*Rant* How Did/Do You All Deal With a Job You Hate?

I don’t even know where to start. I normally hate my job (I haven’t had any luck finding something new), but today was a whole new level of terrible. It started when I got called in to my manager’s office. I’m one of the hardest workers, so me having an off day yesterday kind of annoyed him. I left a few minutes early yesterday because I finished early (I let him know before I leave), but he still addressed that with me this morning. And he used profanity when talking with me (not cursing at me, but still used curse words). That is so unprofessional. I didn’t appreciate that at all. On top of that, the person who was supposed to work with me this morning didn’t show up. No call, no show. So I had to train someone to do the job duties. I didn’t have a problem with that because the trainee caught on really quick. And then right before I was about to leave, oh I need you to do…”. I was holding back anger. I was seething. I don’t get paid enough for this. The only downside of being a hard worker is having your boss be hard on you and have higher expectations for you. I actually cried at work today. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’m still crying now. No job is worth this much stress and tears. The only reason I haven’t quit is because I don’t have something else lined up yet. Sorry this is so long. How do you guys deal with a job you hate? And those who worked a job you hate in the past, how did you deal with it? I’m in dire need of a hug and someone to talk to.

zerocantaloupe

Find another job while you work this one, and quit without notice. That’s the only way these businesses learn. If corporations were truly people like the Supreme Court claims, they’d be psychopaths…show them no mercy.

MxSmith

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I have been there. I once saw an entire department quit because my boss threw pencils at them. It's unacceptable for a person in power to treat you like this (for ANY person). I'd start looking for jobs for sure, alternatively, have you heard of quiet quitting?

@MxSmith I’m not familiar with quiet quitting. That’s a new term for me.

MxSmith

It's been all over social media lately and I'm 100% here for this movement. Here's a link https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/23/style/quiet-quitting-tiktok.html

CuddleDuncan

Sorry to hear you are having such a rubbish time. @zerocantaloupe is right, keep looking and get out of there. A boss who is annoyed because you had a day, or legitimately left early, off is somebody you just don't need. Your immediate boss is actually one of the most important people in your life, but people give it no thought.

I used to have a job I hated with a passion. My immediate boss, it must be said, was the best boss I ever worked for and a genuinely nice man. Anyway, I created some distant long-range goal - I can't remember exactly what - using an Excel spreadsheet, created in quiet moments. There was a bewildering range of inputs you could play with. The crucial thing is that the output was a timer, which counted the time remaining to the goal in seconds. The goal was years and years always, so the number was huge and it never meaningfully went down. But watching the seconds tick off got me through many a bad moment.

Anybody who has never cried in the toilet work is .... is ... actually now you come to mention it, I don't think that's a Thing. I sure have.

@zerocantaloupe they will be extremely upset when I eventually leave, but oh well. And what you mentioned is good ole karma 😁

zerocantaloupe

@Emerald20772 Just remember how much they cared about not making you extremely upset when you stayed.

Opulence

I know the feeling. @zerocantaloupe is completely right. If they show you no heart then don't give them yours. If you need a reference from this person get it now before you do the following:

If he has a code of conduct to follow use that against him. If he asks you to do something not in your job description, then you can talk your way out of that. As soon as you get a new job, leave.

KansasDad

Been there. I have had my share of toxic bosses. Sometimes just taking proactive small steps toward your next gig can help you through this one, knowing you are not permanently trapped. Also if you can, try to save some money or otherwise put yourself in a position where you could survive without the job if you had to. I have been terminated more than once, and it always led to something better. The key was getting through the short term crunch. Best of luck. I know this is such a miserable place to be and so not worth it for whatever they pay.

Meyous

For so many years I hated this job and it got so progressively worse that I had unsettling anxiety, every, single, Sunday night I was scheduled to work Monday. If I was off Monday, my anxiety started Monday night because I was schedule to return Tuesday, and on, and on🤦🏽‍♀️
I prayed every night for a way out in my favor; it finally happened. Well, at times I did miss the money but not the internal agony🙏🏽
How to deal with it? Exit, stage left!

GreatHornedOwl

@zerocantaloupe - Quitting without notice may make you feel good at the moment, but the immediate pleasure isn't worth the risk. Many prospective employers will check references with all previous employers. Can you guess what kind of a reference he will get after quitting without notice?

zerocantaloupe

@GreatHornedOwl The applicant gives the list of references, and most companies won't do anything beyond confirming job titles and dates of employment when called out of fear of being sued. As long as Emerald doesn't put down references that will bring that up, it's unlikely to be discovered.

Also, most norms and alternative control structures that served as the glue for polite society have been destroyed at this point, especially in the business and political world. If a business is not going to follow the norms for me, I'm not going to follow the norms for them.

