Yeah, sounds sweet and all but it's still just some thing that someone wrote . Like a spoonful of sugar, an apple a day , , and stitch in time and what not. Even if that many hugs were a daily option, I dont think I'd want them lol sometimes I just want to chill inside my turtle shell
@pmvines yup. That is something that someone just wrote. And that person was Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist. So it’s not like it’s a meaningless platitude or a quote from some reddit rando.
Related to this concept is something I've expressed to everyone I've worked with over the last 10 years or so. When someone, of any age, looks to me to tell them they've done a good job, I'll say something like, "Look at you go! Did you give yourself a pat on the back?" Often I get a confused look so I follow more sincerely with, "For real... Did you tell yourself good job? Because you could! Here, like this..." and I model by putting my arm across my chest, my hand landing on the back of my shoulder, and I wait looking expectantly until tgey are too. Then while patting I say, "Good job self! Way to go!"
Often there is a chuckle of sorts. And then I let them know, I believe it's really important to tell yourself you've done well. Because unlike eveyone else in your life, you're the only one, who will always be with you, and most of us like to be told, 'Well done!' sometimes, so why not do it yourself?
I think it's the same with the hug quota. Too me it's seems beyond unrealistic to think the majority of our population are getting that many hugs daily. But if we each took the time daily to practice even the smallest acts of self-care and self-validation (such as giving ourselves a hug, or a pat on the back), it may start to shift our needle towards maintenance, and then on to growth.
And it may feel awkward at first, and might even make you chuckle, but I really do beleive there's a lot of value in the practice of reaching within. Especially so when going without.
@Syins and it still isn't something I really agree with. Apart from the occasional cuddle hang out I'm not really getting a ton of hugs in my daily life, and dont really feel like I miss it or that I'm somehow missing out on something. Affection etc means different things to different people. Just because a therapist wrote something doesnt mean I need to change how I do things , or question how I feel about life. I I have practiced group as well as one on one therapy in my profession, but that doesnt make my advice or words any more important than yours or make me more wise than you now , does it ?
I get that you and I prob have different touch needs , and that's ok. Whatever yours are , I hope you get them met .