I realize I made an assumption earlier and want to see if it's true or not. Has anyone else felt lonely sometimes. ? I don't mean all the time but once in a while especially during the holidays or when you haven't had anyone to cuddle with lately?
For some reason the first choice won't show up. Wait I figured it out. The first question is more like a header.
I got out of a really bad relationship with a narcissist last April. I've been dealing with loneliness and depression since. Especially in regards to not cuddling much. Sometimes I just shut myself off emotionally.
Yes, I frequently feel lonely. Most days, at least for a while.
I feel lonely nearly all the time. I do take care of my nephews and nieces Mondays-Fridays for a period of time, which is a little helpful with me not being able to work at this time. But I do feel a large amount of loneliness still. Sometimes sports helps me. I'm finally getting back into that starting late January. The social aspect of that helps some. I haven't cuddled anyone since last year. So, that has made the loneliness run a little deeper. Especially during a holiday season that has been more trying than usual for me.
Not really. I think I have other feelings that are often mistaken for loneliness. I am actually sad pretty often, but not in a depressed state or loneliness. People get those confused and often use them interchangeably when they are not always the same . I have a decent amount of self esteem and confidence , and even though I'm alone quite often I dont feel lonely. I usually prefer being alone actually. Even with this cuddle stuff , I dont want that sort of thing all the time and dread the thought of co hahabitating . Been there a few times , not my thing . I am typically really content to be by myself and doing my own thing
Yes. While I feel lonely at times, I would rather be alone than in the company of someone who treats me poorly.
Yes
Yes most definitely, me joining the site when I did was a result of loneliness, my life today is much different from than.
Yes, but better to be alone than being treated poorly .
Pretty much my entire life. Even when i was Married.
I would say pretty much 75% of the time since I was 12, gotta love the life of an extreme introvert with anxiety and sever depression who just found out recently that he's slightly on the spectrum.
Yea I gotta say sometimes that feeling of loneliness is overwhelming. While I am sad that others experience this too I do find some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one.
Omg yes. Most of my friends either work all the time or live too far away. I mean it’s nice to talk to them on the phone, but nothing beats seeing them in person and hanging out. And I don’t make friends easily. I find it incredibly hard to make friends as an introvert. Rhetorical question: how do some people make friends so damn easily? It’s like they see a person for 5 seconds and they’re instantly friends with them. It’s not fair.
@Emerald20772 we were instantly friends after 5 seconds. You definitely have that ability. Sometimes they just arent worth your friendship
Yes. I learned too late that "just be yourself" only applies for a specific subset of hobbies and interests.
Do you ever feel lonely?
Yes.
Yes, not sad or depressed, just lonely.
Sometimes lonely, yes. My loneliness increases around certain holidays like Christmas and Valentines Day.
Yes, I do feel lonely at times. I used to hang out with my friends like all time, but now that we've grown more into our career paths, have significant others etc, we hang out with much less frequency.
Additionally, the holidays are a particularly lonely time for those people who are single and would rather not be single. (of course there exist people that are single, but prefer to be single).
@Emerald20772 Extroverted and high social functioning people make friends easily. Luckily, most people aren't worth investing our time into. It's much better to have a few true friends, which introverts can find no problem. Like @pmvines said, you have that ability. I got better at making friends when I lived on campus at university and practiced trying to get to know people. Oh and sorry, you said that was a rhetorical question. But I already typed it out so I guess I'll leave it.
If you're living in the city, using the meetup app, you can find people that have similar interests as you. This will make it easier to connect. If living in rural areas, I've found that rural folk are far friendlier to talk to, maybe because they have no choice.
@sunnysideup quantity over quality is good for certain things , but not when it comes to your inner circle . You are right, a.few ride or dies are always better than a lot of fair weather friends
Sometimes, but I think not that often, regardless if it's during holidays. During my early days on CC, I could fill my 'social needs' even with just being at work, but was missing some human touch; currently, for some reason I feel the opposite. @Emerald20772 totally understand your point; being an introvert and trying to make friends as adults are two tricky variables in the equation.
ERYDAY
I'm in the lonely right now, but I like exploring it. Lonely can be a sad place for sure, but it also makes you present and aware.
Very often yes. Doesn't help that I live very rurally but that can't be helped right now. I'm just glad I have family to visit during Christmas.
@zerocantaloupe I learned too late that "just be yourself" only applies for a specific subset of hobbies and interests./ It's not only the worst advice I've ever heard, but also the nastiest. I too, paid too much attention to it for too long, because it's so prevalent.
What "just be yourself" means is, "Just be yourself so that we can quickly identify you as a bullying target / person to dislike or manipulate / whatever". Or to put it another way, "Just be yourself, so as to make yourself vulnerable and thereby make it easier for me to control or hurt you".
Don't get me wrong, just being yourself is what you should do most of the time ... but not all of the time.
The classic example is job interviews. The HR world promotes the idea that you should "just be yourself" in interviews. This is a deliberate and manipulative lie. All job interview questions have correct answers (often more than one), and your task as an interviewee is to give those correct answers. Being yourself doesn't come into it.
Oddly, I feel lonely quite a bit. It happens to everyone. I have lovely clients, a roommate (who should never be considered for professional cuddles but is excellent support. hahaha), friends, and three puppies, and sometimes I still sit there like, ugh. It's part of the human condition. And while that list might seem fortunate to some, there have been times when I have been entirely alone in the world. It's the age-old question... can you be alone in a crowd?
@CuddleDuncan Not "being yourself" also results in loneliness, because then you're surrounded by people faker than a three-dollar bill. But fakeness is the option most people chose... so it's optimal to adapt to how things are rather than how they should be.
@zerocantaloupe choosing to be fake is different. That's pretending to be somebody else, which is a step beyond letting "you" take a back seat in certain situations. Choosing to be fake pretty much guarantees misery in the end, although it may bring short term gain.
@stormydaycuddle yes you can definitely be alone in a crowd and in my experience it's been worse than being alone by yourself. I have often been around people yet still felt that keen feeling of loneliness that often can feel so overwhelming. I think it's worse because it can feel a bit hopeless. When you're actually alone there's a possibility that someone will show up and well for lack of a better word save me from this feeling. But when you're surrounded by people and still lonely I don't know why but it feels worse. Maybe someone who has studied psychology can explain why.
@stormydaycuddle I have been alone multiple times, for days at a time, in countries where I do not speak the language and my only communication was exchanging a few words with people in the service industry who spoke a bit of (often broken) English. However, they spoke English better than I spoke their language so I am thankful to have even had that bit of interaction. None of the radio or TV programming available in my hotel was in English and this was in the pre-smartphone era so it was not easy to stream YouTube and calls back to the States were cost prohibitive.
However, I never actually felt as lonely in those situations as I do sometimes do today. Today I work in an environment where the vast majority of my travel is within the US and I have colleagues that I share a lot in common with (approximate age, education, etc.). But at the same time, all of my interactions with them seem very superficial.
We speak cordially to each other in the hallways and in our 2 monthly meetings (or at peak times we may have 4 monthly meetings - very different from my corporate career). But there isn’t anyone I work with that is close enough that I would feel comfortable really opening up to or even asking for a significant favor like help moving a heavy piece of furniture.
I feel very connected to myself and to nature but I struggle with truly connecting with other people.