If it weren't for pros....

JBearz

This site would be right on par with every other "strangers-meet-strangers" app.

A typical experience with an enthusiast (my experience):

Send message
Send photo (to prove that I'm not a bear)
Exchange about 2-3 messages trying to get to know eachother
No more messages after that
Repeat

I mean, I expect it to be challenging as a straight male looking for cuddles, but somehow I still expected there to be less....spookiness if you catch my drift 👻. I try my best not to come off as creepy, but I am a male and we're creepy by default I guess.

I've seen some guys mention that they've found cuddlers who cuddle them for free and I am truly envious.

Btw I like this site, not complaining. Just venting. These forums are a bright spot

BashfulLoner

I mean it’s different now, but i don’t think it’s because of the pros. I think it’s niche but i think a fee is a fee. It costs to be on other stranger meet sites as well. I just think it’s the collection of people.

TxTom

Don't worry @JBearz After she turns pro you'll receive another message from her.

Rezz

There's some great tips to be found here on how to meet non-pros to cuddle. You just have to be willing to put in the work by reading the forums, be prepared to make changes in your approach and be patient!

I wish everyone here could find their touch needs meet by pros and enthusiasts alike. However men dominate the site and there's only so many active female enthusiasts in any given area.

Being active in the forums doesn't hurt either.

Yes, less than desirable men here have definitely ruined the experience for everyone that are here with the right intentions but that doesn't mean you can't find an enthusiast to cuddle with. You just have to put forth more effort than you initially expected.

Hope you find what you're seeking ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ

CuddleWho

I try my best not to come off as creepy, but I am a male and we're creepy by default I guess.

I think it likely doesn't have anything to do with creepiness.

CharlieBear

I don’t feel like it’s a fault of the site or female enthusiasts. There’s just too many dudes. It‘s like that beach scene in Euro Trip 😂

JBearz

@Tom2019 lmao 🤣

JBearz

@Rezz true words, and thank you!! I think the only cuddlers from my area that are active in the forums are guys though 😂

JBearz

@CuddleWho then what is itt?!

CuddleWho

@JBearz She just didn't want to continue talking to you, possibly coupled with the fact that she has many other options? Seems like a simple and obvious explanation.

It varies of course, but the average man has a not insignificant level of investment in each woman he's communicating with, even if they just started talking. After all, it may have taken him a decent amount of time and effort to make that connection. The average woman has an extraordinarily low level of investment in most men she's communicating with. After all, they're easily replaceable. There's probably at least 10 other men just like you in her inbox.

JBearz

@CuddleWho I'm not talking about just me, I'm asking why in general.

If people don't want to continue to conversation, that's perfectly fine. It's just the timing and the way that they stop responding that I find odd. Like they show a genuine interest in getting to know you, you ask one question and you never hear from them again. Sorry, that's weird to me. But given the average attention span of humans these days, I'm not surprised

CuddleWho

Well, it's pretty weird to me too. It's generally not how I communicate with people.

But I still think my answer applies. Women ghost like 30 men a day. *

They're not invested in these men, they have tons of options, and you said something she wasn't 100% thrilled with, or maybe she just got bored with you. Why would she bother to explain to you that she's no longer interested, let alone why? In her mind, this is how meeting new people goes, especially on the Internet. She's always getting new messages from people, sometimes more than she wants to even deal with. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but it rarely matters because hey there's a bunch of other messages she hasn't even looked at yet.

The fact that it took you weeks to find someone who would even talk to you, that you have been looking forward specifically to her message each day, and that you'll be a little hurt if she stops replying... that's not even on her radar.

. * Maybe a slight exaggeration.

mellow

@JBearz You get to exchange 2 to 3 messages with a non pro? now you're just bragging 😁, most men here don't even get a response most of the time so you’re ahead of the game my friend.

ShaneSchrute

@JBearz have you connected with anyone here? Friends IRL? There’s a difference between this and dating sites obviously but have you ever connected with someone on a dating site?

But anyway I’m assuming you’ve made some kind of connection with another person. There’s a reason for that. And I think it’s okay to ask them why. I do that and it gives me insight into what I’m doing right, what I might need to do more of and how I come across to others. Self-awareness can be difficult. I’m very introspective but I still don’t realize how I come across to others. I’m often surprised why my partners and friends want to spend time with me.

So. my advice is: focus on the one thing you can control which is you.

JBearz

@CuddleWho Rest assured, I am not the least bit hurt by it, I just wanted to call attention to it. But I suppose you gave an answer that any woman these days would give, and it's a realistic answer.

@Mellow Just a tiny bit extra luck, but it didn't go very far 😂

Syins: If by connected, do you mean meet? If so, no I have only ever met two pros on this site (I only joined about 2 weeks ago). I have connected on dating sites in the past. But again, I'm not really hung up about it, I don't really care if I never meet another enthusiast because the pros are always there. I just found it interesting how the behavior doesn't change even though this is supposed to be a platonic site

sunnysideup

@CuddleWho @JBearz

While men do need to be cognizant that their behaviors are not creepy around women, I also don’t think this is the main issue for why most enthusiast men don’t get responses.

The main issue is why should a free cuddler in high demand cuddle you when there are so many options available.

