , or in essence I think you’re able to bond with more than just 1 or at another given time for whatever the reason may be … I wish other was an option but for sake of the poll, I’m going to go with 1.

  • craMcraM

    Thanks for the insight! I really like Fall in love with the person not potential

  • entwineentwine

    Appreciate the thread. Great for people to share thoughts, knowledge, and experience.

    Defiantly agree shouldn't like someone because what they could be.
    Some say people can change, some say we can't.

    But one thing I've always believed is, if you can "fall in love", there is nothing that stops you from "falling out of love"

  • [Deleted User]SaraVirtual (deleted user)
    edited December 2021

    thanks guy I think i will do more of these in the future but different topics 🥰

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    @SaraVirtual I have never been married before but thank you for sharing life experiences/valuable information.

  • ms_brightsidems_brightside

    I love that analogy. Its question of love but the question of understanding,, Thanks

  • WriterGFWriterGF

    I do believe in the concept, but I also believe your soulmate(s) could be halfway around the world. The odds that they happen to live in your town or go to your school or work at your job are remote. That's why the best most people can hope for is to end up with a life mate, not a soulmate.

  • [Deleted User]stdisc0827 (deleted user)

    Rightly said that there isn’t anything called perfect marriage or it be unless both of them are actors or true lovers. It’s not possible to be in sync as the way we are designed, men are from Mars and women from Venus. However there can be a successful marriage and that can happen purely based on what each can give up for the other, could be called compromise or sacrifice or anything and that can happen only due to love and respect and trust. Then successful marriage can be called perfect marriage… in my opinion…😄

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