Hair washing and other underrated platonic touch activities

MxSmithMxSmith
edited July 2022 in General

I had someone describe to me how much they enjoyed the feeling of having their hair washed by another person. I have to agree it's absolutely fantastic and an underrated platonic touch activity! I don't really see how I could incorporate this into a cuddle session, but it's nice to find another human contact outlet. I was reading about it on Reddit and I guess that's totally a thing for touch deprived people especially in elderly communities. I've heard of people going to see a massage therapist when they are touch deprived, but never a hair salon. My grandmother goes to get her hair washed once/ week and is as faithful to her appointment as she is to Jesus Christ. I suddenly understand that it's not just about the hair. Cool! I like to be creative with types of touch and I'm looking for more ideas. For example, I've used a paint brush on skin before for soft touch (if you haven't tried that. Try it!!) What are some other activities that you enjoy that involve platonic touch that might not be given enough credit?

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Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Yesss, I've totally heard this about hair washing! Maybe @xandriarain could install one of those special sinks in her office space! That would be amazing.

    For the rest of us, I think we could get creative and do a mock hair-washing session, sort of like those ASMR videos...have them tip their head off the edge of the bed while we sit on the floor, and describe massaging in the shampoo, as we give a head massage, etc. I think it could be very effective...it's more likely the fingers and the sensation brought on by touch that people love, more than the water itself. 😊

    Beard treatments by barbers are also a super special experience, and I could totally see replicating that with make-up brushes (or a real shaving cream brush), warm towels, etc.

    I'm also thinking painting someone's nails would be lovely. I wouldn't recommend a full manicure with tools for safety and cleanliness reasons, but a sugar scrub, lotion, cuticle oil, and polish would be delightful.

    I've just started cuddling so I could be wrong, but I haven't seen many people talking about scratches. I gave two light back scratches at my first group cuddle, and then a deep double arm scratch to a friend at an individual cuddle. Getting my back scratched is my absolute favorite thing. Arms and even the backs of my hands feel amazing, getting scratched! I just don't see people talking about this, so I wanted to give it a shout-out. 🤩

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Finnegan2017Finnegan2017

    You know, I've got to agree with you. Having your hair washed by another person is a really nice feeling. I know that I once had a pedicure, I would put that right up there, too.

  • BigSmilesBigSmiles

    Have you been talking to Charles Boyle? 😂

    Kidding aside, deeply listening to someone can be a powerful experience for both parties.

  • jaswbrownjaswbrown

    I'm absolutely the same way, though it's less a hair wash and more a scalp massage for me... 😂 For me, it's any type of grooming, ie: hair washing, facial, mani-pedi, etc... The perfect day would be a spa day, followed by a lengthy cuddle... 🥰

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    I have long hair and it's A Big Deal in my cuddle life. Literally everyone I've cuddled with has played with my hair. One of my very close cuddlers brushed my hair, another braided it for me. I love it all! And I love to run my fingers through their hair too.

    I like to get as many senses involved as possible. Smell is important to me. I always make sure my breath is minty and I smell good. Three of my cuddlers have confessed that they keep clothing from our cuddle sessions and sleep with them because my scent comforts them and helps them sleep. I think that's sooooo cute ❤️

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Another one... I've had a few people ask me to draw or write on their back, lightly with my finger. Last night, my boyfriend asked me to "tattoo" him. 😊

    @jaswbrown I was thinking that, too...why not precede cuddles with a trip to the nail salon, together? 😁

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • MxSmithMxSmith

    @SunsetSnuggles that's so interesting about the other spa activities! I never thought of it that way. I don't ever go to salons tbh, but I've only ever thought of it for practical reasons and not just because it feels good. Of course manicure, pedicure and makeup could also just FEEL good. and a facial?
    I do like back scratches too, but not all scratching experiences are equal and I'm hesitant to offer that. I've had one particularly gross scratching experience that still has me cringing (very long dirty nails picking at my skin). Scratching feels like a thing that has tremendous potential to be great or gross so I'm hesitant to offer it.

    @Cuddle_RN I've got super long hair too, but I haven't had anybody offer to brush it or braid it. I think that would feel amazing. And yes to involving all the senses.

  • MxSmithMxSmith
    edited July 2022

    You guys. This might not be as far fetched as I thought.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    Hair washing for the touch is a Known Thing, at least to me. It can replicated quite easily in a cuddle session, it's the scalp massage part that is good. I wouldn't advertise it because you wouldn't want to do it with everybody, but you can bring it up during a session.

    Hair brushing is another example. It's not just the sensation of the brush, or the pull on the hair. It's partly the feeling of being groomed. Satisfying the old part of the brain. (Women cuddlers, be cautious of a man offering to brush your hair. It's not necessarily nefarious, but it is a standard step-on-the-road-to-seducation technique. It's fairly intimate and crosses an everyday social boundary. Work colleagues or casual friends do not brush each other's hair.)

