Pros, how do you feel about asking a client for a photo of their id before meeting at their house?

Goddess_Kali

When I am planning to meet a client at their home I always ask for a photo of their drivers license before i will meet them alone at their place. Most of the time the clients understand why & dont have any issue with me asking for it. But today I was scheduled with a client & after asking for the photo he canceled the cuddle session stating "Pro did not disclose their terms prior to booking trapping the customer to require sensitive information". I dont feel as though I "trapped" him, & I have been requiring this ever since I started cuddling so that I know if anything were to happen there is a record of exactly where I was supposed to be & with who. I know I did not ask for it until after we had set up a booking, but I guess it seemed like there was no reason to bring it up with all the ppl who message me until we've actually set something up. I mean I have soooo many people messaging me who never end up scheduling with me. So i thought itd be easier for me to just wait, but now Im wondering if I should change my approach to the situation, & also wondering if anyone else has this requirement & how you go about it.
Do you guys think that is something I should add onto the bottom of my profile so then everyone just knows without me having to say anything?

cuddleversed

From a client standpoint I’m gonna say yes, state it clearly on your profile so nobody will be “surprised” by your requirement.
I’ve seen quite a few profiles stating this same requirement and I think is a good idea because this topic has been discussed in the forums and many clients expressed that this was a deal breaker and would never give a photo of their drivers license to a pro cuddler for the purposes of setting up a session. Personally I would never give a photo of my drivers license either so I would appreciate a Pro cuddler clearly stating that on her profile so I can move on and not go through the preliminary conversations only to find out they want a photo of my ID when I’m not willing to give it.

Sheena123

I already answered this elsewhere but I’ll paste it here too just so it’s added in this convo as well:

I think it would be easier for both parties if that’s written on your profile. A lot of ppl don’t like the idea of showing personal identification even if some spots are blurred out. For prospective clients to have that knowledge beforehand, they can know to either avoid spending time chatting and planning or they can expect to give that info before moving forward. No surprises. And then when you go to ask for it and they huff about it, you can easily say “oh, it’s on my profile. Did you not see that?”

CuddleDuncan

It's giving personal information to a stranger on the internet. That's a big deal, so yes, it should be on your profile. If you are comfortable with some parts blurred out, then specify that.

xandriarain

I don’t think it’s a big deal to ask for a photo although I personally prefer video chat over a photo. I think it’s too much to ask for a drivers license.

Goddess_Kali

my issue with only asking for a photo or a video is that people can send any photo theyd like to, it doesn't have to be them, & a video chat sure you get to see what they look like, but neither of those give me any information about this person. I am trying to keep myself safe by making sure I have enough information about this stranger Im about to meet at a loation of their choosing to make sure that if something were to happen there would be a way for that person to be found. Yes, I could ask for a photo & send that with the address Im going to be at to a friend, but by the time an hour session goes by (& possibly even longer) theres no way Id still be anywhere near that location, or itd be too late for prevent something bad from happening.

I find it strange that people on this site are so against sending a photo of ID, while other cuddle webistes I am on actually encourage cuddlers to ask for ID before sessions & to perform any prescreening that they feel is appropriate to feel comfortable before a cuddle session.

So other than an ID what are some ways to provide myself that safety net? what are things that cuddlers would be more willing to provide? Because just a photo is NOT enough to deter a potential attacker. I am not trying to making anyone feel uncomfortable, but I refuse to put myself in a space where I do not feel comfortable as well. So I'm looking for ideas for you guys that could help me make sure that I & my clients each feel comfortable & safe.

Thank you guys for your opinions & help with this matter❤️

CuddleDuncan

@Goddess_Kali there's a good thread at the moment on the General board about screening. Have a read through that.

A photo on its own is useful, because if the person who you meet isn't the person in the photo you just get out of there.

