@DaringSprinter 🤣😁😂 I just absolutely adore the way you phrase things. hahahhahaha
While I completely agree with @DaringSprinter about CC rules and not getting naked with a cuddle peep etc etc etc I do love water as an activity with someone I know and trust. To be in a swimming pool or Hot Springs creates a very fun experience. Especially when its also out in nature. It gives you the ability to connect or play in a different way.... Thinking about when its too hot to cuddle without being wildly uncomfortable and instead getting in a cool pool of water to hang out and chat or get a piggy back ride around the pool.
When its too hot to cuddle..... you can touch a little but not a LOT hahhahaha
This reminds me of something I tried once..... Just for the experience of something completely different than the traditional being completely squished up next to and wrapped around etc.
We purposefully positioned ourselves further away than normal and focused on one singular body part without all of the others touching. It was lovely to feel something so specifically like a hand massage or calf. It didn't get lost in all the other touches. So fun to give and receive permission to explore things in a non-traditional "spoon me" kind of way. 😊
How about wrestling or Jiu Jitsu?
@Narrowpath wrestling and Jiu Jitsu are interesting. I've never really done either and it's not my thing, but I definitely think a lot of people find connection through that. Unfortunately, it's not a thing we can do on CC because of the fetish issue that comes up. But then again, I'm sure hair stuff is definitely a fetish category too. It's tricky because most things 'could' be a fetish, but we recognize certain ones that are more common than others.
When I go to get my haircut I always have her shampoo my hair. Just so she will scratch my scalp. To me that feeling is so relaxing and brings you into a calm and peaceful place.
@CuddleDuncan For sure, the back scratches I gave were over their shirts. I'm not about to collect someone's sweaty DNA under my lovely fingernails, muhaha!
~ Sunset Snuggles
@Narrowpath I’ve trained in jiu jitsu and wrestling as well as kickboxing. The different gyms are like families and promote immense connectivity and deep bonds. Very physical and engaging and would definitely be a great way to get needs for touch met outside of platonic cuddling.
I completely agree with @Nature_Lover_ about the gyms promoting community! There is indeed a lot of contact and it’s a wonderful way to meet people and feel apart of something. Jiu jitsu is kinda like aggressive cuddling lol.
Good thing they invented shampoo. Imagine washing your hair with real poor.
More ideas for the list.
@MxSmith ... I love Gua Sha and dry brushing. There are patterns to consider when doing them, but they are nice.
Everything related to my hair or head, I love! this one time after I washed my hair, I felt too tired to dry them and my BF at the time, blow dry my hair and brush them, it felt so great! It reminded me when I was younger, my big brother used to brush my hair every morning 🤗🤍
@Narrowpath I'd do jiu-jitsu without charging as a pro lol! I've always want to learn 😄
I love love love back scratches, head scratches and arm scratches.
Himalayan pink salt comes from Pakistan, not the Himalayas. One worker at the Khewra salt mine is quoted as saying, “We regularly witness deaths and are paid very little.” Knowing that, I can’t see how it would raise the vibrations of any bath I’d want to put myself in. I can get salt that hasn’t travelled half way across the planet that’s been mined by workers who have safer and better working conditions. It’s just salt.
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/dirty-truth-about-the-pink-salt-beloved-by-wests-clean-eaters-nscsn3p55
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140623064255-201270281-8-things-you-need-to-know-about-himalayan-salt
Some people like the sensation of scraping on their skin but there is nothing therapeutic about breaking capillaries which, unfortunately, is often a byproduct. One also needs to keep in mind that skin scraping can bring minute amounts of blood and other potentially infectious material to the surface of the skin. Few people who practice gua sha disinfect their tools properly.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that NY Times article on “lymphatic health” is full of misinformation. Contrary to what therapists claim, manual lymphatic drainage is not supported by research. Most of the claims made by practitioners of these therapies are not supported by research and, in fact, a lot of the claims have been completely debunked. I know because I’ve been reading the research on this stuff for 10+ years. Just the concept of “lymphatic health” is pretty suspect. Unless you have an obvious pathology, the best thing you can do to get your lymph moving is exercise. Just take a walk around the block. And if anyone starts talking about toxins - run, don’t walk, in the other direction and keep your hands on your wallet.
If it feels good, do it. Most of it is relatively harmless except for things like gua sha which can break capillaries, cause pain, and damage the skin. Don’t buy the hype because that’s what it is, hype.
Here is the bottom line: humans and other mammals are wired to respond to touch and focused attention. We also respond to novel stimulation. Some people prefer one type over another but none of them has any distinct advantage over others.
Here’s a platonic touch activity I enjoy immensely - dancing. I’m starting to get back into it. It’s social, it’s exercise, and it’s physical contact with other human beings. It exercises your mind and your body. I reach ecstatic states when I’m dancing.
