How do the find the will to keep cuddling after bad experiences

I had my first bad experience today. A guy booked me for a session one hour away at a park. When I got there, he kept texting me that he was running late. Every few minutes he would text me that he was almost there. Like an idiot, I waited for an hour

Finally, he calls me and tells me that he's been watching me the whole time. He said that I was beautiful and that he would be willing to pay more if I cuddled in the nude or allowed him to perform sexual acts on me.

I feel so violated. I'm not sure if I should do this anymore

achetocuddle

That is awful. My few cuddles have been good, but I've gotten so many bad PMs that I have lost interest in cuddling anyone new.

zerocantaloupe

1. If you didn't record the call, send him a message saying you forgot the specifics of what he said on the phone and can he please repeat it again?
2. Report him on the site.
3. Report him to the police for solicitation of prostitution.

Minestrone101

Yuck. Sorry that happened.

xandriarain

@Warmhugs23 I am so sorry that happened to you. I also had some rough experiences in my early days of cuddling. Predators like the guy you encountered will prey on newer cuddle therapists who are green and easy to manipulate and take advantage of. Cuddle Sanctuary offers a free safety course. I require all new clients to do a consultation call and pay a 50% deposit, and I have my code of conduct on my profile. During the consultation call, I confirm with the client that they read the code of conduct and feel comfortable with those terms. If they haven't read it, I read them the code of conduct on the call. Doing all of this weeds out predators, time wasters, and people who are looking for a sex worker. Feel free to message me if you would like any advice. As @zerocantaloupe said, you should report him for the safety of the community.

waynewv

Don’t give up !!!!!! I have been stood up 3 times but the great experiences have helped me put those in my past.
There will a bad apple now and then, but there is a lot of great people on here.
I have met several out for coffee or ice cream before a cuddle so we could meet and talk over boundaries-etc.
I had one that would only meet in a hotel, so after I got the room and texted the room number, I got a reply back saying, I can’t make it. That will never happen again.
As many has said here, go by your gut feelings, if it does not feel right, back away.
Best of luck to you and take care

Ugh @Warmhugs23 im so sorry you experienced this Omggg how weird smh

achetocuddle

As you can see, OP, in the short time since you started this thread most people feel that the good outweighs the bad. I do too, tho primarily for chatting. If you read older similar threads you will also find most people feel the good outweighs the bad. At the same time, we each have to decide how much is too much. Maybe PM several knowledgeable forum members and/or read the forum so you can make the best informed decision. Best wishes on all your endeavors.

SuperManCuddles

@Warmhugs23 I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing. I had bad experiences too but the many good ones make it well worth it! I hope that you stay with this wonderful community and meet more positive vibe people in time!

This is such an amazing community. Thank you for your advice I will report him to the authorities and make the changes to my profile.

MCcuddles2

Oh my God, that sounds creepy and horrifying.

@Warmhugs23 The fact that that you hung around for an hour trying to accommodate your client says a ton of goodness about you.
Sorry that happened to you and hope you stick around for the good times you deserve it.

Minestrone101

Wishing you the best!

biancalovecraft

Yep that sucks.
You shouldn't have to find the will though, that sucks worse. Take a break and talk to some other pros. This is one of the many reasons we get a deposit for introductory sessions, but people here love to squabble about that even when it's not their appointment. It's ultimately up to your discretion, but I promise it eliminates the worst predators. Keep in mind that although this is a wonderful little corner of the internet, it's still the internet and every manner of troll, scammer, and stranger danger abound here.
I personally recommend not making cuddling your primary income, and getting good and comfortable with saying no. Cuddling is wonderful when it goes right. It's extremely uncomfortable if anything is a little off. I think being in a position to HAVE to cuddle would be downright awful, so don't make yourself if you aren't feeling it, take some time to sharpen up your Spidey sense, and focus on making sure you are only having, and giving, the best experience possible.

JillianCuddles

@Warmhugs23
One thing to think of when doing an outcall like that… get a safety buddy… sometimes it’s hard to find people that have the time to go with you, but if you can… do it!
I have someone that goes to all of my outcalls with new clients (and some old) with me. I generally schedule my sessions around his availability, for this reason.
Everyone encounters a creep, pro or not.. and it sucks, but having different rules, for yourself and others, usually eliminates more trouble than not.
If I’m meeting someone like that though… I tend to not leave my vehicle until I see them where we are supposed to be.
Video calls beforehand like @xandriarain mentioned…go a really long way too!
The more you ask, the better off you are! If they don’t want to answer all of your questions…they don’t care about your boundaries.

WriterGF

Unfortunately, you have to deal with the fact that there is a potential for danger in this endeavor. You can do your due diligence, but there are people out there who are very good at pretending to be okay when they're not.

Adonis444

I haven’t had any bad experiences, but looking to create great ones 🌤🤍

SnugglewithSam

I am so, so sorry you have such a bad experience like this. I'm grateful that it didn't go down with physical violation, but this is arguably just as bad if not worse.

You asked how to find the will to keep going, not if you should. So I'm going to answer that question.

When I had my first bad experience nearly seven years ago (not on this site, somewhere else), it hit me that many other young women are dealing with these scenarios as well. I felt I had the strength, wherewithal, and privilege (which unfortunately is often a factor) to develop my boundaries better.

I was also fortunate to have seen a few great clients that I saw very tangible changes from seeing me. One was overworked as a single dad with six (6!) jobs and two daughters, one was diagnosed on the spectrum later in life, one was dealing with heartbreak, one lost their mother... and they all thanked me for what I was doing. I had to decide whether it was worth it to keep going for them and many others that might be dealing with a number of things I might not have even heard could happen to a person (I've heard some wild, horrendous stories about the grief and stress people go through over the years!). Was I willing to do the work to sort through and protect my body autonomy in compassionate yet firm ways for the sake of those that need to feel physically close to someone like me?

I personally had (and still have) decided that the answer was yes. And to be clear, it's 100% okay if the answer for you is no. That doesn't make you a bad person. That makes you aware of what you're willing and not willing to do (or in this case, be subjected to). No one can nor should blame you for that.