They are probably inactive due to the lack of people on this site... Their own inactivity makes the problem worse. My messages to them may never be read...
I wouldn't expect to find what you're looking for here unless you're willing to pay for it. Just use the site for the forums and keep your eyes open. I assume there's probably more men here than women but being a cuddle site maybe that's not the case.
Most people on every site that's been around a while are inactive. Limit your searches to people who've been on the site in the last week and you'll only see active people. Problem solved.
@CuddleWho Problem is finding active people in a particular area. I have been getting no results in my area with the filters I have set in place. Sure I could greatly increase the pool of options but then I wouldn't be given matches I am interested in. Which is why I say don't get hopes up, just chill and be part of the community.
Yes, there aren't many options for men interested in women, and I'd actually state more strongly than what you did: I don't think most men should try to cuddle enthusiast women on this site.
But that's beside the point. I'm addressing the issue of people's inactivity.
@CuddleWho as in they can't handle just cuddling? care to elaborate?
@Asmrcuddly
Enthusiast men outnumber enthusiast women by a landslide here. Some sign up and never return. Who knows why. All women get overwhelmed with messages at some point. Many of which are inappropriate. This will drive away a majority of female enthusiasts. The only reason there are more pros than female enthusiasts is because we get paid in part to deal with the bullshit where enthusiasts just up and leave.
You can lessen the reigns on your expectations and reach outside your desired area and try to form a mutual connection or you can hire a pro and eliminate the work for yourself.
Good luck!
@Rezz Yeah it's real rough. I am not sure if I would even bother trying to reach out to any woman on this site. I've had plenty of experience with apps or sites involving messaging and all that. There's a 99% chance that any woman who is at all seemingly approachable will have a backlog of messages and anything any one person tries to send just gets lots in the noise.
There's multiple reasons why I immediately stopped bothering with this site when I joined in January.
In addition to the reasons already mentioned, here's another. You come to the site bright-eyed and bushy-tailed eager for your first cuddle. But if it doesn't happen in the expected time frame, then the person gets into a negative feedback loop with zero feedback leading to less trying leading to continued zero feedback leading to even less trying leading to continued zero feedback leading to inactivity.
I meet old and new people all the time and not many at all are from Alabama. Even if you dont believe there is a chance of ever meeting, you never know when you are going to end up in their town or they in yours . Hell, you couid even find a midway point and make a weekend out of it , lord knows I have multiple times. I know it seems like a lot of effort, but you get what you give and sometimes it can really be worthwhile. Some of my best friends are folks I've met from the site who arent anywhere near my hometown.
The negative feedback loop is real. Though, it's probably easier for a male seeking cuddles with another male than a male seeking a female. It's just so sad to see all the smiling faces that haven't logged on for 9 months
@j_land it's just reality. Doesn't matter if it's tinder, a site meant for hookups or whatever. There's too many guys and too many horrible guys. Things would be better if men were not such pigs but we would still have the problem of way, way too many men for the pool of women.
I had several messages when I was an enthusiast. And yes, it was overwhelming. Most were also super pushy and made a lot of demands ie: day and time that was suitable to only their schedule, inflexibility to travel and meeting space, unwillingness to chat on the phone before meeting, refusing to share photos. Once I became a pro I saw a drastically significant drop in messages, but the same pushiness is there. I could reframe pushiness as enthusiastic, but women are at a higher risk of being assaulted in general regardless of environment. A lot of the behavior can be off putting and run people off.
@Asmrcuddly - I’ve got 20 years on you and I have enjoyed numerous cuddles with enthusiasts from this site. Just a couple of thoughts…
1) My first half dozen cuddles or so were all with pros. Every one of those cuddles was an enjoyable experience and I have ZERO regrets about spending the money for those cuddles. I did not think about it at the time but I believe the karma I received from those cuddles played a role in connecting with enthusiasts. I have had cuddles with some pros who never visited my profile but without exception, every enthusiast I have cuddled with visited my profile multiple times and in our messages they mentioned reading my karma.
