Can a guy get paid to cuddle on here?

I’m starting to realize I might have a cuddle energy worth sharing with people other than the professional therapists. Can I set myself up to be booked on here as a man for woman? I feel like woman probably have a lot more options for physical touch so it might not be a thing for them to need to do such a thing but just curious.

I would love to make myself available to cuddle and share my energy with more people.

PS I’m in the DMV area

CuddleDuncan

Yes you can. There are a number of men professionals here.

But read the sticky threads at the top of the Professional board before getting carried away.

BookishGuy

I pondered applying for an account and charging $1.99 an hour... but after the $19.99 monthly fee, I'd hate to be down $18.99 every month.

There are so many enthusiast men that I'm not sure how much demand there is for male pros.

sunnysideup

Not very much demand. On top of that, you need to be able to show that your cuddle experience will be better/safer/more healing than the best free cuddles she can get.

This is mainly a service (truth hurts I know) that caters to men (generally). I know, very odd and strange, but it’s truth. Unlike massage service, that proportionally caters equally to both genders.

Men greatly seek the female attention, no surprise, and that’s been like this for ions. I thinks it’s more common bc of the attention and pure love they seek. It’s a motherly comfort

UCpaaHVg6u0

Later this month I'm going to break my gender barrier for cuddling, as an experiment. It's bothered me for a while, that we talk about cuddling as platonic and yet gender matters a lot for some, including the majority of men here. The background is that I'm a massage therapist. Initially, in my earliest experiences in massage school, I felt a slight hesitation to work on men, particularly if they were copiously hirsute. Quickly that subsided as my attention was focused on what's under the skin. I want to see if I can get the same benefits from cuddling a man. I'll post the results. If I was going to be a pro cuddler, given that most people here are men, it would not make fiscal sense to refuse my services to the vast majority here.

CuddleDuncan

@UCpaaHVg6u0 good luck! I'd love to hear how you get on.

cogsandgears

I absolutely would pay for cuddling with a man, but it needs to be "worth" what I'd be paying. Not in a sexual sense, obviously. If I'm going to pay, I expect my safety and comfort be the number one top priority AS THE DEFAULT, to be the focus of the cuddling attention, my requests accommodated (within reason).

With someone who isn't charging, I feel a certain responsibility to make sure the man I'm cuddling also enjoys the experience. If I'm paying, as long as I'm following rules of common courtesy and not violating his limits (such as one would follow with any personal paid service like a massage or manicure), I would expect my preferences to be followed. Women "out in the wild" are socialized to put male satisfaction above our own and often do so for our own safety, which for example might look like me agreeing to be big spoon on a day when I want to be little spoon. In this example, if I'm paying (and it's not a hard limit), I expect the guy to agree to be big spoon without pushing back on it. I am paying for the man to do the emotional labor of putting my wishes above his own.

Also, if I'm paying, ngl I probably want to hire a man better looking than I could reasonably expect to find willing to cuddle me in the wild. Money is the only way a woman who looks like me can punch above my weight class, same as with men.

TheFunCartel

I am paying for the man to do the emotional labor of putting my wishes above his own.

Bingo!! Unfortunately this doesn’t always happen with female pros either, so I imagine the odds are worse in getting that with a male pro. Just an opinion based on 60 years of being around men. There are some good guys but you have to mine for them like a grizzled prospector if you are a woman.

sunnysideup

@cogsandgears Yes I'm inclined to agree with so much of what you said. That's pretty much the difference between an enthusiast cuddler and a professional; enthusiast interactions should be as close to 50-50 as possible while a professional should cater to the client's needs within reason. And if we're paying for it, they may as well be attractive. And this is not a dating site, so I'm not so sure about the punching above our weight class thing as we're not dating on here. But in reality, enthusiasts are for sure using attractiveness as a filter for finding other enthusiasts so it does apply in that way (but not everyone does this).

cogsandgears

@sunnysideup No, we're not dating of course. But I would be lying to myself if I denied that part of what I am looking for, if I'm paying, is attention and physical closeness with someone who normally wouldn't spit on me if my hair was on fire.

I'm not going to be a jerk to people about it though, paid or not. I've had men on dating apps approach me as if I'm a SW, then try to haggle with me because they think that because I'm fat I should also be cheap??? People are making their TIME and energy the commodity, you accept what price they value it at regardless of what they look like, because they are still people who deserve your respect, even if you don't find them attractive.

