Little to no attention

smoothvibes80

A woman pays a man to come cuddle with her. He comes over and all he cares to do is play games on his phone while sitting next to the woman with limited conversation. How long should the woman wait to tell him to get the hell out and never come back? Asking for a friend.

Mike403

I don't trust anyone who thinks phone games are fun.

zerocantaloupe

@smoothvibes80 The woman should tell him to put the phone away and insist on getting what she paid for. If he refuses or brings the phone back out, buh-bye.

Why would a woman pay a man to cuddle? 🤔🤭

HumbleBaron

Cod mobile and apex legends is fun , plus its available on phones

Mike403

@HumbleBaron - Get a dedicated gaming device and play some real games. I hear that the Steam Deck is awesome for portable gaming.

@Moxytocin she must of thought he was attractive I’m not paying no man to cuddle

Bear

She’s not getting what she paid for. Red flag.

She could be paying if she is extremely shy. It’s a easier route.

zerocantaloupe

@Moxytocin What does that sexism have to do with the question?

(edit: removed the "at" for SoftTouchAngel since technically that's a personal preference)

TheFunCartel

@zerocantaloupe I agree. I think the sexism comes in when someone posits the question “Why would a woman pay to cuddle a man?” Maybe she intended the question to be sarcastic, but without further context the question comes across as sexist. It’s just as bad as all the guys whining about female pros.

The complete quote is corrected.

"Why would a woman pay to cuddle a man" is a vastly different question than "why would a woman cuddle a man". If you think it makes sense for a woman to pay to cuddle a man, male pros should be doing a lot better than they are.

HumbleBaron

I think both genders have needs in cuddling so I don't see why it would be strange for a woman to pay a pro male for cuddling service.

bekah_cuddles

@smoothvibes80 The woman shouldn't wait at all to express her needs. If she clearly says, "I'd prefer you to be in the present with me and not on your phone," and the "pro" ignores or disregards her wishes, she should tell him to leave, ask for a refund, and report him.

slowblink

Here we go lol. Moxytocin was making an apt generalization because, as is obvious to anyone paying attention, male pros are significantly less successful than female pros which shows women simply do not pay men to cuddle. That isn't to say that women don't do that, but, they generally don't. There is an obvious tendency for some on the forums to assume that since the minority of a group or the minority behavior of a group isn't acknowledged, that they are being discriminated against. It doesn't matter who you are, we all generalize. Why? Because it's efficient. If correct, generalizations lead to conclusions and actions that benefit the majority. This is yet another example of the minority being prioritized over the majority despite the accuracy of the statement reflecting the majority. Let's be honest, this tendency is about posturing virtue and not about critical thought.

pmvines

If someone is being paid to cuddle with you and they arent then like with any other service industry job, they have the right to end it and request a refund or discount. Doesn't mean they will get one but doesnt hurt to ask .

TheFunCartel

I corrected the quote but it is still a problematic question. I think there are some make pros taking umbrage with the question just like female pros take exception to men grumbling about female pros charging. Both are pretty sexist in their own right.

slowblink

@FunCartel- There is an exception to every generalization and If we were to be as PC as possible, we would spend more time acknowledging those exceptions than actually carrying the conversation forward. I was a male receptionist with all female co-workers at one point in my life. Do you think I got offended when I called employees, and they answered "Yes, mam?". Nah. Because, generally, a woman would be calling them. I didn't(and still don't) think that my 'right' to be represented was more important than their 'right' to generalize.

TheFunCartel

@slowblink I couldn’t disagree more. In the past on this site the male cuddlers were encouraged by females on this site that there was a market for them with females. So we get an example of a male being paid and instantly a woman questions why a woman would pay a male. If a male so much as asks why men should be paying women for cuddling, the claws come out—and rightfully so—because no one is making you pay them. That questioning of someone paying and charging should go the other way as well. Why does it even matter what people charge or pay for? And to question why a woman would pay a man is a sexist question no matter who asks it. That is not a generalization. Your example is anecdotal and has no resemblance to what I was addressing. It would if someone was asking why someone would pay you for doing a job women mainly do.

tinc

@HumbleBaron I agree that it’s nobody’s business why a woman might want to pay a man for cuddling services. Simple “none of my business” moment IMO

