When Pros message you first....

JBearz

Recently, I had multiple pro cuddlers message me out of nowhere and it's really off-putting.

It would be one thing if they were genuinely interested in cuddling, but they were literally asking me to PAY THEM for a cuddle when I didn't even visit their page or make any indication that I wanted to cuddle. As if I would just pay any cuddler who offered. One of them wasn't even in my city and offered a virtual cuddle...just..no.

Maybe it works for some people and they actually get business that way, but to me it's extremely desperate and borderline predatory...just my two cents.

cuddles_ndream

This ^!

TxTom

@JBearz Think of it as a commercial. I get pelted everyday with product and service adverts. Although they're offering something of value, they're primarily doing it for the profit motive.

Don't let it bother you.

(If I'm not mistaken, I think CC has a rule against pros doing that, but it doesn't bother me, either way.)

teddybear888

The reality of the circumstances is this is a business. The website. The pros. It’s a bill payer. A moneymaker. A promoter. There is a LOT of good to be recognized. A lot of good that is happening. But the bottom line is this like any other entity is about the dollar bills. Thus, we can expect the same tactics of marketing as any other.

Be fair. Be kind. Be genuine. Be understanding & respectful. It bears saying that being about money in & of itself isn’t necessarily bad. It complicates but it isn’t necessarily bad. It’s not ideal to monetize human basic needs but then I still have to pay for water.

VaniRae31

Technically there is a rule against pros messaging first UNLESS they have indication a cuddler may be interested.

So when I see someone local has visited my page I reach out and ask them how they’re doing or if they had any questions about anything on my profile because like now, I run specials every once in a while and I never ask about cuddling right away.

Most of the time it’s just someone browsing around or someone interested in becoming a pro and had questions but was too nervous/embarrassed to reach out first or more commonly someone interested in cuddling but wasn’t sure I’d be interested because I was “too pretty” which sure, is a compliment but looks/attraction have nothing to do with cuddling.

Never would I reach out to someone who hasn’t checked out my page first though.

wrench

Ive had very few pros message me first but i think I may have looked at thier pages first

JBearz

@teddybear888 I respectfully disagree. In other industries, I don't have contractors texting/calling me asking if I need help with taxes or yard work or plumbling, etc.

Other (successful) businesses use advertising to promote themselves, but they aren't literally messaging you and calling you asking to pay them for a service that you may not even need.

For example, I'm a dog trainer and I would never walk up to a random dog owner in the park and say "hey did you know that you can pay me to train your dog?" It's way too direct.

I have no problem with a pro contacting me first. It’s no different than me initiating contact with a pro or non-pro.

JBearz

@VaniRae31 If someone visits your page and you're just asking if they have any questions, that's perfectly reasonable.

But these pros were going straight for the "I am available on this day, this day, this day, and my rates are blahblahblah", like if I really wanted to know that info I would ask

VaniRae31

@JBearz yeah that’s definitely a red flag and frowned upon. I would assume it’s a scam if that’s what they’re doing.

Rezz

If you haven't initiated contact and/or visited their page, just report them.
The mods will see if there's a pattern and take action.

PlushandPerfect

Yeah totally against a pro messaging you if you haven't even looked at their site. @Jbear

I usually send a hello, any questions statement like @VaniRae31

Some don't respond, some do saying they are or aren't interested, I've had some even happy I did because they were new to the site and nervous to respond.

TxTom

@JBearz My experience has usually been an out-of-town pro will initiate contact with me when they're planning to visit Austin.

Unlike your situation, with me they've never opened with "you can pay me...", but they will say something like, "hey, there! You don't look too weird. I'm coming to Austin on such-and-such a date and would love to cuddle with you! "

teddybear888

@JBearz I was making an effort at being diplomatic. I remind myself or try to remind myself that people are not one sided or two sided but a prism. I didn’t want it to be a man-splain moment for pros when I genuinely don’t know their side.

tacpmurg

Im all for it if they are in my area, I have such a hard time finding out what pros are active and have availability.