    Scratching is absolutely a standard cuddle session thing. I love being scratched but always ask first: some people hate it. Arms are fine, but scratching a bare back arguably breaches the site's rules on remaining clothed during a session.

  • MxSmithMxSmith

    @CuddleDuncan this is so interesting. I had no idea about the hair washing thing being a known thing. And hair brushing actually doesn't feel particularly intimate to me or seductive (but my hair is often my enemy and so perhaps it has to do with how one feels about their hair?). And scratching feels way more problematic to me than hair grooming. I'm so fascinated with our different boundaries and perspectives around these activities!

  • jaswbrownjaswbrown

    @SunsetSnuggles Spa Day for me usually consists of hair, wax, facial, mani, pedi, then massage... It's been a while since I've done the full day, but I think it'd be fun to have a cuddle friend join me, then follow all that with a lengthy cuddle... I imagine some EXTREME relaxation vibes... 😁

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    Hmm. Washing my hair would not take very long.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter
    edited July 2022

    I think back scratching through fabric feels fine, plus then the scratcher doesn't have to worry about getting skin flakes under their nails.

    I love a good scratch (especially on my scalp).

    What gets me is that apparently gaming while cuddling is not a normal thing; sitting up close, side to side, one person's leg crossed over the other, arms linked, maybe.... You know, like this—

    —but with video game controllers. Or books: that's a good position for books, too. But gaming is especially fun, because when your buddy gets surprised you feel it and can tease them for jumping. ...And then you jump and they tease you.

    It really puts you in touch with how your buddy's feeling (and vice versa).

    Has anyone else here tried it?

  • sillysassysillysassy
    edited July 2022

    I am soooooooo loving this thread!! 😊😊😊

    People finding new ways to connect within the realm of THEIR comfort level with each other and their needs instead of a SINGULAR “this is how you do it” idea.

    There are a million different kinds of people and I believe connections are just as varied.

    There are so many fun ideas on here. Thank you @MxSmith for starting the ideas rolling!! @DaringSprinter I completely adore the gaming and book reading, feeling their reactions scenario!!! 🥰

    I especially enjoy finding interesting ways to get past those first “touch boundaries” Like dancing! It is a till public and creating a sense of security because you’re not locked away in a car or a hotel but creating a fun space to “get to know each other” with platonic touch. TOTALLY UNDERRATED!!

    I love love LOVE activities with cuddle peeps that lead to conversation and deeper connecting and I experienced a BRAND NEW moment today with a long time cuddle friend. 🥰

    We had TWO kayaks and instead on jumping into one we connected the two and we each took half a paddle and made our way around the lake. Fish were jumping…. Hands were held….. we were floating…. Conversation and connectedness appeared so magically. ☀️💛🥹

    And we had a lovely little bit of food….

    A SNACKLE BOX instead of a tackle box!! 😂

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    @MxSmith I absolutely love exploring and sharing experiences and ideas and really appreciate this creative thread ! I’ve recently begun to incorporate paint brushes into my sessions and purposefully get pointed manicures to enrich the scratching, tracing and tickling sensations which nails can deliver. @SunsetSnuggles Scratching for the win! 💜
    I’ve always relished the brain tingling bliss incited by having my hair washed though I don’t know that I could feasibly incorporate that into a session. @Cuddle_RN I love hair play as well, both doing it and having my hair braided or played with though this can require excellent communication and trust because I am very tender headed. If someone is comfortable receiving hair play and attention I really enjoy giving that. I like to run my fingers through hair and gently drag fingers across scalp. Feels downright incredible.
    @jaswbrown It sounds like your self care is top notch!! I commend you 😊😊
    @Finnegan2017 Couldn’t with you more about pedicures! Pure bliss!
    @BigSmiles Deeply listening is powerfully connecting 💜
    @sillysassy I love the way you mention there is not a one size fits all here.

  • BookishGuyBookishGuy

    So you're telling me that if I buy a used medical van and install a salon-style hairwashing sink inside, I can achieve the dream and become a paid male cuddler of women?

    (Takes furious notes.)

  • justjennnjustjennn

    @sillysassy you are just the cutest damn thing! A snackle box, I can't even with the precious thoughtfulness 🤯😊🤗

    My business partner was at a networking event recently. A woman came up to her and said she needed a handful of her cards. She is a dental hygienist and says that her patients are constantly thanking her for touching them while getting their teeth cleaned! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT that we'd be at a place in our society that getting your teeth cleaned is your only known and acceptable form of touch!? This event took place last week and she's already been asked to supply more cards.

    ANYWAYS ... I super loved my hands being held, but also, squeezed! I had no idea I enjoyed this one particular hand thing, until @safensecure4u2 did it once. I've been hooked ever since!