PeopleLikeUs

@FunCartel Plus, CC is gaslighting capital of the world. If you ask a question about Covid and cuddling, a fight breaks out over vaccinations. In this case, if you mention a woman paid a man, an attempt to hijack the thread with "should women pay men" arrives via a woman whose head blows off over the idea. @Moxytocin. Go back to reading John Gray, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, or The Rules, and leave us out of your sexist bullshit. A woman paid a man. Get over it.

slowblink

So you're saying that Moxy is discriminating against Men simply by wondering why a Woman would pay a Man for an activity that Women unanimously don't pay for? Moxy never said a Woman shouldn't pay for it...nor that a Man shouldn't be paid for it. There was zero moral implication to the question and your statement is predicated on an assumption of one.

You could've very well assumed that Moxy was discriminating against women as well....that she failed to consider that a minority of women might want or need to pay for it. But you left that out for some reason. Why didn't you acknowledge both minorities for your explanation?

TheFunCartel

@slowblink Were you a pretzel in your past life? Because you are twisting things based on nothing logical. Making a sexist statement is not the same thing as discriminating against someone. Two separate concepts.

I am against normalizing sexism, racism etc. Just because someone makes a sexist or racist statement does not imply they are discriminating. It could simply mean they didn’t think through how this would look or hurt others.

TNNative

The question is "How long should the woman wait to tell him to get the hell out and never come back?"

My answer is: it depends on the woman.

IMO it is up to said woman to make this decision for herself and honor herself by speaking up and communicating to the paid person. So many variables could be at play here impacting how and why things transpired the way they did. It is up to the woman to evaluate the situation and make a decision for herself.

TheFunCartel

@TNNative I agree. There are other variables as well, such as the demeanor of the male—is he larger? Threatening? Unstable?

But I would also wonder if she said anything to him like are you going to embrace me in the next five minutes?

So many questions that need answering to make an accurate assessment.

TNNative

@FunCartel Agreed ... and Who are we to judge what she "should" do? She can do what ever she likes. If she was angry or had regrets after the fact, she could (if she wishes) use those feelings to evaluate her own behavior (the only thing we can control because we can't really control others) and make changes so her next experience is different. She could also consider writing karma to reflect her experience.

** notice the use of "could" and not "should" as could allows for personal choice.

slowblink

@FunCartel Yes, but the whole reason anyone cares about sexism is because it is a prerequisite for discrimination. No one would give a damn about bullets if guns didn't exist but they do so certain rounds are illegal. Anyway, we aren't actually debating whether anyone was being discriminated against. We are debating whether the statement was actually sexist. Please back track.

slowblink

Specifically, I want to know why you didn't mention Moxy's alledgedly sexist statement being applied to women as well? Were the women who want or need to pay for cuddling not infringed upon by said statement?

pmvines

I personally dont feel like @Moxytocin was being sexist by her statement alone. Contextually speaking, both men and women alike have spoken about the lack of demand for male pro cuddlers . I think posing the question the way it was presented wasn't meant to start a debate about sexism, and I'm a flaming liberal social justice warrior , or so I've been told . I def see a need to speak out when I do see an ism taking place, I just personally dont see that here , not in how it was said nor intent. A hate crime has not.been committed folks (plus I know her personally, and know where her heart and head is. Jordan Peterson or Ben Shapiro @PeopleLikeUs ? Really ? That was a pretty lofty judgmental accusation and rather pissy on your part if I do say so )

Carry on

slowblink

@PeopleLikeUs I don't recall Moxy ever saying "should women pay men". The word "should" is important because it implies a moral connotation. Why did you state that she said or implied something she hadn't? Also, why are you assuming her political position when no previous political context existed? Seems to be alot of assumptions going around, no?

tinc

Does it really surprise anyone that issues like this arise in an industry like this? I don’t think there’s one person that could argue this was appropriate of the cuddler, but are we really surprised?

Just don’t do business with people that behave this way. Cut the tie, report if you have to, but it’s a simple GTFO situation. Sometimes a price is paid for learning hard lessons.

Threats are a different story but it sounds like this cuddler just maybe didn’t understand his duties as a paid cuddler? Too much context is unavailable to assess it any further than that.

tinc

Gender comments are obtuse and extraneous at this point in our societal evolution so maybe the focus gets to be on educating cuddlers, or simply eliminating the ones that are giving cuddling as a profession, a bad name.