How do you feel about having poly folks as cuddle partners?

@Sunflowerfield brought up in another thread that she likes polyamorous guys as platonic cuddle buddies.  That leads me to ask the question of everyone else - How do you feel about having poly folks as cuddle partners? 

My personal opinion is that a poly person usually has quite a bit of practice at being open and honest, since a poly relationship just doesn't work very well without those two qualities, and therefore are more trustworthy. 

One of @Sunflowerfield's points was that she thinks that a poly guy is more likely to be getting their sexual/romantic needs met elsewhere, and less likely to try to get that from her.  There are plenty of poly guys that are not necessarily in a relationship of any kind, but are looking for one or more partners.  That doesn't necessarily mean that they wouldn't be good cuddle buddies, You have to take each case on its own merit. 

In my own case I am extremely open and honest, even to the point of admitting up front that all three of my current relationships are platonic.  Yes, I am looking for a sexual partner, but that is not what I am looking for here.  Here, I just want a platonic cuddle partner who is fairly close to me.

Comments

  • @I_am_Polylover I think that both points are fair here.  Personally if the intention is that of cuddling I don't see any issues of the sexually preference of someone.  I do think that poly individuals tend to be more open and honest and i find it appealing.  
  • i actively avoid married men. and probably would avoid poly men for that reason. i want a buddy who will prioritise me, and i will him.


  • @Irene  it sounds like you want a non sexual boyfriend more than a cuddle buddy.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Well I can understand where Irene is coming from. One of my cuddle buddy relationships has evolved into a queerplatonic partnership, as we both like to prioritise one another and spend a lot of our spare time together. It's basically a very committed friendship, at the level that most people would reserve for dating/romantic relationships. You can have an intimate relationship that is not romantic or sexual, but I understand that's hard for a lot of people to manage.

    I'm not sure how I'd feel about cuddling a guy who was poly but single, however it would mean that I am less likely to be ditched as soon as he finds a girlfriend - which is a plus, in my opinion. One of my cuddle buddies is actively dating and I appreciate knowing he isn't expecting me to fulfill his sexual and romantic needs.
  • thankyou @Sunflowerfield, that sounds good what you have. i'd love to go for that with a woman also but because i'm straight i am not quite comfortable with physical intimacy with a woman. sounds sad but i can't help it and i am meaning cuddles here by intimacy,.on a talking level i am more comfortable with women for some reason.

    i'd just like cuddles and intimacy and not have to wait for them. @OrionEridanus. if i had a boyfriend i would expect sex to be a part of that. hope it's ok to say that on these forums.
  • I frankly would be fine with a polyamorous person as a cuddle buddy. Unless one is looking for a monoplatonic (is that a word?) committed cuddle partner... Is it safe to say that we are all polycuddlers?? I mean to me, buddy has a different connotation than partner does.
  • I'm not sure how being polyamorous would affect cuddling in the slightest?  Since cuddling is a purely platonic activity, does it even matter if someone is polyamorous?   I mean don't most of us cuddle with different cuddle partners? no one just sticks to one do they?  :) 




  • [Deleted User]nahp (deleted user)
    edited June 2017
    I agree with Atreidos. If I found one cuddle buddy i was intetested in it might feel more like a real relationship. Nothing wrong with that of course. But from my experiences it seems more like polyamoury than anything if your going to compare it.
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