2) I spent considerable time getting to know enthusiasts well outside of my area. One in particular lives 2 time zones away and I really never expected that we would meet in person but we struck up a friendship and a few months later we realized we were both going to be in the same city at the same time and we had a chance to meet in person. There are currently 2 other enthusiasts I have been talking to for a while now (one is on the West coast and another is “just” one state away) and we hope to meet in the near future. It is an investment of both time and travel but it is worth it.
3) To paraphrase what @Rezz said, you can make the investment of time and travel to cuddle with an enthusiast or you can simply make the investment of money to cuddle with a pro. I have done both.
I’ve had incredible cuddles with pros and I have had incredible cuddles with enthusiasts. It is NOT that one is better than the other but they are different. With a pro, you are the center of attention. With an enthusiast, it is more “mutual” or “reciprocal” for lack of a better word.
I wish you the best of luck and happy cuddles 😊
@JohnR1972 I am glad you found a path that worked for you.
The way I see it is until I know someone well, they are just an avatar with a paragraph. No sweat off of me.
@cylee1180 Exactly.
I agree with @pmvines . Meeting in the middle / compromising on getting together can go a long way
@achetocuddle Thank you avatar w 2 paragraphs. Lol jk Clay.
@JohnR1972 Your point that you believe your karma from pros helped you connect with enthusiasts is an excellent one. I find your summary of how you made CC work for you helpful.
@Asmrcuddly - Have you considered that the opening statement in your profile "I am not vaxxed and have never had Covid and don't plan on either of those things changing." might be a factor that limits the number of replies that you receive? I very much doubt that not so much as a single one of the over 6.6 million people that have been killed by the disease planned on becoming infected.
Perhaps, many of the women in your area not only don't plan on becoming infected, but also actively take steps to avoid it? Could possibly be that the rational ones among them try to avoid close contact with unvaccinated men?
@GreatHornedOwl I think that is a factor. If I read a female enthusiast’s profile and it led with that I wouldn’t waste another second. The way it is phrased is hostile in tone and seems designed to encourage argument. At least change it to something like “I am not vaccinated by personal choice but I understand if you are.” I can live with that.
@Rezz you are now officially my favorite person on this site. I agree with you a hundred percent. Too many horny bad apples ruining it for the whole man enthusiast bunch. Well said.
@pty1999 - I'm trying to decide if I've just been insulted. Yes, I'm a horny man. I'm also a man suffering from touch deprivation. While those two conditions are superficially related, I and many men like me have enough understanding and enough self control, to be able to keep those conditions in separate boxes.
There is no good reason that the fact that I may be horny, should interfere with my ability to be able to deal with my touch deprivation.
I'm not a bad apple, and I object to all horny men being thought of as bad apples. We're not all the same.
Despite moral judgements it comes down to numbers. On this website there are a whole lot more males looking to cuddle women for free than there are women looking to cuddle men for free. Yeah I know some men will come on this forum and say they have no problem finding women to cuddle with for free here. That's no different than in the broader world where some men, for various reasons, have no problem finding many women to date, while other men, for various reasons, are left out in the cold.
@GreatHornedOwl I totally agree.
I think what @pty1999 is saying is there are horny bad apples who believe that they are renting a body to grope and get their horny on with, or at least try to turn it into that , and not that being horny indeed MAKES one a bad apple . Everyone gets horny. It is obvious to most rational people that this is not an either / or scenario. You can obviously be horny and not act like a creepy child with no impulse control, however that still doesn't mean those types are not a reality , and thus impacts their experience on the site and their view about cuddling interweb strangers in general . Dont hate the messenger or the message, hate the horny bad apples .
@pmvines I agree with you also. Lol.
Are horny apples better than rotten apples? Just asking for a friend.
@achetocuddle that is very diplomatic of you
At the end of the day, this is a de facto pro site. No point in pretending otherwise.