EDIT: I have no doubt people use attractiveness as a soft filter for unpaid cuddling. But that's a different discussion for a different thread, I think.

Minestrone101

@cogsandgears Wow! With the real talk. Lol High level self dep too! She's like Ledos bc she doesn't cut corners! Lol

cuddler5617

You can work as a male pro. It is a lot harder to secure jobs than it is a female pro. Don’t get me wrong being a female pro has challenges that most male pros do not face. But while most men just hire a female pro male pros have potentially months of working to build a trust level and even then the session may not occur. You have to be willing to put in that time. If you only cuddle women, you will cut your clientele down by 70%. From my experience gay men want to hire straight men because they get the touch and connection they seek without the fear of having someone make a move on them. I would highly recommend cuddling at least one guy to try it out. Not all energies are the same and men have a type of energy that women do not, women have a separate energy. That’s my two cents. I wish you the best of luck with your cuddle ventures.

safensecure4u2

As a Professional male cuddler, I can say that I have had the opportunity to meet lots of wonderful people on here and yes I do get paid. It isn’t a get rich quick deal but I definitely can say that I don’t have any objection to paying my monthly fee. I am looking forward to LV and hope all has a safe and secure cuddle experiences.

zerocantaloupe

I would like to point out that in this thread, a woman received minimal push-back about saying that if she's paying for cuddling services, the guy might as well be attractive. I understand that this guy delivered it more harshly, but there are quite a lot of speeches on that thread about how wrong/objectifying it is to even consider looks.

CuddleWho

@zerocantaloupe Since the post you linked to has been edited away, based on the replies I had assumed the post was truly vile and offensive. But then I saw the screen shot, and... well, it's a bit harsh, and not something I'd say, but man it's so much tamer than I expected based on the comments. Your pictures should represent how you actually look. Is this really controversial?

This is definitely one of several areas where the forum applies a double standard to men and women, and also seems to be out of touch with how cuddling works in practice. The consensus view of this forum is extremely different from the overall opinion of pros I've met in person.

That said, this is a double standard that I don't have as much of a problem with as some others. Men attempting to sexualize cuddle sessions is a more persistent problem than the reverse, and while I think the flat "Don't consider appearance at all in a cuddle partner" is delusional, it can be seen as a response to the sexualization of cuddles, which is understandable.

Diver8671

@zerocantaloupe It's a double standard. Not surprising on these forums or in life, unfortunately. Generally speaking, when a woman makes her physical standards known it's her right to know her worth and she is encouraged to never settle for less. But when a man does the same thing it's "misogynistic and entitled."

cogsandgears

facepalm I knew this was coming.

The guy everyone piled on said that the woman should be charging him less money because she wasn't as pretty as he thought she was. The reason that is bad is because it is equating someone's time and skill as having less monetary value because of a subjective measure of their appearance.

Please note that I specifically and explicitly said that a person has the right to charge whatever they like, and I do not have the right to haggle with them because I think they aren't as good looking as they're charging for. I do not believe that it is realistic to insist that only cuddling skill matters when choosing a cuddle partner. But I also do not think it is necessary to tell a person, let alone post to a community at large, that they are less valuable than they think they are based on their appearance. A person is not a thing.

Either you accept the price someone is asking for, based on whatever metrics you privately choose to consider, or you do not bother them. This goes regardless of gender.

Also, and I am biting my tongue VERY hard here to not be a sarcastic bitch about it, women live with appearance based judgement of our value everywhere, every day, in every aspect of our lives, affecting us monetarily, socially, in education, entertainment, the justice system, at work, from the minute we are born until either the day we are considered too old to be attractive enough to men or the day we die, whichever comes first. I assure you, there are plenty of double standards for men to put effort into caring about; this is not one of them.

CuddleWho

@cogsandgears

That's kind of a misrepresentation of what he said - he didn't haggle with anyone, or say he wanted to haggle with anyone. He did say he'd be willing to pay more for a more attractive cuddle partner, but isn't that what you're saying too? In fact, you're saying someone's attractiveness would make the difference of whether you're willing to pay anything at all. What's the difference between you saying "I'd pay $0 to cuddle someone less attractive, but $50 for someone more attractive" and him saying "I'd pay $80 to cuddle someone less attractive, but $120 for someone more attractive" ?

