Are there any "pros" with actual professional training similar to Cuddlist?

I've been searching for cuddlers for some time now and it seems the vast majority of pros are just regular people who decide to charge money for their cuddling "services". Are there any cuddlers who actual have formal training? I hear that the site Cuddlist REQUIRES their pros to go through some formal training. Thanks.

Comments

  • edited November 2022

    Yes there are.

    Others have sufficient experience in cuddling and other experience, education and thoughtfulness that have taken them to the same or a higher level.

    Many untrained cuddlers provide a service that their clients find entirely satisfactory.

  • I’ve been doing this for three and a half years and I’ve decided I don’t want to do training with cuddlist. It costs a lot just to learn things I now already know but when you become a part of the site, I have way too many pro friends that have told me almost every inquiry they get is sexual no matter how professional you come off. No thanks… but for those that are new to cuddling, I think the learning would be very beneficial for sure 👍🏻

  • FWIW I'm aware of some of the content on the Cuddlist training program, and have cuddled with one person who has completed that program. I don't think what it provides to cuddlers leads to better sessions for the majority of clients. If you are hesitant about touch or are particularly concerned that your pro cuddler will handle boundaries and consent in a very formalized and explicit way, maybe it'll help. It may also act as a signal that a given cuddler is at least somewhat dedicated to cuddling as a profession.

    But what I want from a cuddler, and my feeling is what most clients want from a cuddler, actually is "just a regular person."

  • I enjoy when my cuddle partner has taken the time to formally train, particularly when it comes to sharing new cuddle positions, and making sure the session flows. For newer pros, the training can also be helpful in making sure experienced clients don't take advantage of you.

  • Yes, I have been through formal training, and others on here have as well; some may list it on their profile, and others may not. I have done the Cuddlist training and went through a more intensive training called Snuggle School, which was created by my colleague @SnugglewithSam there is also Cuddle Sanctuary and Certified cuddlers. By the time I did Cuddlist training, I already had nearly two years of experience. A lot of Cuddlist training did focus on things like safety, communication, and consent, but some parts may benefit some clients, like being trauma-informed (although they did not go very in-depth) and diversity training. A lot of it, I was thinking to myself, "holy sh*t I really could have used this when I first started, I should have done this sooner it would have saved me from a lot of uncomfortable situations, and it would have given me the language I needed to assert myself when dealing with boundary pushers". But by the time I went through the training, I had learned so much from my experience and trial and error that it felt more like I was doing it to have another credential and to be on another cuddling website. In the Snuggle School course, the first half was basically cuddling 101 and went over a lot of the basics that any seasoned cuddle therapist would already know, but the second half got more into how to connect with clients more deeply and how to connect with clients deeply and how to create more value in a session for clients.
    In addition to snuggle school, I have also done a lot of one on one mentoring, both formal and informal. I also have networked and connected with many of my colleagues to share stories, and ideas, give and ask for advice, etc. Receiving mentoring and connecting with colleagues has been immensely helpful, more so than any course I ever took.

    When I first started cuddling, I interacted with clients the same way I would in more one-on-one social situations; I talked about myself and my own problems way more than I would like to admit because my natural tendency is to be a talker and an oversharer. A lot of my clients from my early days made me feel like they hired me because I was young and pretty, and while I cared about my clients, I felt like the service was gracing clients with my presence rather than truly being present and holding space for them.

    These days I try to ask more and share less in sessions, and I am more comfortable being silent and seeing what comes up for the client rather than trying to fill every moment with conversation. This is not to say that my sessions are completely one-sided and emulate a therapy session but that the conversation as a whole is more focused on the client than they are on me. Sure I will tell them how I have been or share a cute picture of my pets, but I will not get into deep conversations about my problems because that simply is not serving the client. One time in my early days of cuddling, I had a session very shortly after something terrible had happened to me, and after the client insisted on hearing the story, I shared, and the client actually cried hearing my story. In hindsight, I cringe at how I handled the situation; this client was paying for comfort and relaxation, and there I was, trauma dumping on them, which is just one of many examples I have. Of course, I was young and dumb and didn't know any better at the time, but this is precisely why I think training is so important.

    When you take Cuddlist training or any other training, the difference to a client may not be super apparent immediately, but if you as a client see a cuddler who is brand new and then see someone with training and experience, you most likely will notice a difference.

    If any of the following things are important to you, you should probably look for a cuddle therapist with training and/or lots of experience.

    • You want someone who will make you feel safe and nurtured
    • You want someone with solid professional boundaries and ethics
    • You want to know that they enjoy their work and that they can take care of themselves, and are staying safe
    • You want someone attentive to your needs
    • You want someone who knows lots of cuddle positions
    • You have been through trauma or are sensitive to touch, and you need someone who can help you safely reintegrate touch into your life
    • You need emotional support and want to feel safe having difficult emotions
    • You want to avoid someone who would cross the line when it comes to platonic boundaries or get too emotionally attached
  • @xandriarain hits it spot on.

    Personally, I think credentials are a good filter for at least a professional who is serious about this work. There are people with no training who take the work seriously, but plenty who don't, and most anyone who invests money in the work is at least someone who really cares about doing this well. Obviously this is my opinion.

    For myself, I would say I learned a moderate amount from Cuddlist, some things I use to this day. I learned some life essential information and skills from my in-person cuddle sanctuary training, definitely worth the trip and costs involved. Beyond that, I have taken mental health first aid and ASIST. I am interested in taking classes in working with people with PTSD and trauma in general, to learn more.

    The sign of a good professional in ANY industry is someone interested in learning everything they can to improve their work. I can't really comprehend the professional who thinks they have nothing to learn. 🤔🤷‍♀️

  • Just providing an alternate point of view. I've been seeing pro cuddlers for a couple of years now and though my experience is anecdotal evidence I haven't felt that the cuddling experience was better or worse based on any training....maybe the training is helpful for the pro cuddler, like if they teach them how to say no, or how to enforce boundaries etc...that could be useful for them...but as far as the client I haven't noticed any difference.
    I mean my top 3 cuddlers pro and non pro are all not formally trained.

  • @Melancholy in terms of the actual cuddles themselves I think you're broadly right. I have noticed a difference, but it's not huge and in some cases it's quite small. Nobody hugs tighter or suddenly 'gets better' at position ABC because they've had training.

    You are right about the kinds of skills that training can help with. Where I believe training to be most valuable is with the more challenging clients. The ones who have real difficulties around touch, or maintaining emotional or other boundaries, that kind of thing. Training helps the professional both to protect themselves and also offer more help to the client.

  • 1 importance is the person, but training definitely helped in some areas, beyond just my safety. 🤷‍♀️ Training won't fix a bad cuddler though, and there are definitely amazing cuddlers who aren't trained. For me, it's more a sign of seriousness and humility. What other career do the professionals insist they're already awesome and have nothing to learn? 🤔

  • @Melancholy That's what I was thinking.

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