Male professional cuddlers

billybobs

Looking into becoming a professional cuddler. seems to be none in my area for 80 miles.

Any pointers?

Mod Note: Renamed thread.

There is no market for male professional cuddlers so if I were you, I wouldn't even try.

joey012616

I think there definitely is a market for respectable male cuddlers. I would recommend starting off by joining meet up groups in your area or hosting groups. Get your name out there on different platforms, detailing exactly what the service is, the cost and FAQs. Also, contact local community centers for advertisements and referrals. When I did it as a pro, I had all sorts of people, including older ladies with some medical issues who just wanted to have company or to feel a male's touch in a purely platonic way. It can be very rewarding.

Mark

In my experience the market is very small for professional male cuddlers but hopefully that is changing.

Radiant1

Hi @joey012616 I'm very curious to hear about your experiences as a male pro cuddler, from the origins through to why you stopped being pro (or so i gather from what you said).

Maybe it's where i live, but my personal experience and observation seem to indicate that there are very few women who are both confident enough to cuddle with a relative stranger and are also truly seeking intimate platonic touch. They're either too scared to meet, or they only want sex, or there are other ulterior motives. It's very easy for young, attractive women who have their stuff together to simply choose the man or men they want from the herd, and so most of these women are already in relationships. Of those who aren't, it isn't long before they're picked up at parties, clubs, or wherever. They don't stay single long. Then there's another segment of the single female population entirely. These are the independent women who have their own thing going. They aren't interested in a traditional romantic relationship. They know where to get sex when they want it, and when they don't want it, they're not bothered. I know of very, very few men who can call the shots like that. And of those who can, most that i know of do so by triggering sexual interest.

That's all to say that i wonder where the market is at for male pro cuddlers? Naturally, what i've described above doesn't cover all women, nor even all single women. That's just been the majority of my experience and observation. Of the women that i've cuddled with or started talking to, most required some degree of coaxing. (So most of the cuddle friends i've made fall into that "shy" category.) I have a hard time imagining that i'd have succeeded in befriending them if i'd told them they had to pay to be held.

Or is that one of the things that actually drew people to you, Joey? Were they comforted because they felt they knew exactly what your motives were from the start? And so having a price tag, and offering it as a service, people felt there was a greater sense of legitimacy?

I'm really curious and hope to hear back from you.

Yeah once upon a time I sent an email on this site and they told me my area was oversaturated with professional male cuddlers based on the lack of requests for one. I did a search and there were 2 in my area. I'm a bad ass cuddler but there doesn't seem to be a market for guys so I didn't really give it much thought after that. Maybe if you cuddle guys as well?  Best of luck to you.

joey012616

Thanks for the question @Radiant1 I stopped being a pro only because I am working a full time job and am going to school full time as well so I did not have a steady schedule to devout to clients.
 
During my time as a pro however, I found it very rewarding. Many times people just wanted to chat with someone and we would spend hours chatting back and forth online (free). Sometimes, that's all people need. The thing is also that it's not just females that look for a male cuddler, but other males as well. Sometimes males need to feel that intimacy level from another male, or, they may be in a relationship and don't want to have the sense that they're cheating. I haven't had any problems with people trying to take the session into a sexual direction. I've been one of the lucky ones I suppose.
 
Also, as a pro, sometimes you get asked to host cuddle parties. Basically, you lead a group of people by first explaining the rules and giving guidance. Building confidence and such. One of the first things done is basically to have each person ask another person if it's ok to do something (play with their hair, touch their shoulder, whatever) and have the other person say "no" or "not right now but maybe later" or "no, but you can do <blank>". The point of the exercise is to show both parties that it's sometimes ok to say no and not have anyone's feelings hurt. That the session still continues and a great time can be had by all. So as a pro, you get clients that are not only looking for comfort, but for someone to help them with their confidence level. Self-esteem issues target all genders.
 
I also try to make a point (although I don't always succeed) to say males or females instead of men and women in order to be more inclusive as I have had a trans client in the past as well. The job is not going to be lucrative. I think in the end, I ended up paying more than I made. But I didn't do it for very long, yet it was a very rewarding experience.
 
Hope that helps answer your question.

Radiant1

Thanks for the reply and insight, Joey. Actually, i discovered CuddleParty before i discovered CuddleComfort. Unfortunately, i haven't had the chance to go to one yet, but i appreciate their listed rules and the importance of how they create a structured and safe environment. And the "no" exercise and confidence building are very important. I'm looking forward to going to the next one in my area. So i can see how hosting cuddle parties would definitely be something in the male segment of the market*. (I put a star next to market because from everything i've read and seen, hosts don't get paid by the hour, so like you said, even with people's small donation to attend, it isn't lucrative.)