You also have to approach almost like you’re dating except fully platonic. Get to know them, be enthusiastic about them etc

SuperManCuddles

@JBearz You are actually doing very good for a newcomer to this site. Activity is very important. Meaning messaging many prospects on a regular basis. Also if you travel or go on vacations, may want to message prospects in other areas ahead of time too (I use this and it works well). Just like sales, contacting many people and even if only a few respond you have made big profits or in this case fun cuddles. Despite my success on this site, some people still don’t respond to my messages but don’t care as I have meet many friends, hangout and cuddles buddies on this site (which makes it more than worth it).The law of large numbers in effect. I wish you well.

Hamtaro1

@SuperManCuddles hit the nail on the head.

I will admit if you feel you are creepy it help to beg the question to yourself and find out when you think is creepy. Assess if it's truly creepy or you are judging your then you can take action accordingly.

JBearz

Excellent points, guys

MapleKay

Interesting, the perspectives of both the cuddled and cuddler ( this is not a real word). May I chime in?

I am happy when I see people taking the Initiative to reach out and message someone who they think they could cuddle with, where I become disheartened is when I have messaged back and forth working to set up a schedule and the other person just says, " yo, you free?" " so you won't get naked and I can't touch you sexually?" Why do I need to clarify this is a no every message exchange?

If that is what you're looking for I am not it, however if you would like help to get someone else in a place that is not aimed at platonic I would give you advice from the perspective of a woman. @JBearz riddle me that?

WriterGF

In this respect, it's no different from a dating site. You have way more enthusiast men than women on here, and the women get buried in messages to the point where it can get overwhelming.

JBearz

@MapleKay I'm not sure I understand your question? I don't reach out to cuddlers for anything other than platonic cuddling so those questions never come up.

JBearz

@WriterGF Very true as well. That's the one thing all of these kind of sites/apps have in common, women will almost always have full inboxes filled with guys who think they're just as special as you 😅

cogsandgears

I'll also chime in to add that it's not enough to simply not be creepy. If the bulk of your messages are "how was your day" or "what brought you here" or even "here is 4 paragraphs about myself that were clearly copy-pasted and batch sent like a resume," sorry but that's not a conversation worth my effort. Your messages can be short as long as they're interesting, imho

JBearz

@cogsandgears I'm aware that no one likes messages that are generic and boring. My messages are never like that. I ask questions revolving around people's interests and try to understand what they're really into.

My conclusion is that women get courted every single day and they have plenty to choose from. They can pick and choose who they thought was the funniest, most handsome, had the best job, etc. So we basically have to be their idea of a perfect guy to even get a response. This isn't the case for all women of course, but for most women who frequent meeting sites, I truly think that's all it comes down to. "Say the perfect line or else i'm moving onto the next guy."

WriterGF

Also keep in mind that some enthusiasts (male and female) are just dipping their toes in the water. They want to see what the site is like and what response they will get, but would probably never actually cuddle with a stranger.

JBearz

@WriterGF Yup, I'm beginning to see that now

cogsandgears

@JBearz I'm sorry that's been your experience. I noticed you framed your impression as women looking for "who is the best," and in particular according to what society tells men is most important to women. I think that there definitely are women who buy into that, but I can also tell you that it's not as simple as "he's not the richest/tallest/funniest etc therefore I will not respond." Sometimes it's as others have said, they're just browsing the site, or getting distracted and the message gets buried in the inbox.

I know for me, some times I'll be open to further discussion with someone but forget I didn't actually reply; I've noticed a quirk on CC that your outgoing messages don't show up inline in the outbox. I've missed replying that way before. Also, I can't judge how engaging your messages/replies are without seeing them, but a lot of men ask me about my interests and it can get exhausting repeating the same details over and over (especially when women too get ghosted or dropped; I no longer enjoy talking about my hobbies to men who will likely just disappear anyway).

My best suggestion is to try asking questions that help reveal part of someone's personality that may not be the most common or go-to question. For example, instead of "what music do you like" try "what albums would you bring to a deserted island and why?" Instead of "what movies have you seen lately" ask "who would you cast in a remake/adaptation of X?"

If they don't respond to something like THAT you can safely write that person off lol

JBearz

@cogsandgears Funny thing, I literally tried that example you gave (not with albums, but same concept) and it fell flat 🤣 it's a solid convo starter though.

I appreciate your perspective on this as well, that's definitely a reasonable way to look at it. Either way, I'm ok with not connecting with enthusiasts, maybe the right one will come along and maybe they won't

I would agree that in an environment like this, it really is a numbers game combined with personally standing out as much as possible on your profile. My experience will not be typical because I live in a huge liberal city but I made a point to make a profile that is not going to be like others. This comes from living a life that is a bit atypical.

As such, I actually have enthusiasts of all genders reaching out to me somewhat consistently.

I'm also HIGHLY selective regarding who I reach out to. I'm in no rush whatsoever to meet folks and have no interest in convincing people to want to connect with me; experience has shown that most things less than a highly compatible connection are extremely unsatisfying. So I only send messages to folks who I can tell from their pics and their bio that I'll connect with.

All these skills as more I picked up by successfully using dating apps. The context is different, but I've found meeting people off the Internet to require the same set of skills and mindsets no matter how it's done.

MapleKay

@JBearz Thank you for replying, I appreciate that. Well I am glad that my colloquial "everyone" is in fact not everyone. Just incase anyone was curious I reiterated that I am here for platonic interactions and the person decided to look elsewhere.