In general, people aren't against the sending of ID in principle. (A few hardcases are, but they are the exception.) The problem is that safety is two-way: the client needs to feel safe and be safe too.

cuddleversed

@Goddess_Kali It doesn’t matter whether people are for or against it, you should implement the steps that make you feel safe, you don’t really need to argue your point, it’s your profile, your service and ultimately you on the line so if any prospective client need to show ID for you to feel safe then that’s it and that’s the end of it. The only thing you need to do as I said before is to clearly state it on your profile that if they’re not willing to send a copy of their drivers license then booking a session is not possible. That will screen out any people that don’t want to share a copy of their ID and it will happen before any conversation takes place. And if they want to convince you to book a session without showing ID just stand your ground and do business as you see fit.
I know that when I see a profile that has that requirement then I just move past it and contact somebody that doesn’t have it and so far in about 5 years here nobody has ever asked me for my ID not have I asked anybody for theirs.

If you want to verify their identification but they don't want to send ID, another thing you can offer is "please send me the link to your Facebook profile and a screenshot from inside your profile" (to prove it's them). (Like my attached pic but without the blurring. You could use Linkedin or other social media.)

CuddleDuncan

@Moxytocin haven't heard that one before. Clever.

earthlingLucy

@CuddleDuncan I guess you are right, it is a two-way street but in the sense of paid services, You wouldn't ask a travel Masseuse for their ID (although most of them require one), you wouldn't ask your therapist for theirs (even if you pay out of pocket, they still require your ID). Professional cuddling is a healing or therapeutic modality and I know it's up to each individual but I would not be afraid to give a copy of my ID to a professional.

I too have been toying with this idea myself. I've decided that anywhere I post my services outside of this site, I am going to require an ID.

CuddleWho

Professional cuddling is a healing or therapeutic modality

In some cases it certainly can be healing. But it is not therapy in the sense of being treated by a certified professional.

I would not be afraid to give a copy of my ID to a professional.

Professionals on this site are only "professionals" in the sense that they get paid. They have mostly not done any training, they are mostly anonymous, and a significant portion of them are scam artists (no disrespect to the many pros here who are really great). What actual difference is there between sending my ID to a pro on this site and sending my ID to a stranger on Tinder? It amounts to pretty much the same thing.

CuddleDuncan

@earthlingLucy, @CuddleWho is correct. One of the many problems our community faces is various types of people pretending to be professional cuddlers when they are not. When making a booking with somebody purporting to be a professional cuddler, the crimes to which the client is potentially exposed include robbery, theft, identity theft, abusive/threatening behaviour and sexual/indecent assault. And that's just the ones I've heard about.

A good compromise not already mentioned in this thread is a photo of the driving licence with the number blanked out.

If both parties understand the concerns of the other, and both are reasonable people who want to solve the problem, then everything is very likely to work out fine.

earthlingLucy

@CuddleWho I totally see that side of it. I guess I didn’t think of that because I tend to be naïve in thinking that people are genuine people (sigh)

But I do think, @CuddleDuncan , that covering the number would be a good idea. Maybe even the birthdate too. I also like the idea @Moxytocin has as well.

I think we all just want to feel safe but in actuality safety is relative and an illusion. Having a safety buddy with a safe sentence that will alert them if something goes wrong is the best way to go imo, with or without ID. A predator will be that, regardless.

CuddleDuncan

@earthlingLucy I prefer to think of it as ever-hopeful, rather than naïve!

achetocuddle

@CuddleWho is correct.
@earthlingLucy I operate with the idea that at least 51% here are genuine, but that a lot of the rest will be as good at acting genuine as the genuine people are. Think of it as showing your personal info to a stranger on the street, which none of us would do. It's the same thing until you get to know the people here well enough. I'm glad you are not jaded and cynical, but be careful

ubergigglefritz

I agree with @CuddleWho . I am very compassionate towards the bravery and trust it takes someone to travel to my house for a first session when they have no idea who I am. It doesn't matter how much karma you have, clients are under potential risk just as a professional is. I don't require ID, personally (and I wouldn't provide mine on this website), but I do ask for a $50 deposit. Some people are equally uncomfortable with that before meeting me, so for certain circumstances, I am willing to forego the deposit for an added fee to the session in person. Overall, I am compassionate with the risk on both sides, and all I can do is minimize my requirements as much as I can while still feeling comfortable and as safe as possible, while offering as much assurance for the other person as I can.