But, if you're comfortable sharing, i'm also really interested in knowing two things: 1) how you started as a pro, and 2) how you marketed your service (in terms of style more so than the actions you took, since you already described your actions in your first post above). Or to use an analogy: How did you get people to pay for your bottled water, when water on tap is usually readily available? For example, many people like bottled water because it's filtered and tastes like it's free of contaminants & unnecessary extras. How did you approach the answers to the question "Why should i pay?" in whatever subtle or overt form people may have asked it.

joey012616

Thanks again @Radiant1 and great questions. For me, I did not really need to market much as I was listed as a pro on another site for some time before I asked to be taken off due to time constraints. I did post some ads on sites such as Craigslist and Backpage, but most of my success came from the cuddling site and from word of mouth and talking with friends who promoted me to their friends and so forth. It's a bit intimidating to discuss this type of work with friends as it's not really something that's mainstream yet, but I think that it's getting there and many mental health experts are getting on board.
 
I started when I was going through some rough patches in my own life and happened upon an article that talked about this lady who provided cuddling services. It peaked my curiosity so Google-searched different topics for a few days until I found a site that connected you to pro cuddlers. I tried a session and thought it was great. I started getting more confidence in myself and I found that my relationships with people started improving as well. I had a few more sessions with different cuddlers and decided that I wanted to be able to help others as much (or more) as I was helped. I looked into the best way to become a pro and I found a free online program that certifies you. I know it sounds silly, but taking that course really taught me a lot and opened my eyes to so much more.
 
From there, I became a pro for a short while before stopping but I enjoy being on this site since it still connects me with people whom I can help through chatting, while at the same time, maintaining my own mental and emotional health. I get to meet people whom I may never have had the opportunity to meet and interact with on my own and I have developed some great friendships because of it.
 
When you request a service from someone, there should always be the expectation of compensation. It may not always be monetary or much, but there's always something exchanged. Even doing the service for free, there's something that you get out of it for yourself. So I would suggest to those who have never had a professional cuddle session before to try the experience. Cuddling with a loved one is awesome. Cuddling with a stranger is completely different. Not good or bad, just different. I personally love the connection with a new person. Plus, it's strange to go to my friends and say "lets cuddle for an hour quietly" lol. Hiring a cuddler lets you explore yourself and your own likes and dislikes with someone who is basically getting paid to help you explore yourself. You find out what you like (I like having my back rubbed) and dislike (I don't like being the little spoon lol). Discovering yourself is the best way to be able to appreciate those around you.

Radiant1

That's some awesome & helpful insight, Joey! Thanks massively for sharing.

joey012616

My pleasure :-)

I have been a pro male cuddler in Chicago for a year and it's been rewarding.  Female cuddlers do get more clients, but male cuddlers are gradually catching up.  The company that I cuddle for is great and has a training and certification program. You must attend some cuddle parties and have your session evaluated by a trainer.

We have a clear code of conduct which outlines what should and should not occur.  My clients have been men and women or all orientations.  Interesting some are social workers, therapists, businessmen.  The standard rate is $80 an hour but I also have rates for 90 minutes and two hours.

I always stress this is platonic, non-sexual cuddling.  Many clients are experiencing job stress, or loneliness/lack of connection, or they're grieving a loss, or they're new in town.  Some just have been single for a few years and missed hugging and cuddling.  Often the best part is just lying with the person, holding each other and breathing together.  It feels nurturing, as you would with someone in a relationship.  I have repeat clients too.

What a great thread!!! I think there's a bright future for male cuddlers. Yes, just as someone said above, I would pay for this service bc I anticipate good boundaries , safety, and at least decent performance. Take the guess work out of the picture!

I think there is zero future for male pro cuddlers

There is no way this will ever happen. I don't ever see a reversal where the girls start paying the guys.

I agree no way will a girl ever pay for man cuddles coz she just need to breath and have 100 jump at her for chance of it and free....

scenario :

BOY : HI
GIRL: HI
BOY your so lovely I so love to hold you
girl: oww that so sweet and cute and yea sure I love that
boy: let make it happen
girl :yeayyyyy whoop
boy: that's 50$ a hour
girl: silence...give you the wtf look ..are you gay ?
boy: but I am amazing trust me
girl :yyyyyeaaaaa...go F#uck yourself

IT WON'T HAPPEN UNLESS IS WOMEN IN THEIR 60/70+

docgatorb

@brains4; Thanks for your insight, you might check out joey012616's comments and gudrun's comments (no, she is not in the 60/70*). Sometimes the accomplishments of others appear impossible to those who can't do it.

