Since it's ok for this asian cuddler to say she only prefers white men is it ok to say someone doesnt want Asian cuddlers ?
Report. That's not ok.
This is a British website. If the person writing that is a professional they are committing an offence.
@Melancholy it's really not your day today!
I'm tired of having to be politically correct all the time. If someone prefers or doesn't prefer a certain race, it doesn't affect you in any way. Just find somebody else to cuddle. It's not the same as a business discriminating against a group of people.
@Mike403
If someone prefers or doesn't prefer a certain race, it doesn't affect you in any way
It does, actually. (That's why it's illegal.)
You could start by thinking about the historical context.
@CuddleDuncan - I've heard women say that they won't date white guys. Did that offend me? No. It isn't illegal to have a preference when it comes to dating or cuddling.
@Mike403 choosing a life partner is one thing, finding a cuddle buddy is quite another. The heart of the cuddle community is about helping each others: being a racist isn't helping anybody.
Being racially discriminated against for being white isn't quite the same as being racially discriminated against for being a person of colour. They're both wrong, but the context is different.
Pros aren't allowed to discriminate. If this person only wants to cuddle with a particular race, they should stick to being an enthusiast.
@CuddleDuncan - The cuddle community is about consent. You should know this. People are not forced to consent to a cuddle with someone for ANY reason they choose.
Not okay. This is actually an issue in the Asian community.
People have preferences, I get that . But that doesnt mean its always acceptable. And if you're a pro registered on the site then of course its obviously not ok . We have all been on here long enough to know that , it's silly to even ask the question.
@Mike403 are you really saying that racism is ok?
He didn't mention that the person in question was a pro. I gave my opinion. I just don't believe people should take offense over something they read. If they do, then maybe the internet isn't for them. It's a dangerous place.
If they aren't threatening physical harm, I just ignore it.
@CuddleDuncan - There is a big difference between somebody saying "I hate black people" and "I prefer to cuddle with white people". There's nothing negative said about the race in the later statement.
Benign preference and malicious discrimination are often indistinguishable. Since they often look alike, as a matter of public policy, the state takes an interest in matters involving the general public (commerce, accommodations, employment, etc.), but not so much in the most personal of situations (marriage, dating, sex work, etc.).
The problem comes at the dividing line between the two. Is choosing a roommate more like marriage and so discrimination is permitted, or more like renting an apartment where it isn’t. Or to the point at hand, is professional platonic cuddling more like employment or something more personal? And is cuddling between enthusiasts personal like dating, or more like commerce even though no money changes hands?
I suspect that if a case were to go all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, the high court would rule that platonic cuddling between enthusiasts is personal so discrimination is allowed. On the other hand, I suspect that the Court would ban discrimination of ANY sort (racial, gender, etc.) in professional platonic cuddling since it is a publicly offered service where money changes hands. Furthermore, since CC operates across U.S. state lines, pros here are engaging in interstate commerce.
But since professional platonic cuddling operates under the radar much like sex work, both pros and clients, as a practical matter, often make their own rules no matter what the state says or what CC terms of service say. That puts CC in a difficult position. Like the state, it clearly wants to come down against malicious discrimination, but it also recognizes the personal nature of both professional and enthusiast platonic cuddling.
Personally, I’m fine with benign preference because I would like to engage in the same practice. But if anyone rejects me, I hope they do it in a sensitive and classy way. And, on the other side, I promise to do the same.
Many posts on this site reference people's hurt feelings. I think people are taking this all too seriously. This is about platonic, short-term cuddling sessions, not real relationships. Don't make too much of it.
If it’s a pro that is providing a service to the community it is bordering on being illegal but probably not actually illegal. May be against TOS. She doesn’t say she doesn’t cuddle non-white people; just that she prefers white people. In either case it is bad taste to put that on a profile. In reality everyone has preferences when it comes to choosing intimate partners and they may well correlate with race. Generally most people are most comfortable around people of their own race because it’s what they are most familiar with. But I think people should strive to overcome any such inclination and be more open minded.
One should also keep in mind that these sentiments are distinctly American/British, or perhaps more broadly European. Many cultures of the World still accept divisions along racial lines and people from those cultures sometimes have to adapt to fit into our culture.
@homeboy Nicely stated
I personally like it when they put their preferences in their profile no matter what they might be so I know not to waste my time contacting them if I don't fit their criteria.
"I hate black people" = "I'm a racist"
"I prefer to cuddle with white people" = "I'm a racist"
There is absolutely no difference at all.
@dave31415
If it’s a pro that is providing a service to the community it is bordering on being illegal but probably not actually illegal.
I don't know about the US, but in the UK it is utterly, unequivocally illegal.
@CuddleDuncan - I guess we can agree to disagree.
@Mike403 we most certainly can not. Racism is a great evil, and you are defending it.
@CuddleDuncan - Having a preference has nothing to do with racism. I'm not gonna argue with you anymore. End of discussion.
@Mike403 having a racial preference is the very definition of racism: that's what it is.
@CuddleDuncan - Since I only cuddle with women, am I a sexist?
People routinely state their racial preferences on dating apps.
The initial quested posed in this thread is basically "is this ok?" And the answer is... it depends on what you mean by "ok". People have a right to choose who they cuddle with. You're not entitled to cuddle with someone else just because you want to and they can turn you down for any reason, a good reason or a bad reason. I think turning someone down based on race is a bad reason, but they still have a right to do it. If you are not as comfortable cuddling with a certain race, consider doing it anyway. Expand your comfort zone. Obviously that needs to be taken with a gentle approach, but consider pushing your comfort zone just a little. Have lunch together and see if you want to meet again.
With the understanding that people can have these preferences, another question is; should they bother writing them on their profile? In this case it's just a preference and probably doesn't need to be stated at all. But what if it was a rule of "I only cuddle with white people". Would non-white people want to be informed of that on someone's profile so they don't waste their time? Or would it be better to keep the preference private and ignore messages from non-white people.
@Mike403 Putting a racial preference in your profile, even if a benign preference, would certainly be interpreted as malicious discrimination. Not a good idea.
@CuddleDuncan wrote: "Having a racial preference is the very definition of racism." Not always. It's situational. I covered it above. I won't beat it to death here.
This is the definition of racism:
"the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."
@Mike403 Fine. I don't disagree with that definition of racism. I disagree that racial preference, ipso facto, always, is equivalent to racism.
Yep and that's how job prospects, romantic prospects, friends, cashier lines, and neighborhoods are chosen.