JohnR1972

I have had a 2 pros message me without me first having visited their profile. It was only 2 times in over a year that I have been on this site and it did not bother me at all.

In both cases it was someone who was not local but who was going to be in my area for a few days AND I had left karma for one of their friends so there was a distant connection of sorts. They were not pushy at all, just letting me know they were available and if I had been available myself I would have booked a session with one of them.

CSnMUS87

This doesn't happen to me too often (usually if I visit their profile first, but even then not that often). I usually enjoy a conversation, but of course I don't want to waste anyone's business time, so I do at some point ask if they ever plan to travel to my area. What gets me is when they don't and then start mentioning they do virtual cuddles to me, when I made a clear section on my profile stating that I'm not interested in virtual cuddles. No offense to anyone that does, I just would rather spend my money on something in person.

achetocuddle

@teddybear888 Well said.

WriterGF

@jbearz That's interesting. I have chimney cleaners and window replacement places cold-calling me every few months at least.

JBearz

@WriterGF I know some businesses do cold calling and I would never buy anything from those businesses. It's not something that's encouraged in marketing these days because most people don't have a positive response. It's usually a last resort form of advertising

Ironman294

If someone (pro or not) messages me and I’m not interested I won’t respond back. It’s not the end of the world and shouldn’t trigger someone. There’s much worse things in the world.

JBearz

@Ironman294 I don't think anyone is triggered or treating it like it's the end of the world, but thanks for your contribution

nurturingman

@teddybear888 I appreciate the considerate sentiments you espoused, such as being kind, patient, etc., and I agree that pros’ dues help pay for this site. I understand that some people turn to pro cuddling mostly because they need money, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing (though it’s a turn-off for me if their heart’s not in it). @Tom2019 is right that CC has a rule against pros doing cold messaging, but I disagree about thinking of it as advertising. Pros already get advertisement in the carousel at the top of every page of this site. Aside from their dues and ads — which help both pros and the appeal of this site to potential clients — unsolicited messages from pros do not benefit the site. I agree with pros such as @VaniRae31 who only message potential clients if they have some reason to believe the client might be interested — not just because they happen to live in a certain place but because they have shown interest by looking at their profile, for instance.

stormydaycuddle

@CSnMUS87 which reminds me...
Also, I don't think it comes across in the best light when this happens. So I wouldn't worry about it because at the end of it they are kinda tanking themselves.

snugbuddy

If it's a new member it could be some kind of scam. If it's someone with dozens of Karma it could be greed. If it's someone who has been around a while with little karma it could be they are frustrated (desperation is too strong a word). I have no use for the first two scenarios. The third one I can sympathize with somewhat and would not judge the person as harshly as I would the first two.

CuddleDuncan

In a sense there us nothing to discuss here. This is a straightforward breach of the Terms of Service. Report them. In the first instance the outcome is likely to be a friendly warning.

A professional is allowed to initiate communication only if they have reason to believe that the potential client may be interested in their services. Visiting the professional's profile is considered to satisfy that requirement.

Professionals who are visiting another area should use the second location option, starting perhaps a couple of weeks before the trip. This means they will show up in search results for both areas.

CSnMUS87

@stormydaycuddle Yes? Lol I can't tell if this is a virtual cuddle joke or you're maybe planning another trip here. (Which I'd be super excited about.)

wrench

@Tom2019 I wish a pro messaged me saying they would love to cuddle me lol

friendlyhugging

This rule seems a bit harsh on professionals, who do generate revenue for the website.

BrandX3k

Virtual cuddle? Haha! Sounds so nurturing! How bout you virtually pay them, just pull out the money from your wallet, flash it in front of the camera, and be like there ya go, now you can buy virtual groceries and pay your virtual electric bill!

Rezz

@friendlyhugs99
The site started as an enthusiast site where no money was exchanged. Pros were introduced later.

I like the rule. No one here should open their inbox hoping to find a fellow enthusiast wanting to chat only to find nothing but solicitations from pros asking for you to give them money. It would kill the site for enthusiasts.

If someone wants to book with me I am fairly certain they know how to click the very prominent request to book button.