Babichev

I once planned on giving a spa where I was working part time two weeks notice before quitting because I was taught that’s what you do. They told me to finish my shift that day and then not to come back. They did not want me informing my clients that I would be leaving out of fear that my clients would want to know how to find me elsewhere. So much for being considerate of one’s employer.

They aren’t going to change. Find another job.

zerocantaloupe

Society rewards sociopathic behavior for decades

People stop being good

Society:

Meyous

Actually, @zerocantaloupe, it’s illegal to give a bad reference, they can only verify former employment along with dates & salary.

CuddleDuncan

Some people are saying that when the moment comes you should just basically say goodbye and wave as you walk out of the door. But this is not the right way to do it.

If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing right. In this case, the right way is to prepare the workplace for your departure. I recommend a beautiful fresh fish hidden somewhere unfindable. In your boss's office I mean. If there are suspended lights, then on top of a light is a good one. The heat helps things along, shall we say. Or in the depths of a filing cabinet in a folder marked "confidential". Perhaps even taped to the back of the filing cabinet, wrapped in suitably permeable hosiery.

The fish must be very fresh, perhaps even frozen, so it doesn't make its presence felt for a couple of days. For added amusement, put a $5 bill in the fish's mouth. If they find it, this will drive them nuts.

Feel free to let any very allied colleagues in on the joke, but a few days later.

zerocantaloupe

@CuddleDuncan I don’t recommend that. The legal system is one of the few systems capable of enforcing an approximation of civilized human behavior, and if you have to work, you don’t have the money or political power to be immune from it.

You can’t get arrested for holding important institutional knowledge in your head and leaving without having written it down, though…

CoolCuddler11

Hey Emerald20772 - this really resonnates with me and I want to thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you're experiencing this and I've been here before. If I may, I'd love to offer you a few tips when I was at a job that was a bad fit for me:

1. If you can help it, please do not quit your job before you have another one lined up. I know how hard it is, but not having income and potentially a loss of access to health care is another challenge onto itself.
2. Outside of your job, make sure your doing you do your best to take of yourself mentally and physically. Eat right, get sleep, spend time talking to family and friends, do things that you enjoy.
3. Prep your resume and carve out an hour or two each day to apply to jobs and/or network. This part can be hard for so many reasons, but try your best to schedule at a hour each day to apply to jobs or so things that will lead to a job interview. Even if the application is automated that's a step and you'll feel good about the progress your making.
4. Try to save your lunch hour, vacation days, and sick days for job interviews - you will have interviews coming your way. Try to save your break/vacation time for those so you can freely focus.
5. Leave professionally - eventually, you might need a reference (even just dates) or your W2 or whatever. Don't burn bridges if it can be helped. Once you get your new job - give your notice and let them decide how they want to move forward.

I hope this helps - would be happy to chat in the future if you'd like.

@CoolCuddler11 Those were excellent pieces of advice. That was very considerate of you.

Minestrone101

A well-written resume.

GreatHornedOwl

@Meyous - It's best not to give out legal advice when you don't know what you're talking about. You can cause problems for people who might believe you, and then act on that belief. I defy you to quote a law in any state that makes the act of giving out bad references illegal.

If you bother to do even a little bit of research, you will discover that in all 50 states, any reference (good or bad) is legal so long as it is truthful, and is related to the job.

If I give a reference that says Sam would sometimes show op for work drunk, That would be legal if it were true. If I give a reference that says Sam beats his wife, even if true,that would not be legal, because it is not job related.

achetocuddle

@GreatHornedOwl I'm glad you spoke up. I can't believe that someone would post such an erroneous thing as she did.

GreatHornedOwl

@achetocuddle - I hope that I phrased it in such a way that next time, she will hesitate to give any kind of advice when she doesn't know anything about the subject.

achetocuddle

@GreatHornedOwl I think you did.

Copy and paste said things and send directly to HR so they can carry out investigations. Spice it up! Title “Workforce Harassment.”

🎵 I'm not just preachin', I'm takin' my own advice.

SSRequiescence

Quit! You might get stuck in the routine and think “it’s not that bad… it is that bad! Find somewhere you are valued and appreciated for your unique skill set

netrunner

For those reporting comments in this thread saying certain responses contain inaccurate legal advice, a quick Google search would give the following result:

State And Federal Laws On Bad References
There are no state or federal laws that prohibit an employer, a coworker, or anyone else from providing a poor reference for someone else. However, an employer may cross the line and face liability if he or she makes an untrue statement about an applicant's performance.

achetocuddle

@reurbo Is this for clarification of posts about legal advice or is this to let members know that flagging things such as this is unnecessary?

HumbleBaron

Me going to work every morning

Meyous

Wow! I stand corrected, but I thought I read on the Department of Labor’s website regarding negative remarks as references being illegal. I was not offering legal advice, it was a statement & I doubt I can be held liable if erroneous. You people are a hostile group who seem to be so easily offended by what I said. Take a fucking pill!