Unexpected "Member has deleted their account." during a multi-day convo, can't think of a reason?

InvestorLogicInvestorLogic
in General

How common is for a member to reach out to you, have a nice friendly conversation spanning multiple days, and then all of a sudden the person deletes their profile for no apparent reason you can think of?

It has just happened to me

A member reached out to me, started a conversation, by the pass of a few days the conversation centered to the idea of meeting, the conversation was prospering very well, and then when I logged in today to respond to his latest message I get surprised with the following:

"You cannot send a message to PlexxxxxxxxMe. Member has deleted their account." (I sensored the user's name)

I can't make head or tail with this one. It completely makes no sense that all of a sudden a user would want to delete their account when we were just getting into the planning stage of the conversation with the idea to meet and the person seems delighted with wanting to meet me. This just doesn't add up, almost feels like if the person has some sort of malicious intentions, or was a troll.

If something like this happens to you, what would be your thoughts?

  1. If a cuddler initiates convo with you, is delighted to wanting to meet, and then deletes profile:67 votes
    1. I would assume this person had malicious intentions
        4.48%
    2. I would assume this person was an insincere troll.
        4.48%
    3. I would assume this person probably broke the terms and got banned/account closed.
      17.91%
    4. I would assume this person got cold feet and decided against meeting strangers from the internet
      73.13%
«1

Comments

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    I'm unlikely to assume any of these things, or to even venture a guess. While I'd be disappointed if it happened in the middle of a conversation, my assumption would be that any guess I made about the reason would be wrong.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I chose 4, from everything you mentioned, this seems to be what most likely happened.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Could be they weren't only talking to you... Could be nothing to do with you...
    Could be they had a change of heart/aren't ready...
    Could be any number of things. But ultimately it doesn't matter because if you were supposed to know, you would.

    Also, it's for sure not #3 because it would say, "user banned".

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Looking at their name as you showed I wonder if they were overstepping TOS.

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited February 2022

    It’s happened to me several times over the years. I assume they were arrested. Or they are married and their wife found out. Or they were abducted by aliens. Or they were taken up in The Rapture. Or they got too close to a black hole and were spaghettified.

    I assume nothing.

    The only one who knows for sure why they did it is that person and they aren’t around to tell us. You would know if they were banned, though, because that would show up.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Black hole spaghettification for sure babichev, none of those other explanations seem reasonable.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited February 2022

    Your poll options are not the only ones possible and you failed to include an 'Other' option.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @JasonCuddles Unless it was a two-dimensional black hole and it caused lasagnafication.

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    I would assume nothing beyond the information I know, which is that they deleted their account…

  • Francisco108Francisco108
    edited February 2022

    I have a person that matches the beginning and end of the user name you posted that deleted his account, so I take it we were most likely talking to the same user. I got an email that this user sent me a new message, but didn't answer it right away, a few hours have passed, I decided to answer the message and I saw this user had deleted his account. Sounded strange to me that a user would want to delete his account right after asking a question and waiting for a reply but didn't give it much thought and moved on.

    Yes, it's puzzling that a person would delete their account in the middle of a conversation, but what can we do? There are a million reasons why a person could decide to delete their account, including what @Babichev mentions.

    I would say, don't give it any further thoughts, move on, and find someone else to talk to.

  • samfiddlesamfiddle

    This has happened with the majority of people whove messaged me. Its kind of a bummer.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    The first time it happens is upsetting but after a few times you start to expect it.
    Then it doesn't matter anymore because it's not that surprising

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    I chatted to someone, thought we really clicked, then he just deleted his profile with no warning. Don't get too attached to people early on, and when it happens (because it will happen, for whatever reason) don't give it too much thought. Just move on and start talking to someone else.

  • MaxCuddleMaxCuddle

    I have had that happen to me a few times. I recently send a msg. She responded like the next day. Then that same day she replied, her acct was deleted. Hearing from some Pros and enthusiest, guys can be Very rude. Alot delete acct very quickly.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    What’s worse is when you are having a nice conversation with an enthusiast that spans a dozen message and then their account gets suspended and they never get in suspended. That’s the worst!

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited February 2022

    Better than them disappearing for days and weeks or more again and again and again... while in a conversation. One of them deleted when for like the second time I basically said: "nope, have a nice day." He deleted his account then. While the other had the audacity to ask me for advice* and act all nonchalant about his constant disappearance in our conversation. I so didn't need that and with time you learn to better deal with it.

    It's part of the reason why I stopped taking it that seriously unless we actually meet in person. Cause talk is cheap. They may video call 'you' and think they don't wanna meet you. Or find out about 'your' disability, etc., and not wanna meet you. So unless someone gets to know that about me AND follows through with their interest to meet, I don't take it that seriously anymore.

  • DreamSweetDreamSweet

    Been there. Done that. I was speaking with a professional and for the sake of transparency, asked and provided vaccination status. Not looking for random cuddles, as we are still in the midst of a storm. The thing of it is, don't take their response, or lack thereof personal. It was only in your best interests if they bailed on you - as they were not about the business of your well-being. Also, consider that something/ someone else may have made them uncomfortable while you were communicating, and they then decided maybe this was not such a good idea. The human species is complex. Some of us happen to be less complicated; and come armed with kindness and love. Good Karma is the result of your best actions. Know that you are worthy, and there will be a divine intervention. Life will happen for you in its own proper time.

  • ClubSamwichesClubSamwiches

    I agree with @TheMidnightOwl. They canceled their account for their own personal reasons.

    All of your options seem self-centered and I wouldn’t take it so personally if I were you.

  • Lev136Lev136

    I think it's happened to all of us. I try not to assume anything but something happened to make this person delete his / her account. It could be cold feet, that the person decided this really wasn't for them, etc. No matter what, I don't take it personally and understand that the person had their reasons for deleting their account.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    I've been on the dishing end of this. It had nothing to do with the person. It had to do with me feeling threatened and suddenly fearful for a bunch of cascading, emotional change that I didn't understand. I bailed on 3 conversations. Call it an emotional breakdown.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I don’t even know why this is controversial or alarming. Deleting an account is more communication than all the people who never reply at all.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    "Deleting an account is more communication than all the people who never reply at all."

    I like that framing.

  • penwahpenwah

    Anything its possible. It could also be the 2 of you have a long distance between you.

  • InvestorLogicInvestorLogic

    @penwah That's a perfectly valid point, except that this person was in Brooklyn, about 18 miles away from me being in the Bronx, according to CuddleComfort's distance estimation on the person's profile when he was active.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    This happens with me with two female enthusiast, we were just going over our profiles and I was trying to help them to find good clients we were having great conversations and they both deleted their profile after asking me a question or making a comment they didn’t even give me a chance to comment back there was no closure or saying goodbye. I love closure and I don’t like when people just delete without saying goodbye.

  • KozyKimKozyKim
    edited February 2022

    Same thing their last message was so sweet and nice and I really wanted to talk to them again but they were they were, gone! :(

    Image deleted. Please don’t post screen shots of private messages. You attempt to block out the name did not obscure it.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @KozyKim Helping female enthusiasts find good clients? 🤔

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)

    Anyone saying they were spaghettified by proximity to a black hole is being incredibly silly, they were clearly tortellinified by a magenta vortex.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @MaineCuddle Yeah I never really thought about it that way. I’m not very competitive. They both deleted their profile so I guess I didn’t help them.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @KozyKim No, I was just stumped at the wording because enthusiasts don't have "clients".

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