Anyone else NOT looking forward to family get together on 24/25?

cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
in General

So my mom is the one that always makes all the holidays special for all of us & I always look forward, & this year she went ahead & traveled to spend time with my grandma & my aunts because its been many years she hasn’t done so … My sisters have been calling me so that I can go spend Christmas on their side, & I told them thanks 🙏🏻 but I already told my cousin side of the family I’ll be there, & my cousin side of the family ask me to spend it there, & I told them I’ll be spending it at my sisters 😂 … if I tell them I just wanna stay home & relax & have my best friend come over with the 2 cuties 🐱 🐈‍⬛ or me go to her after she’s done with her family side, they won’t understand (through experience) & won’t let go of the fact of WHY I don’t want to spend it with them, when In actuality I just wanna be home & relax & lay back watching movies ☺️ … does anyone else relate? (I highly doubt this but just curious if there’s another single soul out there that does lol)

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Comments

  • BabichevBabichev

    My family is very screwed up. As a result, I spend my time with adopted family.

    This time of year can be really rough for some people with dysfunctional families. People look at you funny when they find out you are not spending time with family.

  • KYtransplantKYtransplant

    Same here. I'm only going down for a few hours and not really doing a whole lot else.

    I've even volunteered to work Christmas Eve so anybody else can get a break and go home.

  • Chris04Chris04

    I have constant depression but in the fall ( holidays) gets worse. I live by my self. So I always wait till holidays ends then wait till my birthday passes by ( Jan 4) then back to normal.
    So no I don't look forward to it.

  • KYtransplantKYtransplant

    @Chris04 yep, same on the living alone and the birthday. Mine's next week.

    Dark and cold doesn't help either. Been chatting with another member tonight about this very thing.

    I probably won't start feeling better again until March sometime.

  • BabichevBabichev

    My birthday is at the very end of November, just a bit after Thanksgiving. So yes, for those of us who have a birthday in there it adds one more event to get anxious about.

  • WriterGFWriterGF

    Not an issue, my family is scattered all over so we don't get together. What I don't look forward to is dropping my daughter off with her mom on Christmas Day and having to spend Christmas night alone.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Babichev > People look at you funny when they find out you are not spending time with family.

    This is true! Societal expectations at its finest.

    @KYtranspant that's very kind of you : )

    @Chris04 you have us here 🌌

    @WriterGF i can tell your daughter is your life ♥️, I like & admire the strong bond you express for her throughly the forum.

  • imlittlespoon99imlittlespoon99

    My in laws insist we go there. And I told them this is the last year. Last year I loved because of Covid I didn't have to leave the house. After doing so much work and making Christmas special for my kids, I don't want to rush through my morning to get somewhere that is socially awkward and uncomfortable. They are not kind to my kids. Annoyed when they act like children. Nothing crazy, but playing with new toys they get is too loud. I'm done with that.
    Sad thing is next year, I'll have to host it a different day at my house. To accommodate them all. Ugh.
    I hope everyone can find some peace this holiday.

  • JLDJLD

    Work and personal life has sucked my usual joy out this year. Just want to be done

  • ThomSSIThomSSI

    More than just not looking forward to it, it’s something I dread.

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    Back in Summer 2018, my old roommate and I, who are practicing Christian believers, decided that it made more sense to celebrate the Christmas holiday during the time of year when scholars suggest that Jesus Christ was more likely born, which is either late spring or early fall.

    So we decided on early June 2018 to celebrate Christmas; We got out some decorations, setup a Christmas tree, prepared a Christmas meal, and invited a few friends over to celebrate Christmas in June.

    And let me tell you, it was one of the best and most unique Christmas’ I have celebrated in many years.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @NicoSnuggs that’s an interesting story! I really wonder if most people celebrate the holidays for their true significance, or for what they offer…

    Christmas - presents 🎁
    Thanksgiving - family get together / food 🦃 🥘
    July 4th - Bbq & fireworks 🎆 🍖
    (Insert random holiday) Yes! Day off from
    School / work … 😎🏄🏼‍♂️

  • CozyWolfyCozyWolfy

    I'm actually spending it with my ex and her family.. my family's super homiphobic and some not vaccinated.. so not really looking forward to any part of the holidays other than hanging with my kids <3

  • [Deleted User]Saysoh (deleted user)

    Yes. My Mom passed away not too long ago and after many promises, my family said they weren't going to split up. We all got together for every birthday (I have a big family), holiday, whatever. Since she passes, the family seems to have decided to split ways and it's mostly my middle sisters kids and her weanting to spend time with he new stepkids. So, my family is now divided by my oldest sister's side and middle sister's side and nobody gives a fck promises were broken. So yea, fck Christmas this year. I'm actually spending it with my ex and her two kids.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @cuddles_ndream

    does anyone else relate? (I highly doubt this

    =) I should think about half the forum relate to this!

  • CallMeMikeyCallMeMikey

    Whoever you're spending time with - that's family.

  • Maverick07Maverick07

    I have my daughter for Xmas eve, but have no plans for the 25th, when she'll be with her mother. I saw yesterday that Celtics are coming here to play the Bucks, so that could be an option.
    Like several people here, my birthday was on Tuesday, and normally I don't advertise it; fortunately, I have some great coworkers and we went out for lunch, then I had a great time with my daughter later in the day, playing arcade and having dinner.
    Now Thanksgiving was tricky since it was just me, and my close friends were not available. I did have invitations from a couple of people but felt a little uncomfortable to accept... we are not that close and this holiday to me seems so more about immediate family ( @CallMeMikey - I know and agree with you). Still, I had some many things to do that the day went really fast.

