Hey, Check your email!

UncleDave

There are lots of cuddlers out there, near my home area and in places to which I travel, but I'm exhausted by the number of "pros" who haven't logged on in months. They seem to outnumber the active ones! Figuring that I can get ahold of them through an introductory message or a formal cuddle request, I try that, but no responses. Jeez, if you're inactive, does that mean you stop reading emails? Any response would be welcome. Acceptable examples include everything from, "I don't like your profile, and you don't interest me," to, "Sorry, I'm taking some time off, during your requested period" But no response whatsoever? I get not logging in daily, but not reading emails confuses the heck outta me. Does this happen to anyone else?

cde123

In your filters, you can limit searches by "last online." I have it set to within the last week. Pros get so many messages there's no way yours alone will bring them back to the site.

UncleDave

@cde123 Thanks. I believe I have it set for a month or 3 month period. Good point about receiving lots of messages. That's something I hadn't considered. I guess I should narrow my 'last online' period. Thats going to limit opportunities significantly, but it may ease my frustration.

SoftHairForDays

I'm sorry you're having this issue, @UncleDave. Unfortunately, we don't know why someone hasn't logged in for a while (busy with other areas of their life, they have just decided to take a break for various reasons, maybe they don't plan to come back at all, etc). I hope things get better soon, and that's a good suggestion from @cde123 for the one week time period. 😊

sunnysideup

@UncleDave

I would set it to last online within a week or less of you are looking for a quick response.

CuddleDuncan

In the modern world, no reply is itself a reply. It means, "I'm too busy and important to talk to you, worthless supplicant. Go away. PS - I reserve the right to change my mind if it turn out later that you have something I want."

At least, that's what it means when I do it.

UncleDave

@Green_Eyes , yeah, but what about someone who logged in only two days ago? Don't they receive emails when messages/requests are sent? How professional is that?

UncleDave

Thanks @CuddleDuncan ! That may be the most honest answer I get all day. So far, no one has said this has happened to them, which is just a little disconcerting. Maybe it's my advanced age...

TheFunCartel

So far, no one has said this has happened to them, which is just a little disconcerting.

Because no replies are not unique to any one site. Your question has been asked several times before to the point that it is a cliché on these forums. But to answer your question…EVERYONE deals with ghosting and no replies, both men and women. Except me of course. I piss them off to the point they feel compelled to reply. 😄

UncleDave

@FunCartel , sorry if I hadn't spied this topic before. The board management may feel free to remove my thread if it's just rehashing old stuff. Perhaps, however, management can also do something about lack of responses, such as putting folks on notice who repeatedly fail to respond or revoking pro status for unprofessional behavior. I am a very happy CC enthusiast and can't complain about a single cuddle I've experienced while on the site. It's the ones I miss out on that can sometimes be a little irritating.

CuddleDuncan

Just to confirm, yes it happens to everybody all the time.

Minestrone101

It's not agst site rules to not respond and there are 4x more men than women here - women should not have to tend to their inboxes full time.

Rezz

@UncleDave

Perhaps, however, management can also do something about lack of responses, such as putting folks on notice who repeatedly fail to respond or revoking pro status for unprofessional behavior.

Or you can manage your expectations.

We do not owe everyone here a response or session. I frequently don't respond to messages where it's blatantly clear they did not not read my profile. I ignore and often block them. I won't apologize for prioritizing my time and energy because someone couldn't be assed to read my profile.

I am a very happy CC enthusiast and can't complain about a single cuddle I've experienced while on the site.

That's great I love to hear it!

It's the ones I miss out on that can sometimes be a little irritating

You are not missing out on things that were never yours to begin with.

TheFunCartel

@UncleDave You don’t have to have it removed. I was just saying why you might not be getting a lot of responses to the topic. It is a viable question. But people not replying is not personal. There could be a million reasons.

CuddleWho

Why would you even search for pros who haven’t logged on recently? And if you messaged such a pro, why would you be surprised she didn’t reply? If someone hasn’t visited the site in a month.. clearly this person is not a very active user. Right? Isn’t this all blindingly obvious?

In general not receiving replies is just a normal part of trying to meet people online, especially for men, and the only real answer is “get used to it.”

