My first time

BapaBob

I'm relatively new on here and have not met anyone yet. I've messaged back and forth with a couple cuddles but still haven't found "the one" who sets my mind at ease.
I want my first cuddle to be a good experience but not so strictly professional that I feel like I had a Dr's appt.
What are some good tips to help select the right person for a first timer? Pro vs amateur?

bobadevotee

I would say that you need to taper your expectations regarding the concept of “strictly professional”. If you’re looking for a pro, please treat it with the same professionalism as a massage therapist or a doctor. Do people sometimes make friends with their masseuses or doctors? Yeah, sometimes! But it is primarily a professional relationship. Please keep it “strictly professional”, as you say. Professional experiences aren’t bad or inherently less intimate. For example, when talking to a therapist or psychologist, it’s definitely intimate and healing. Yet there are EXTREMELY strict professional standards and boundaries, such as not even saying hi or acknowledging your patient outside of the office. The professionalism doesn’t diminish the intimacy or benefits.

If you want a non professional relationship right off the bat, then that would mean connecting with an enthusiast.

Regardless of whether you choose a pro or enthusiast, my biggest tip is communication. My favorite clients are the ones who send paragraphs communicating their expectations and boundaries.

CuddleWho

I suspect when @BapaBob says “not so strictly professional” he doesn’t mean he expects to be best friends with the cuddler and hang out all day. He probably just means he wants the session to be a casual and pleasant time rather than a clinical, formalized experience.

@BapaBob, to that point, in my experience the large majority of pro cuddlers are really casual. Only a few try to overly formalize it. So I don’t think this is a huge risk.

To your larger question, I don’t think there’s an ideal way to pick the perfect cuddler. I suggest you just choose someone and book a session, without holding strong expectations of how it must go. Maybe it’ll be great, maybe not. Once you’ve had a few sessions with a few cuddlers you’ll have a better idea of how things go.

craM

What are some good tips to help select the right person for a first timer? Just know that cuddling doesnt have to be physical, this allowes you to connect regardless of distance. This will also increase your cuddle chances. Pro vs amateur? There are more pros than enthusiasts (as you may have heard) so don't get discouraged. Pros are more avaliable where are enthusiasts aren't as avaliable but (may be) avaliable for longer (free) sessions.

As with similar professions, there are warm and friendly pro cuddlers who handle things less transactional. I would assume that you would need to put the time in to get past screening and prove yourself safe to be soft and open with.
I think many men are looking for a warm connection 💫

@CuddleWho , great advice.
I know I have had to try 7-8 massage therapists to find the one I like.

My question is 'What do you want to get out of this experience?'. I was a pro-cuddler previously, but am now here as an enthusiast. When I was a pro, the experience was client focused, and I didn't think of my wants/needs outside of safety and boundaries. Now I'm operating with both my cuddle buddy and me in mind. An example: as a pro, I wouldn't ask for someone to touch my face. Now, I'm okay with it, because my goals are different.
These are broad strokes, and my own experience, but I hope you find it useful. Best of luck getting what you need and deserve!

CuddleDuncan

If you are a man looking to cuddle women start with professionals. Women enthusiasts are relatively rare.

There is no risk of it feeling like a doctor's appointment, that isn't how it works.

Lots of good advice already in the thread. This may also help:

• How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler

BapaBob

@CuddleDuncan
That thread you shared is a great read! I have a feeling I'll be spending the next hour chasing links to all the related threads you posted at the end. 😆

sillysassy

@BapaBob Welcome to the site and may the cuddle gods be EVER in your favor! (in fact there is another thread with the exact same question)

@CuddleDuncan shared his advice and experiences and that is a beautiful way to start. I would reschedule everything on your calendar because there is a LOT of amazing insight from all the threads. Specifically the MILLION or so threads that discuss men trying to connect with female cuddlers... Pro OR Enthusiast.

Another great resource is from @respectful who did a CRAZY ton of data collection from some older threads.... This is not a new question. Good on you for trying to figure out your experience!!

https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/2711/cuddling-discussions-and-resources/p1

TheFunCartel

Oh you mean my first cuddle. It was magnificent because I selected someone my age who said she would teach me. She rocked. She still lurks and she knows who she is and she is an enthusiast.

Edited for adult content against the forum rules. Please refrain from this in the future. [netrunner]

Melancholy

Just ignore the joker's it makes life easier.

As for your question. I don't think you should try so hard to make the first cuddle so perfect. Luckily it will be the first of many and I barely remember my first.

TheFunCartel

Or enjoy the humor of various people and you will be a little less melancholy.