Moreover, that's not really why people piled on him; at least, no one else in that thread really seems to have brought up that specific issue. They mostly seemed to take issue with the entire concept of him choosing a cuddle partner based on appearance.

For the record, I don't really have a problem with what you said originally. If you prefer to cuddle someone you find attractive, and would be more likely to pay based on that criterion, knock yourself out. But I do find it extremely disingenuous of you to split hairs in order to try to justify why it's OK for you to express this preference but somehow not OK for a man to express it.

zerocantaloupe

Another key difference is that the guy in the thread got a bait-and-switch — she had outdated pictures and then he only realized the change once they met in person. But he’s not supposed to call this out at that moment because it might emotionally devastate her. But a guy’s emotions (and the forum's rules about attacks and name-calling) are fair game for complaining about basically anything on the forum, such as the unforgivable offense of being slightly upset for being blocked by someone.

cogsandgears

@CuddleWho This has already been rehashed plenty in other threads. I'm not interested in relitigating why what he said is problematic.

I also did not say "I'd pay $0 to cuddle someone less attractive, but $50 for someone more attractive." I said, as advice to the OP, that if I as a woman agree to pay a man to cuddle, here's what I expect: safety, comfort, my cuddle needs to be the priority within reason. And I said that if I'm going to be paying to be the focus anyway, I'm going to take appearance into consideration, along with other factors, when making my choice who to hire. It's not a "this person is more valuable/less valuable" situation, as you are framing it. If you do not see the difference, I don't know what to tell you.

I agree a lot with what @cogsandgears said on this thread so far and would say, as a man, more or less the same. Emotional labor is labor. Period. As far as an answer to the topic at hand here -cough cough- I see no difference in gender, the differences I see are only in the amount emotional labor performed and so far just from this thread alone I notice a few bad apples I would stay six feet away from. Period.

pmvines

To the men complaining about double standards, when women are looking to cuddle from what i gather safety, security , not being treated like a sex object , empathy, etc are right up there at the top of the list . I'm sure looks do play a role as well, however not the primary factor, as seems to be the case with so many men, hence the thread brought up earlier about the person who was mad about his cuddler being heavier and less attractive than what he thought she would be . This is hardly a double standard for women voicing their preferences for cuddling .

zerocantaloupe

@pmvines What I got from it was that the things you mentioned were prerequisites for enthusiasts as well as pros, but if they’re going to pay money, then there’s higher standards including attractiveness.

But men should just take what they got from their money and shut up about it because they’re acting entitled otherwise.

I don’t mind that there are different standards due to a demand imbalance, but I’d rather people stop acting like there isn’t. And I don’t want to see surprised pikachu faces about men feeling unsafe expressing emotions when they get dumped on in the very same forum when they do it.

RoneTone

Speaking of the subject I got a message from a guy named beep saying he wants to book a cuddle session for his sister with me and a lot of red flags are going up

Sorry. I had to remove the name, but yes, definitely report if you're having a problem with another member. ~Shake

@RoneTone If you feel there is cause for concern, report him.

CuddleWho

@cogsandgears and @pmvines

The distinctions you're making are meaningless and/or false. This is the very definition of a double standard.

Be honest here... if the poster in the other thread had prefaced that post with a paragraph carefully explaining that a person's attractiveness does not determine their entire worth and that it's not the only attribute he looks for in a cuddler... do you think all those commenters who piled on him would have instead been perfectly OK with it?

Of course not. They would have piled on him just as much. People reacted negatively to that post because they have a visceral negative reaction to a man expressing his preferences and describing some women as less attractive than others. That's it.

In fact, it's already obvious that he cares about other attributes in a cuddler too (he specifically says he'd pay for a cuddler he didn't find attractive), so that whole premise just has no connection to reality.

alexb2

@hizzie try offering free cuddles first. If you have lots of offers, then move to charging for cuddles.

CaringSoul

The OP deleted his profile.

TrialKing

I didn't know there is a monthly fee for pros isthat a new thing my female friend that used the platform along time ago says she only get charged for percentage of cuddles she dk and not a flat monthly but if that's a new thing that's understandable