That said, I do think pros who actively visit the site but rarely reply to anyone are kind of a legitimate problem for the site. If a man is new to the site, messages a few (nominally active) pros, and gets zero replies, that is a pretty bad look, and is not great for the people who want pro cuddling to be seen as a serious profession.

friendlyhugging

@cylee1180 a cuddle enthusiast i know left because she felt overwhelmed by how many messages she received. Is there a filter a user can set to chose a limit on how many messages they receive per day? I think a similar function only applies currently to new users but might be useful as an ongoing function.

RadiantHugs

It's common for pros on this site to not respond to messages. Many of them signed up because the opportunity was there - the site has a commission model for female pros which does not require any investment from them except when they book a session.

Those who are available will respond in a timely fashion. I frequently message multiple pros simultaneously and pick from the first few to respond for this very reason. I will message back everyone who messages me, but obviously only the first few to respond get a booking from me. The others get a polite message that I already booked another pro.

When booking pros I also like to prioritize my selection from the ones who are active on the forums. I'm serious about getting the most out of my sessions, which is why I spend time on the forums learning from experiences others share. I believe it is the same for pros, those invested enough into making a business out of this work tend to be on the forums learning from the community, aiming to get better at doing this work. I have found that it's rare (though it has happened to me) that a pro who is active on this forum won't respond with a yay or nay in a timely fashion to a legit request for a session.

Minestrone101

@friendlyhugs99 Wow. That's sounds overwhelming. I guess it ended up being more trouble than it's worth.

CuddleDuncan

@cylee1180 it is common for women enthusiasts, and indeed some new professionals, to leave very shortly after joining because they are overwhelmed by the number of messages. It must be emphasised that it's simply the number alone that is the difficulty. Inappropriate messages are another problem altogether.

@friendlyhugs99 the site does have a volume filter on messages of some kind, but I can't remember exactly how. In any case it is set high - it's intended to prevent bots, malicious spamming and that kind of thing.

UncleDave

@cylee1180

It's not agst site rules to not respond and there are 4x more men than women here

• Really? 4x more. I had no idea. Feeling really ignorant, right now..

women should not have to tend to their inboxes full time.

• Is once a week too much to ask?

@Rezz

Or you can manage your expectations.

• Clearly I'm going to have to do that.

We do not owe everyone here a response or session. I frequently don't respond to messages where it's blatantly clear they did not not read my profile. I ignore and often block them. I won't apologize for prioritizing my time and energy because someone couldn't be assed to read my profile.

• Thankfully, you'll never need to prioritize your time where I'm concerned. I've never attempted to contact a prospective cuddle partner without first reading their profile carefully to make an initial attempt to determine whether we'll be compatible. If you ever receive one from me, It'll be a friendly note to introduce myself, tell you what interested me in your profile, and to ask you to look at mine to see if we might consider getting together some time.

You are not missing out on things that were never yours to begin with.

• Well, that's certainly direct, but I would tell you that just because I'm the one paying doesn't mean that I'm the only one benefitting and enjoying the cuddle. It's NEVER all about me, so the missed opportunities aren't only mine but 'ours'. That's part of the sadness.

@CuddlesByDeep

I frequently message multiple pros simultaneously and pick from the first few to respond for this very reason. I will message back everyone who messages me, but obviously only the first few to respond get a booking from me. The others get a polite message that I already booked another pro.

• I've considered this but would feel bad telling someone that they didn't get back to me in time so I booked elsewhere. I guess that's a necessary evil, though. Jeez am I naive!

TxTom

@CuddleDuncan
"you worthless supplicant"

TxTom

@UncleDave Adjust your settings for "Today" or "Less than a week ago." Be sure your avatar realistically and handsomely represents the real you. Don't sound desperate. And perhaps offer some extra $$ for making a last-minute booking.

Just realize CC is just one of a myriad of social media sites that most folks and bots use. I don't think there is any requirement to login on a regular basis or to respond to emails. I've forgotten my CompuServe password, nor have I checked my MySpace in years. So just practice some patience.

Rezz

@UncleDave
It sounds like you're reaching out to pros who are experiencing burnout, taking a break, busy with other life demands or are just not interested.

Something to consider is that saying no thank you or I'm not interested often leads to vitriol responses. To save themselves the headache many choose the no response is a response route. I respond to every well written and genuine inquiry even if I'm not able to meet their request. I ignore everything else or I am assertive in my response to show them I'm not going to play their time wasting games.

Well, that's certainly direct, but I would tell you that just because I'm the one paying doesn't mean that I'm the only one benefitting and enjoying the cuddle. It's NEVER all about me, so the missed opportunities aren't only mine but 'ours'. That's part of the sadness.