  • phippsphipps

    The Christmas is going to suck. My wife and I have separated and to top that off my children, who at adult children, have decided to cut me out - I refused to bring them into the divorce. Then the week of Thanksgiving my mom passes away.

    Can this season be over with already

  • teedouble84teedouble84

    I can’t wait til it’s all over, the holidays just aren’t the same as they used to be anymore

  • ILikeWarmHugsILikeWarmHugs

    I’m dreading this holiday more than I’ve ever dreaded it. We’ve been dealing with some heavy stuff with my brother who refuses to get professional help and, as a result, my parents no longer want him to be around until he seeks the help. It’s sad knowing you’ll be one immediate family member short.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    I am looking forward to the 24th/25th because by then I will be done hemorrhaging money, buying gifts for 11 different people and I can start getting back on track towards my financial goals.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    Like Halloween, the candy was cool as a kid and same with gifts with Christmas - loved them as a kid, but as an adult it just stresses me out. Other than that I really like the festivities and am looking forward.

  • MxSmithMxSmith
    edited December 2021

    I prefer having Christmas with friends. :)

  • lilithgrowlithelilithgrowlithe

    I'm honestly probably going to skip out of it this year; I really don't want to see anyone this year

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    Christmas is a toxic holiday.
    🤡Rampant mindless competitive conspicuous commercial consumerism replete with spiral eyed mania, chaotic crowds, and bad manners
    🤡Pressure to spend money you don't have on people you hardly know or don't like to buy them crap they don't need, won't appreciate, and will go to the landfill
    ☹️Don't forget the impoverished kids who didn't get lavish gifts and therefore believe they must be inferior
    🤢Family pressure, expectations, obligations that are hugely out of proportion and having to perform to those or else you're the jerk
    🙄🙄 All the religious hypocrisy of course
    😬Creepy uncle's and various bigots on eggnog
    🤢 Eggnog gets its own line
    😷 being trapped in a stuffy house with lots of people with a stress suppressed immune system in flu season (new and improved!)
    😑 Tip toeing around the narcissists and histrionics while All those painful memories are running in the background
    😫The music.
    I could probably go on but I might start to sound like a Grinch lol
    I've been the one to "ruin Christmas" by not participating in the aspects that are utterly batshit to me just about every year since I could think for myself and sometimes bow out completely.
    Remember at the end of the day that you're the only one that has to deal with your mental health, and if mom is having a meltdown because you didn't participate in one arbitrary day of the year, that's for her to deal with.

  • MxSmithMxSmith

    Thank you @biancalovecraft !!! nailed it.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited December 2021

    @CozyWolfy yes, why spend the time where you don’t feel welcome …

    @Saysoh I understand & sorry it has to be that way, my mom is definitely the glue that keeps everyone together, or at the very minimum the reason why we come together … if she weren’t here I see it being the end of that.

    @CuddleDuncan / @CallMeMikey @teedouble84 @lilithgrowlithe @xandriarain 💯

    @Maverick07 i understand you not wanting to accept the invitation, glad you’ll be able to be with your daughter for Christmas Eve

    @phipps really sorry to hear!!!

    @ILikeWarmHugs sorry it has to be that way

    @MxSmith lol 😅😂🤣😂 I have soo many questions … (you don’t have to answer absolutely none of them, plz feel free to completely ignore them) what did your uncle do or say to make you so angry? Do you end up going to church to make your parents happy, or do you refuse & it makes them upset, or are you just not the church type & they are?

    I always leave Christmas with my family feeling completely exhausted, ashamed, feeling guilty and absolutely furious.... which is why I do not have Christmas with my family anymore.

    How long has it been since you stopped having Christmas with your family , that reminded me of my oldest sister (I have 4) … she stopped doing family events all together, or tries her best to avoid them, she’s different from the others as where she isn’t into what the others are into , she’s into art & making a difference & an impact in the world, the others are girly / they care about their looks & what they have - wear - ect , she could care less … she feels she’s judged / and that she can’t relate / & no matter how older they become it is the same where even my other sister’s daughter is joining in on that stuff … so I get why she doesn’t go to family events or avoids them 90% or the time , although she doesn’t say but does come up with a reason almost every time , but I know. Your friends are awesome! & so are hers : )

    @biancalovecraft lol 😅 straight to the point 😝
    I get it 🙂

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    I don't celebrate Christmas unless I get invited, last i celebrated 8 years ago when I used to be homeless and a church helped me, enjoy Christmas

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Ahmedali999 i know you have an interesting story! I always felt that way & I got really intrigued when you mentioned you were from Yemen , (A majority of the delis in every hood in Nyc are run by people from Yemen, almost no one can keep up with them because they have such a great system , not the Italians / Latinos / or 7 - elevens , none can compete with their system lol) anyway wanted to share that with you.Hope you have a blessed Christmas/holidays.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @cuddles_ndream waw wonderful to hear, Yemen is really old country where queen of Sheeba is from. It's really important to be with family, life is too short, have a blessed Christmas

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