@Babichev, I always learn so much from your comments. Sometimes scary things! I googled "gua sha" and learned about a flesh-eating disease. Yikes.
I really appreciate your posts. Thank you for being you.
@Babichev I am similarly skeptical of these therapies. I agree, the claims are sus. Regardless of any type of physical healing, I think these would feel really nice. I'm fascinated by how people find ways to experience therapeutic platonic touch. That's really interesting about the "Himalayan" salt.
I’ve been a science-based massage therapist for 30+ years. Predatory misinformation is epidemic in my field. My position is that not only is misinformation harmful, we don’t need it. Bottom line: massage feels good. Period. And sometimes it can temporarily relieve pain. We don’t need bogus claim. People like massage, it feels good.
Most MTs are not science or research literate and so they are sitting ducks for the charlatans who would take advantage of their ignorance. They then pass on this misinformation to their clients. Clients cannot give informed consent if they are not given accurate information.
I make only two modest claims as a massage therapist: that I’m good at making people feel good and I’m able to help some people with pain to have less pain. That’s it. It has not hurt my practice one bit and clients appreciate my honesty.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the last 10 years learning how to read and evaluate research relevant to manual therapy and pain. It’s made me a better therapist. I made it my mission to write about that research in terms most MTs should be able to understand in an effort to bridge the gap between research and practice. I do not think that bogus claims are good for our profession or for our clients. They are unnecessary and harmful.
Some people think that this takes the magic out of the experience but my response to that is that they have it backwards. It actually enhances and deepens my excitement and wonder to better understand how touch works. I ask: when you stand outside at night, gaze at the stars, and contemplate that you are seeing gigantic balls of flaming gases that are billions of light years away, does that make it less awesome? Because I can barely wrap my head around that, thinking that these photons travelled for a million years or more to end their journey at my eyeball. That by some weird twist of fate there was an uninterrupted path between me and their source. That some of those “stars” are galaxies composed, themselves, of billions of stars. If that doesn’t blow your mind then I would humbly suggest you are not paying attention.
So it is with manual therapy. I learned a long time ago that we manual therapists cannot possibly be doing most of the things we were told we were doing. Was it a disappointment? Sometimes. But then I learned the role of the nervous system and the brain and about current research and a whole new world opened up to me.
Consider this: When we were first a fertilized egg, we started out as a clump of undifferentiated cells. At a point, they started differentiating into three layers: the endoderm, which goes on to become the internal organs; the mesoderm, which goes on to become the musculoskeletal system; and the ectoderm, which goes on to become the brain, the nervous system, and the skin. They are linked together from the beginning.
There are literally only three nerves between the skin and the brain. When we touch someone’s skin, our hand is only three synapses from their brain. Our brain and their brain are only six synapses apart. If that doesn’t amaze you, I don’t know what to say.
All these myriad ways of touching, making contact, stimulate responses that are hardwired into us. They support bonding with others of our species which helps assure our survival. Primates spend about 30% of their waking time grooming each other or sitting in close contact. That’s more than necessary for simple hygiene. In addition, our brain likes novel stimulation. Of course we enjoy these various ways of having our sensory nerves soothed and excited.
So, I have no trouble at all of acknowledging all the various ways of input that we enjoy. It’s delicious. I just want to make sure that people are not misled in the process.
Here’s what the NYT got wrong: it’s not lymphatic health that is all the rage, it’s novel tactile stimulation. If people were told that “lymphatic health” required taking a run around the block every day it would not be nearly so much the rage. It’s being touched in new and different ways that attracts people’s attention. The “lymphatic health” angle is just an excuse to do it.
A manicure or pedicure possibly.
@Babichev I appreciate your insight , and what you describe about massage is the same way I feel about cuddling . It is an awesome thing to do and is like no other , but I see great irresponsibility and harm in selling it as some sort of miracle water . That doesnt take away from the joyfulness of it. Something can be both amazing as well as not possessing paranormal powers.
There are some great ideas in this thread. I love the idea of side by side activities with non-constant touch - like occasionally slightly leaning in to each other so your arms touch while playing a game or watching something. Or I've seen reading together mentioned by a couple people, maybe with a lower leg slightly overlapped now and then. Or even back to back or side to side out somewhere on a nice day.
Honestly I just think it would be nice to sit on a bench near someone that I feel comfortable with, and just enjoy the sunshine and maybe see some dogs running around. (Just set a timer and fist bump every 10 minutes so it counts as physical affection (joking))
I go every 6 to 8 weeks to get my hair colored and It’s mostly for the amazing shampoo I get. I’ve told the person how amazing it is and she has extended the wash and even massaged my scalp. It is very amazing.