@dave31415 wrote: "It's very unusual for a woman to rape a man"
Please do more research.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@SunsetSnuggles Want to elaborate?
@dave31415 you explained this so much better than I was able to (in another thread). Having an understanding of basic biology of both sexes gives us the opportunity to be more understanding of the situation and best way to communicate what’s ok and what is not without causing guilt or harm or judgment. Most of all, it diffuses a possibly scary situation to be kind and understanding, talk openly about and acknowledge the issue whenever possible, to avoid things going terribly wrong. We also have a chance to learn more about the other at the same time. Honestly I find learning more about the opposite sex fascinating!
@dave31415 Not particularly, as it is a very triggering topic, but here's one of many articles, if you're interested:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-victimization-by-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/
@SunsetSnuggles Ok, well that’s a very controversial topic and I also don’t want to debate it.
Ban me if you want, but there's so much detachment and conformity in this thread.
"Society needs to talk about it and continually try to influence male behavior for the happiness of women in our society. "
What in the fuck is this? I'm seriously about to rant, but i'll sum it up. Men do fucked shit, women do fucked up shit. Here I want to talk about alpha women and alpha men and include, "toxic masculinity," in the conversation, but nobody talks about, "toxic feminism."
I'm a White CIS male and I'm alpha. Let's talk about it.
Let's play forum timeout and you can seek help offline, @Saysoh . No, seriously, get help. There will not be some proverbial pissing contest of gender wars on this forum. I'm the queen that outranks all alphas. [-Sid]
Hmm. Alpha males… Do people who use that phrase know that it comes from studying gorillas?
The problem with accountability is that opinions have become facts and facts have become opinions. It matters less what someone actually said vs. how someone else understood it.. And it’s exhausting! It causes people to be less social which is only going to breed more violence.
People turn it into a gender or a race issue so they themselves can feel relevant. I’ve been noticing that CC has become less and less of a “comfort” the past few months. I always logged in looking to find cuddle buddies (sometimes with success, but usually not), but now I find posts asking what everyone’s eating for dinner or asking for interior design advice. It’s frustrating to come to a site that used to provide a break from life, but is now just “more of the same” and is not at all “comforting”. It’s just more disappointment..
@dave31415 I've had reason to give this a lot of thought. Neither I, nor a majority of men in my life, fit this archetype at all. I do not appreciate unsolicited nudes or sexual advances, and neither do my father, my uncles, my brother-in-law, and I feel confident about 80% of the men I deal with on a regular basis. We also don't consider sending ANYONE pictures of our privates acceptable, a good idea, or even a real consideration. We do not "agree not to rape", and if men actually do think that way then there is a much bigger problem than I thought. And I really wish people would stop saying women sexually harassing, stalking, or sexually assaulting a man isn't a problem, men welcome it. I'm not trying to call out an entire gender, or point fingers and place blame. I agree that it appears men are the perpetrators more often than the other way around, but it doesn't matter who the perpetrator or victim is, sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior is wrong.
@great_pillow08 um, yes, yes, and yes! I haven't been here long, so I won't speak to any sort of decline on CC, but I completely agree with you.
@dave31415 Whether I agree with you or not, loved the Holy Grail reference.
Comment deleted by poster. Sorry, that was inappropriate.
@Alan1975 It’s gone down hill QUICK!! I have many established cuddle buddies and only 1 of them is still active on this site, but they’ll all still cuddle with those they “met” here. It’s scary! Regardless of gender, the purpose of this site has shifted from providing comfort to providing a place for people to be social. The platform is losing its relevance and it’s going to lead to becoming an “undercover” hook up/dating site. Anyone with common sense can see that.. And that makes me sad because people NEED to be comforted in life. That can take time, but that’s not something to expect to come quick in life. People definitely have unrealistic expectations!
@great_pillow08 I think this might run parallel to something @JohnR1972 said about the seeming growing attitude of instant gratification. People are sacrificing the mental and emotional connections that are, in my mind totally necessary, for what they think is the ultimate goal as quickly as possible. Someone was talking about biology, and there are certain biological facts that can't be denied, but we are above all social creatures, and all connected whether we care to see it or not. And though we're supposed to be more connected than ever before, it almost feels like we're disconnecting. Ignoring the trees for the forest, as it were; quantity over quality, and probably a few other cliches that really shouldn't apply. I'm not sure how to end this, which means it might be awfully close to a rant.
@Alan1975 Maybe I’m just so screwed up that I don’t just “connect” with people anymore, but I can leave a cuddle session and never see that person again and I’m completely fine with that. A temporary connection or no connection at all is “good” with me. Do I need cuddle buddies? Absolutely! Do I need to “connect” with them on ANY level? Nope!!
@great_pillow08 And just as I was telling someone else that everyone's experience isn't the same, here I am making my own generalizations... As long as it works for you, I don't think it's "screwed up" at all. Maybe that sort of open-minded mindset is better. Food for thought...
I’m finding it’s easier to meet and talk to people without expectations and to have an open mind. It makes it less stressful to just walk away and never converse with them again! Call me crazy for still giving the benefit of a doubt, but once I know I’m not in the presence of someone I can stand to be around again, I’m done. And I feel bad about it, because I was on this site for over a year before I found a good one and I’m a ridiculously empathetic person, but the obligations some people put on a fellow cuddler are just “too much”..
@great_pillow08 I think it's great that you give the benefit of the doubt. Would you say the general attitude is the same, not looking for connections? I'm sort of getting that impression. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but maybe I'm in the wrong place.
@great_pillow08 The scenario you've described is really healthy. Most of us are conditioned to bond with people we cuddle. By treating each cuddler as a companion (rather than a friend) you are laying the foundation for stability in your enthusiast cuddle ventures. I really admire you for it. You are going to do really well at this as I bet you already are.
I promise not to blame anybody for anything this week.