Hi. I have a simple question. If you’re considering seeing a cuddler, pro or non-pro, is there anything wrong with contacting someone who left karma for their review and to ask them questions?
Following for answers, I reached out to another Pro for questions about a potential cuddle and she helped me see it was probably not a good idea. I think it's a useful way to keep each other safe.
My understanding is yes it's fine to do that. This is a social networking site, after all. I haven't done it myself, but people have contacted me to ask about others.
False or misleading Karma is routinely deleted by the mods, and should always be Reported. Our instructions from the mods are crystal clear: if in doubt, Report. The community relies on the community to keep everybody safe.
On the flip side privacy of previous clients is important as well and the Karma they left should suffice as their opinion without having others dig into their personal interactions. I'm not against it. Just the devil's advocate POV.
@stormydaycuddle yes that's a good point.
If somebody contacts you in this way, you must remember not to compromise the privacy of the person you are discussing.
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if someone contacted me re. karma I left for someone else. But I don’t think I’d be able to say much more than the karma already says. Unless a point was unclear and someone asked for specific clarification, I guess.
@stormydaycuddle, as long as they’re “agreeable,” right? 🤣
@WiserGuy3000 Absolutely. Hugs!
I’ve had a couple guys and reach out to me, and in all instances it turns out to be a bad situation. Either they end up being some over the top guy in the forums and get banned or they bend up being someone to find solicitation. So it might not be wrong, but it’s proven to me to be a bad thing.
No. I did that once on a 5-star review only to find he suggested not cuddling her. He said she fell asleep for the duration. He had booked 1 hour but the cuddle got extended until she woke up. He left a 5-star review because he felt bad and because he didn't want to blow her incredibly long string of 5-star reviews on a very popular page. But he told me flat out not to cuddle her.
@BashfulLoner you've reminded me that that has happened to me a couple of times. The messages were very delicately phrased, but the implication was that they were asking if the professional offered sexual services. I didn't reply, Reported the matter and in both cases they were banned shortly afterwards. In other words it wasn't just one message to me, it was much more than that.
@PeopleLikeUs I suspect the kind of thing you describe isn't that rare. We all have bad days, and - quite rightly - you don't want to ruin somebody's reputation just because they had a bad day. But it's not ok to write misleading Karma: he could have written nothing at all, or given 5 stars and just described (kindly) what happened.
In regards to a pro I would say it's fine because they are a business you could say. And business is like reviews and this is also a social network. In regards to non-pros I think it's OK just because it's also a social network again. You can always block and report somebody if they're being abusive. Which that also helps in the future too.
I'm gonna go a step ahead and contact the pple who know the pple who left karma...
to the OP , I don't see the concern in contacting the person who left karma....its the type of questions asked that are the challenge .🤔
@PeopleLikeUs I had a cuddler fall asleep on me once. But she wasn't feeling the greatest and hadn't slept well the night before, so I just held her while she slept. I got my cuddles in and got the joy of having someone feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in my arms, and she was able to get a little bit of sleep.
@PeopleLikeUs that’s really kind of you. I’ve napped with clients and done overnights. I don’t see how it’s THAT much of a detriment. But to each their own.
@stormydaycuddle it's fine for a professional to nod off with a client in appropriate circumstances. But there are cases of professionals arriving, falling asleep almost at once and then leaving more or less as soon as they woke up. In other words they did not even begin to provide the service for which they were being paid.
The circumstance described by @KamikaziNinja86 has happened to me. And while it's not supposed to happen, sometimes it just does and it can be an excellent alternative to what was supposed to happen. (The professional concerned was relatively inexperienced at the time, and yes I did draw her attention to the possible dangers of falling asleep with a stranger.)
The difference betwen these two cases depends on a multitude of factors including the demeanor and attitude of the professional, the effect on the client, and how the various amounts of time - awake, asleep, planned and actual session length - all relate to each other.
@stormydaycuddle That's "really kind" of me? What is?
@PeopleLikeUs sorry that was meant for @KamikaziNinja86
Thanks for the feedback everyone. As I suspected, opinions vary. The bottom line is that it's all about how you approach people and what you ask. Be a mature adult and everything should be fine.
I'd like to point out that moderators ONLY delete Karma that has been reported and/or we have been messaged and asked to do so. Karma is intended for connections that have happened. Karma is also intended for cases of no-shows.
@stormydaycuddle it was our 2nd or 3rd time cuddling so we had great rapport already. Plus it was a last minute cuddle, so I was happy to get cuddles 😁 I had my 1st overnight cuddles with this cuddler this past weekend, it was so great waking up to great cuddles, I've missed it so much.
I can see how some wouldn't appreciate a Pro falling asleep, I guess it depends on the relationship/rapport the 2 have.
I’m confused. How would it be a bad thing to ask past cuddlers about their experience with a pro or enthusiast? If you find out something bad about the pro or enthusiast or the response is weird, that doesn’t mean the question is a bad idea. It might save you from having a bad experience. We ask people about their experiences for lots of other things like hair salons, businesses, employers, etc. especially when we want a candid review about their experience with the business.
I don't see anything wrong with people reaching out to previous cuddlers to assist in the vetting process. Karma is usually no more than a couple sentences and only highlights the positives. I think it's fine to ask respectfully for more specific details on how their session went to decide whether or not they'd be compatible. For example, some folks don't mind their cuddler falling asleep while others very much do.
While it would be ideal for everyone to be more candid in their reviews, I don't see it as a reality. Many cuddlers - especially pros - rely on positive reviews to get more clients. There's always a risk that if they don't give their client a positive review, they may not receive a good one in return and vice versa. The truth is you'll get more honesty in a private message. If the sessions with that person have genuinely been good, there should be nothing to worry about.
As far as the concern for privacy, no one should be asking for or giving out PII such as phone numbers or addresses without permission. People fishing for that kind of info should absolutely be reported.
I've had folks ask me about people who seemed genuinely interested and had no bad will at all. I have also had folks ask me about people who seemed like they were fishing to find out whether they welcome boundary pushing and hook ups. So as a general rule , unless I really know the person and their intentions, I try to just stay out of it. And if I do share anything beyond a simple oh, yeah, they really cool I like them a lot , then I always let them know someone is asking questions and do they mind if I share . We are people , not products , and deserve consent and respect.
I completely agree with having a strong level of confidentiality. I believe that is a must on an ethical standpoint. I do think that a lot of people leave good karma because they want to receive good karma. If they received karma and were not reported and banned, I take that as a good sign.
@bekah_cuddles I agree with your entire post! 💯 If people are on the up and up, they should have nothing to worry about. And of course, privacy should never be compromised.
~ Sunset Snuggles
I've never contacted anyone to ask about such things, and I haven't had it happen either, but if I did I'd handle it in the same way @pmvines does. I'd just want to make sure what I was considering sharing was okay with them first.
I get suspicious when all the people who leave reviews have no photo and have vague profiles or minimum effort.