I am very direct. 🤣
That comment stems from the fact so many men here have serious entitlement issues.

You're missing out by not cuddling me

No sir, I can assure you that I'm not.
I'm putting my safety and peace of mind first. Your touch needs will come second. Always.

Many pros do not cuddle to have their touch needs met. We do it because we truly enjoy our job and our clients needs are our priority. While I'm sure you're an epic cuddler, it's absolutely not a consideration when I'm screening potential clients.

I do wish you the best of luck! Sort pros by last online to increase your chances of a prompt response.

RadiantHugs

@UncleDave says - I've considered this but would feel bad telling someone that they didn't get back to me in time so I booked elsewhere. I guess that's a necessary evil, though. Jeez am I naive!

No, I don't go out of my way to say it's because they didn't get back to me. All I say is that I'm set for the moment but will happily reach out if I need cuddles in the future. No reason to feel bad, it's just that you had a set timeframe in which you needed to book a session, and you did that with what was available to you then. Nothing wrong with that.

Minestrone101

@UncleDave That might be reasonable if there are maybe 10 or 15 messages in an inbox. However, if there are 200 to 500 messages waiting, and they're not actively cuddling (or their quota is filled), then it might not be a good use of time.

sunnysideup

A female cuddler who hasn’t logged on in over a month may Very Eell have hundreds of unread messages.

pmvines

Adults who are here at will, messaging other adults who are here at will, and being annoyed/ angry that message recipient is not reciprocating, does come across as kind of entitled and childish. Just sayin....

CuddleWho

@pmvines I don’t entirely disagree with you, but if I tried to book a massage and none of the 4 parlors I contacted responded I’d be pretty goddamn annoyed… ditto if I tried to get an oil change and none of the mechanics replied. Ditto plumbers, etc etc etc, and every other profession I can think of. Would you just say “plumbers aren’t obligated to reply to your inquiries”?

There are fairly regular posts by pros lamenting the fact that people don’t take pro cuddling seriously. Well… as long as most pro cuddlers don’t take it seriously as a profession and a business, it’s pretty hopeless to expect non cuddlers to take it seriously.

To be clear, I’m mostly fine with the status quo. I just think some people want it both ways - they want to cast pro cuddlers as serious dedicated professionals when that best suits their point, but as just random women on a social site when that’s convenient.

cde123

I've been thinking that there should be a position called, basically, "cuddle secretary" - or "cuddle receptionist" and it would be a person who knows the pro's schedule and is empowered to screen clients and book time. Outside cuddling, the actual service providers in many cases aren't also managing bookings, like with plumbers, mechanics etc.

I know there are virtual secretary services and maybe the popular pros might consider hiring someone to do this. Or, perhaps some pros could network and do this for others. Or, probably, it's already happening - what do I know!

Rezz

@CuddleWho

if I tried to book a massage and none of the 4 parlors I contacted responded I’d be pretty goddamn annoyed… ditto if I tried to get an oil change and none of the mechanics replied. Ditto plumbers, etc etc etc, and every other profession I can think of. Would you just say “plumbers aren’t obligated to reply to your inquiries”?

You bring up great points. Really. However, those are brick and mortar business that have staffing and hours. This is a social networking site with optional paid services and service providers with variable lifestyles.

What works for Mary may not work for Susan. Mary may have 3 unread messages in her inbox. Susan may have 400+ because she works a full-time job with a kid. Mary may have her own personal website where she takes bookings because this is her full-time job , Susan only does this part time and doesn't see the need to be available 24/7. Different people will handle their business differently. That's ok.

The day this site isn't overrun with SW"s and their obvious John's is the day I will take this site more seriously. It will drastically change the way I view every inquiry to hit my inbox. I won't worry that a grown ass man will try to assault me or assume I offer oil massages and skin to skin clothing optional sessions because Mary did.

Also
Email notifications don't always work.
The messaging system here is lackluster.

UncleDave

I appreciate the dialogue.Thank you to all who answered constructively. Ive learned a great deal, especily about message quantities and workload. No thanks to the name callers and those who put words I didn't say in their replies. I never said I was angry or entitled, only confused. The thoughtful and thought-provoking replies have been extremely helpful, so the discussion has been beneficial if a bit snarky, here and there. Peace to all, and happy cuddling!