I have had three different men cancel on me at the last minute because they finally realize that I won't do anything sexual, even though I have it on my profile. Is this a normal thing? Are other people taking it farther than cuddling?
@smileymouse Yep, very typical. Consider them doing you a service. If you're finding that people are wasting your time , report them. You're likely not the only one they are booking and cancelling with last minute. The mods are very good at warning and/or removing time wasters here.
Stay assertive. Don't back down or lax your rules. It's not necessary to be successful here. ❤️
Yea, if you report it, at least the mods can see if this is a reoccurring thing. Like, if they’re scoping through all the pros and trying to find ones that do sexy time, they can see that pattern and get rid of them
Just saying "sessions are platonic" or "read the client contract" is not enough, unfortunately. I had to put a code of conduct in my profile that spells out the expectations and what is not allowed in a session. I also require all new clients do a consultation call with me where I ask about 11 questions to get a better idea of the client's needs and why they sought out cuddle therapy in the first place. Unfortunately, clients do not always ready profiles, and even when they do, they do not always take them seriously because many sex workers use this platform and pretend like they are legitimate cuddle therapists, so they don't get caught.
One time I had a session where a client asked in the consult if we could cuddle close. I replied, "cuddling is close." On the day of the session, they asked me if they could grind on me. I was confused because they had agreed to my code of conduct which specifically says "no grinding or dry humping." The client said they had a friend who cuddled with a professional and that they were allowed to dry hump and that I was saying that stuff in the call in case he was a cop. He thought I was a very discreet sex worker despite how I spelled out my boundaries clearly to him before the sessions.
I think of filtering out clients similar to water filtration; the more advanced and the more layers, the more toxins you filter out. Simply stating "all sessions are platonic" is a Brita filter; my screening process is reverse osmosis.
Xandriarain, Would you mind sharing your 11 questions with me? I greatly appreciate your detailed response!
Thank you everyone for their responses!
Here is my consultation call outline 1. Check-in (how are you feeling?) maybe do a breath if they seem stressed 2. Go over the structure/ purpose of the call: ( opportunity to ask questions, give them clarity and give me clarity on their needs) 3. Do you have any preemptive questions? 4. How did you find cuddle therapy, and what resonated? 5. Do you have goals or anything you would like to work on? 6. Do you have any trauma or intense experiences around touch that is important for me to know about? 7. Picture in your mind what your ideal session looks like?/ and or what are your favorite cuddle positions? 8. What is your history with touch, and what does touch look like in your world today? Do you have any access? 9. Have you reviewed the code of conduct? (if they have reviewed it, ask them how they feel about it and if they are on board with it.) (If they seem uncomfortable ask them if they truly want a platonic experience or if they are settling for one) (If they haven't read it review it with them on the call) * If, at any point during the call, the client says something you feel may indicate they are looking for a non-platonic experience. Ask, "Do you truly want a platonic experience, or are you settling for one?"
At the end of the call, if the client hasn't asked already, answer the boner question (if they are male presenting): A lot of people worry about getting aroused or getting an erection in the session. There is no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed; we simply ignore it and adjust accordingly, so I don't feel it. I understand that that your body may do a thing even if you have the pure intentions and are not mentally aroused.
Thank you!
"Do you truly want a platonic experience, or are you settling for one?"
Brilliant!! 😁