    Playing in the pool recently with my kids, one of my neighbors playfully pulled my legs out from underneath me or would wrap his legs around me underwater. I didn't realize how much fun that was and how much I would laugh when he was successful. I find going to the pool without that level of platonic touch sub par now!😆

    My neighbors and I have created a big family over the years and we LOVE to play football. Usually, it's two hand touch, but something happened during our adult game a few weeks ago, and we all just started tackling the nonsense out of each other. WHAT A RELEASE (annnnnnnd thank you, dear chosen family, for touching me!)

    Dancing in the rain with friends and hugging at the beginning or ends of my in-person Al-Anon meetings have been a great comfort these days, too!

    So many creative ways I have learned to get the touch I crave, while normalizing it for everyone else, too!

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Awwww you guys!!! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!
    ♥️♥️♥️

  • robroorobroo

    On behalf of bald men everywhere...😭😭😭 lol! Although scalp massages feel good too.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    I actually watch scalp massage videos at work sometimes - it's actually kind of relaxing. Lol

  • [Deleted User]Lovingtouch222 (deleted user)
    edited July 2022

    Water inherently has a super high vibration so that’s why when someone lays hands on you (especially around your crown chakra) with loving intention it is able to increase the healing energy. I’ve heard of a healer in California who does his energy work in water and holds you like a baby. This sounds like magic to me as we were formed in water and are 70% water. Don’t underestimate the power of a good healing bath to clear energy and reset your mind. If you want a supercharged bath be sure to add pink Himalayan sea salt as that is another powerful tool to clear energy. Anyways, thank u for posting this topic @mxsmith !

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @Lovingtouch222: The molecular vibration of water gets even higher the hotter it gets. Try a nice, loving bath in boiling water for peak vibrational goodness! Yeah, sounds like magic to me, too... that is, something outside reality with no basis in it.

    Anyhow, magical vibrations and healing energy aside, hot baths (within human tolerance) really can be good for you. Just... not during a cuddle. No getting naked and wet during a CC-arranged cuddle, please.

    And don't expect snuggling up to an ugly giant bag of mostly water* to deliver the same benefits as a warm bath!

    (Note: Data was wrong. The average percentage of water in the human body is actually ~60%. Still funny, though.)

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @DaringSprinter Lol. It's funny how satisfying spooning an ugly giant bag of mostly water can be :)

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @achetocuddle: Ha! Yeah, I think it's on account of that's not all we are. For one, we've got hormones and neurotransmitters in there too. Hooray for oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin!

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @DaringSprinter Yeah, especially when I get some of those. Lol. Just think how much you are gonna have to tell us about when you get your library card. Hurry up! ha ha ha

  • MorganMont81MorganMont81

    I just love some of these ideas!! 💖 Absolutely am one that loves my hair played with and washed. 🤗

  • entwineentwine

    Agree on the hair washing.

    There is a reason sports clips keeps getting my business.

  • CuddleForDIDCuddleForDID

    I wouldn't really want anyone messing with my hair personally. A couple reasons.

    1. I've been gradually loosing my hair since I hit 30 and kind of self conscious about it.

    2. I've stopped cutting my hair, partly because it helps hide the bald spot and partly because a few of my alters wanted it long. I personally don't like it long, it's constantly getting in my way. I've been use to taking my shirt off from the top grabbing the collar in the back and pulling it over my head back when I had short hair but now when I do that I accidentally grab my own hair and pull it with the shirt. I suddenly started to realize why most girls lift from the bottom of the shirt rather than the top.

    Anyway it's weird enough when I'm co-con with another alter and catch myself playing with my hair cause I don't even like touching my own hair let alone having some one else do it. You could ask and depending on who's fronting they might say it's OK but for me personally, no thank you.

  • MxSmithMxSmith

    @CuddleForDID thanks for expressing that boundary. Of course everyone has their preference around types of touch and it's ok even if you don't have any reason except " I don't like it". I can certainly say that I don't like just anyone washing or touching my hair. In fact I think I would have PTSD flashbacks if my own mother tried to wash my hair (I got lice a lot as a kid). Also my mother is particularly against having her hair touched because she spends great lengths of time coiffing her hair and sprays a lot of hairspray on it and if so much as a ghust of wind touches her she runs for shelter.

    @Lovingtouch222 interesting! I wonder if you know about this water therapy I can't seem to remember what its called. It's where one person just floats in any body of water and the other person gently pulls them through the water while they relax completely. I think it was originally for pregnant women or people with special needs, but I would love to try this. I wonder if this is the same thing that your friend practices. Someone a while back had talked about it here on CC and I can't find it or figure out what its called.

    @DaringSprinter your comment about hot boiling bags of water vibrating made me think of one of my favorite water practices which is smoking the weed and sitting in a shower turned up as hot as I can stand. It's an odd euphoric experience. You kind of aren't sure if your skin is burning off, but it also feels amazing. Would recommend with a nice speaker pumping the tunes so you can really feel the beat of your sweet boiling water vibrations. Lol.

  • MeyousMeyous

    Hair washing is sooo soothing, I’d get one exclusively with running water; shampoo not needed.

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