4cuddles

It's very interesting that the idea of female using male pro seems so unusual.
I actually came across this site after been unable to locate a male pro. I can see why male pro are CURRENTLY still rare, well sort of.

But hope it will take off . I can definitely seeing it doing so in time. Think it could also somehow reduce the attitudes about cuddling being a cover up for sexual activities.

I'd definitely be a user of a male cuddler so long as location and availabilities works 4 me (2 factors I've struggled with but I digress).

A male pro if professional, would definitely eliminate some of the obstacles in my opinion that can make some women wary about cuddling with a stranger.

docgatorb

Now, a question for the men, If you were encouraged to become a professional by women and were shown other male profiles with a lot of karma on them, would you consider becoming a professional? And if so, would you seek training? And finally, how much would you charge? Yes, this a completely hypothetical scenario.

@doc9gator no thanks I rather not check out joey012616 as I am not :
1 Money hungry
2 some man slut that can be bought
3 I don't believe in money to preform a human act be.it sex or cuddles
4 money doesn't buy happyness
5 unlike joey012616 I am a human being , if some needs hug ^affectionit I give to them for free (female only) as long as it convenient to me as aka distance . !!!!!!
6 I don't need money I have a real job and a actual profession unlike some !!.

now.your comment 'Sometimes the accomplishments of others appear impossible to those who can't do it." No disrespect !!!ow really now that some 50/60's garbage like with many things /ideals/ideas that were and are WRong. And so you assume Ahh i can't do it .....that's because advertising myself on Internet for paid cuddles it's such a back breaking and rocket science job

docgatorb

ramble on Mr. brains4.

Mark

It's getting a bit old now particularly as we have a separate section to avoid that type of clash of opinion. If that isn't successful then I might have to manually restrict access based on whether a member has genuine interest.

4cuddles

Hmm interesting questions @ docgatorb. Out of curiousity, how would u answer yourself?

don't be jealous @docgatorb learn to live !

docgatorb

@Annie85 I'm not really certain, but I would probably start at the low end ($40/hr) to test the water to see what kind of demand there was and how much it benefits the client, I would seek feedback in terms of what is important to the client. There is formal training out there to learn how to facilitate groups, much less on how to set up a business as a cuddle practitioner. I would probably seek office space where I would pay as used (found in some yoga centers and wellness centers around here about $20 - $25/hr). Then I would let it develop organically. This space that Mark has put together would be vary valuable for bouncing ideas off of other practitioners,

I asked the question because I don't think that men would go about it much different than women. Although I feel that cuddling is best not mixed with money, I can also see that there is a demand for paid services and I think that meeting this demand doesn't do any harm.

haha guy.up here ☝ ..check your sanity . I guess everyone likes that dream in their head.. but anyway good luck. Just do it man ,lead by example .

4cuddles

@doctogarb.

Thanks for the explanation. Sounds like u'd make a good pro.

Whilst, I appreciate your point about not mixing cuddling with money... Geninue question have u ever used a pro yourself? If so, how did ur views on mixing money & cuddling exchange fit in with that experience?

4 me, the money aspect cements that that it was a service & helps maintain its a purely a professional relationship. Which is wat I was looking for and probably look for in a pro.

(I'd liken it to a relationship with a therapist where the main allure is that that session/space is held purely for the client & there is little or no interaction beyond that. A friendly & professional relationship). I think there could be a demand from that perspective.

There seem to be envy about how easily women find cuddle buddies. When there may be a discrepancy between the number of potential cuddles & the type of cuddling relationship on offer.

Yes, women may find it easier to recieve offers of a hug.. but how likely is it a purely platonic offer?

It would be good to hear from more women about this.

docgatorb

@Annie85 You have some very good questions and since they go beyond the topic of male professionals, I'm starting a new topic on establishing/maintaining a professional practitioner-client relationship.I have never used a pro, but the issue comes up with Massage Therapists as well. I have no issues with paying a professional, but I haven't met any with whom I'm impressed that they know therapy who isn't located at least halfway across the country from me.

4cuddles

Thanks for moving the discussion back on track.

So on that note, my points on my previous post were to highlight why they may be more demand for male prof than some members assume / think.

Another gap male prof can fill is the 'protective figure' male play in society. Similarly to 'the female nurturer', I think people often miss that outside romantic or sexual relationships.

Also think this is why some women & men will seek cuddles from male pro

Sure it's obvious by now that I am big advocate for male pro cuddlers. (Infact I'm still somehow thrown by the lack of male prof).

Hope this gets filled as the acceptance of platonic cuddling grows.

cuddleaddict

Joey012616, Like your post, you bring up a lot of good points. Would you mind telling me where the free online program that provides certification is? While I have a lot of experience, any kind of certification I think helps. Thanks!